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Original poster

Ex’s friend asking me for money

88 replies

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:04

A friend of my ex who I am not on speaking terms with has reached out and is asking me for money because they need to pay for transport to college so they can get a degree and move out eventually. I don’t know them but I don’t find it completely impossible that they have no one they can ask for money from. They live with their grandma who has dementia and their family members won’t give them any money because they’re not on good terms. I am on benefits and have a little bit of money for giving gifts for birthdays and Christmas to anyone close to me. My judgement isn’t that great. What questions can I ask to work out if they’re genuine

OP posts:
Neolara · 28/09/2024 15:37

Why on earth would you consider giving them any money at all? That's completely mad. You don't know them and you don't have much yourself. Just ignore them and don't giiit a second thought.

Left · 28/09/2024 15:37

It’s not your responsibility to guide a person you don’t know.

Just block this person and move on.

Neveranynamesleft · 28/09/2024 15:34

Do not even reply.

Colleges have funds / allowances for people that need help with transport so they are just trying to get cash out of you. Do not give anything.

murasaki · 28/09/2024 15:33

Don't even reply, and block straightaway. Your ex has told him that you are a mug, as he's benefited from your generosity. Don't do anything, and don't engage with your ex either, sadly you won't get that money back. Cancel the lot of them.

LaLand234 · 28/09/2024 15:33

Don't even respond - you'll just end up prolonging the conversation. I would block instantly. The cheek of them asking you - as PP have said, your ex must have told their friend you were likely to say yes.

RitzyMcFee · 28/09/2024 15:33

He's asking you for money because he knows that you have given money to your ex so he knows that you give people money.

This is not your problem to solve. How he does or doesn't get to college isn't anything to do with you because you don't know him.

If he doesn't have anyone else to advise him then that isn't your concern because you don't know him.

Either don't answer at all or if you really feel that it will make you feel better say

I am not lending you any money. The college will have someone to give you information about how to pay for transport.

Ohnobackagain · 28/09/2024 15:31

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:26

Actually yeah he does.
I was wondering why his friend would reach out and would ask me I don’t even know him but he’s saying it’s because he has no one.
Il try to direct him to somewhere that can help him

Show quote history

@Shyfrog don’t direct him anywhere and,
if you’re resigned to not getting your money off the ex (i.e. nothing to prove it was a loan) then block the cheating lying pair of them! If not, at least block this cheeky effer who’s just asked you. They can get a student loan or fund themselves like my friends and relatives have. Really annoyed on your behalf.

ChristmasFluff · 28/09/2024 15:29

Do not reply at all. Blocki this 'friend' and anyone else who contacts you asking for money. Your ex has told them you are a soft touch. They are not worthy of a reply. they have google to look for places that can help.

Original poster
Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:26

chestnutroast · 28/09/2024 15:22

let me guess Op

Your ex owes you lots of money

Actually yeah he does.
I was wondering why his friend would reach out and would ask me I don’t even know him but he’s saying it’s because he has no one.
Il try to direct him to somewhere that can help him

OP posts:
GoldenLegend · 28/09/2024 15:25

‘No. Ask my ex. HE’S your friend.’

Hoppinggreen · 28/09/2024 15:25

Why are people suggesting she messages back starting with "sorry"?
OP has nothing to be sorry about and doesn't owe this CF any kind of explanation of her finances

chestnutroast · 28/09/2024 15:22

let me guess Op

Your ex owes you lots of money

ChristmasFluff · 28/09/2024 15:22

Fuck no. they are a random. If you need to give money to a random, walk down your local town centre and buy the Big Issue

coronafiona · 28/09/2024 15:21

"So sorry I can't at the moment. Speak to the college about it they normally have funds to help. "

MoveOnTheCards · 28/09/2024 15:21

Wtf? Why are you even giving this a moment’s thought? Of course you just say no / ignore and block.

Weekendsonly · 28/09/2024 15:19

yabu to consider this as it is a ridiculous request and your ex may have put them up to it. I do appreciate you sound vulnerable though so it’s understandable you’re not sure.

But really, who asks someone that is on benefits that they’re not even friends /related to for money for transport?

It doesn’t matter if it’s a “genuine” request or not.

They’re trying to take advantage - just say no.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 28/09/2024 15:17

WTF? Why are you even considering this?

I wouldn't even answer and just block them.

goodboystepup · 28/09/2024 15:17

Fuck no. Block them.

RitzyMcFee · 28/09/2024 15:17

A friend of your ex who you don't even know is asking you to pay for their college bus?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 28/09/2024 15:17

Why are you even considering this, why did you not shut it down straightaway. You don't even know this person!

Calamitousness · 28/09/2024 15:16

YABU to even consider this. Just say No. Feel free to add “Fuck off” if you need to.

of course this is not your problem.

RB68 · 28/09/2024 15:15

Just No. A you really dont have it to spare, for those going to college or uni to get degrees there are loans, financial support from students union, potentially bursaries etc - tell them to get a degree apprenticeship if they can't afford the standard way

sonjadog · 28/09/2024 15:15

No no no. You don't ask questions, you don't consider this as a possibility. The answer to this is a clear "no". This person shouldn't be asking you at all.

Bananalanacake · 28/09/2024 15:14

Just say, fuck off you cheeky bastard. But then you are not obligated to reply at all.

Turnitoffnonagain · 28/09/2024 15:12

They can work on improving their relationships and ask one of those people ( or maybe they have exhausted their goodwill by asking them for money, too) instead of a relative stranger.