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Original poster

Ex’s friend asking me for money

88 replies

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:04

A friend of my ex who I am not on speaking terms with has reached out and is asking me for money because they need to pay for transport to college so they can get a degree and move out eventually. I don’t know them but I don’t find it completely impossible that they have no one they can ask for money from. They live with their grandma who has dementia and their family members won’t give them any money because they’re not on good terms. I am on benefits and have a little bit of money for giving gifts for birthdays and Christmas to anyone close to me. My judgement isn’t that great. What questions can I ask to work out if they’re genuine

OP posts:
Bumcake · 28/09/2024 16:50

So a stranger has asked you for money you can’t spare? Solution seems simple enough.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 28/09/2024 16:40

*far side of

Idontjetwashthefucker · 28/09/2024 16:38

Don't give him any money and the only place you should be directing him to is the very side of fuck. He's not your problem to solve

TheCatterall · 28/09/2024 16:28

Honestly @Shyfrog there is a lot of additional support at uni for such things. He could speak to student union etc. you shouldn’t be funding or aiding his education.

FionnulaTheCooler · 28/09/2024 16:27

Tell them to piss off, lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part.

Toddlerteaplease · 28/09/2024 16:25

Why would you give money to someone you don't know? Just don't do it.

Maray1967 · 28/09/2024 16:22

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:26

Actually yeah he does.
I was wondering why his friend would reach out and would ask me I don’t even know him but he’s saying it’s because he has no one.
Il try to direct him to somewhere that can help him

Show quote history

A previous poster nailed it, OP. Your ex will have told him to ask you.

Please just tell him to ask your ex.

Calamitousness · 28/09/2024 16:18

@Shyfrog Trust me. He is only using you. He doesn’t like you. He won’t like you even if you give him money.
do not engage with him. Do not send/give him money or advice. Do not try to help him.

Weekendsonly · 28/09/2024 16:18

Oh dear - just seen your update about your ex owing you money. If you feel the need to redirect him anywhere redirect him to your ex! Say your mate must have money stashed away because he’s taken a lot of me and unfortunately not paid it back.

I’m kind of only half joking lol but seriously speaking - just say no and leave it there.

Jl2014 · 28/09/2024 16:09

Don’t ask any questions and don’t lend them any money under any circumstances

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 28/09/2024 16:03

ChristmasFluff · 28/09/2024 15:29

Do not reply at all. Blocki this 'friend' and anyone else who contacts you asking for money. Your ex has told them you are a soft touch. They are not worthy of a reply. they have google to look for places that can help.

Don't direct him anywhere. Say "no" and forget about it.

I see your ex owes you money. Clearly his friend is playing you for a mug.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 28/09/2024 16:01

Don’t direct him anywhere else. He’s old enough and intelligent enough to be at college, he can work Google.

by directing him elsewhere you are acting like this is in any way your problem to solve. It is not- this person is not your friend.

either don’t reply at all, or reply “no.” Don’t get into excuses or anything else.

your ex owes you lots of money, was that one big amount or was it lots and lots of “please can you loan me x as I can’t get to work/pay this bill/get something for my mums birthday.” -and you loaned the next amount while the first was still outstanding. If it was the latter, it makes sense that your first reaction to someone asking for money was to assume you have some sort of duty to give it. You need to learn never to give away your money.

Fuzziduck · 28/09/2024 15:59

Just block, don't reply.

Cocothecoconut · 28/09/2024 15:57

He is not your responsibility
you don’t need to ‘direct’ them anywhere
your Ex has probably told them your a good person to ask because you won’t bother to ask for it back
Block them

countrysidelife2024 · 28/09/2024 15:50

ill take money if your offering it out ? ...

TomeTome · 28/09/2024 15:47

It sounds like you need a bit of support around finances. Nobody who is a good person would ask for money from someone in your position. Do not lend or give money to people you don’t know or aren’t in a very close relationship (this includes boy friends). Ask for your money back from your ex.

Conniebygaslight · 28/09/2024 15:45

He hasn’t “reached out” stop using this sort of language for a start as it only makes this person sound vulnerable which makes you in turn feel obligated. He’s messaged you randomly asking for money. Absolutely do not reply to this person and block immediately.

Thfrog · 28/09/2024 15:45

This is not your problem

Tae1 · 28/09/2024 15:41

Block the number.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 28/09/2024 15:40

It’s a scam- don’t send any money.

If you feel like you can’t ignore their message then tell them to talk to college about a bursary then block. They are cheeky as hell asking you for help.

If you give this person money then they won’t return it. Birthday money was given to you for you to enjoy.

murasaki · 28/09/2024 15:40

Would you give me money, OP? You know me as much as this person, in other words, not at all. Please protect yourself, you sound vulnerable.

Musclebeach · 28/09/2024 15:39

OP with kindness you need to get a bit more street smart

Your ex is a wrong un. They owe you money and clearly have no intention of paying it back.

Their friend doesn’t even know you but thinks it’s ok to ask toy for cash- , a woman who isn’t rolling in spare cash, is already owed a load of money by their mate and would have ZERO reason to trust or want to help them.

Why is your reaction to even try and woo this one out? It’s plain as day you are being taking advantage of and will come off badly.

block this person. Block your ex.

consider seeking some help and support to avoid you being prey to these people

Hadalifeonce · 28/09/2024 15:39

You don't need to ask any questions, you just tell them you are unable to loan them any money.

pikkumyy77 · 28/09/2024 15:37

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:26

Actually yeah he does.
I was wondering why his friend would reach out and would ask me I don’t even know him but he’s saying it’s because he has no one.
Il try to direct him to somewhere that can help him

Show quote history

You are not obligated to do anything for this person. And you shouldn’t.

You seem very sweet and naive so you don’t seem to know that approaching a stranger and telling a sob story to get money is called begging or scamming. Both of these are inappropriate, to say the least, and if fraudulent representations are made may be outright illegal.

Just back away. Its dangerous to get involved with people who are willing to do inappropriate and illegal things to get money from strangers.

The fact that this impudent asshole had the nerve to beg a stranger for money is a huge red flag. Walk around him like you would an open sewer. Don’t engage at all.

Celt2024 · 28/09/2024 15:37

Do not respond. Block them.