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Original poster

Ex’s friend asking me for money

88 replies

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 15:04

A friend of my ex who I am not on speaking terms with has reached out and is asking me for money because they need to pay for transport to college so they can get a degree and move out eventually. I don’t know them but I don’t find it completely impossible that they have no one they can ask for money from. They live with their grandma who has dementia and their family members won’t give them any money because they’re not on good terms. I am on benefits and have a little bit of money for giving gifts for birthdays and Christmas to anyone close to me. My judgement isn’t that great. What questions can I ask to work out if they’re genuine

OP posts:
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FetchezLaVache · 01/10/2024 19:56

You should treat this person with the respect and consideration they have shown you and simply text back the word 'No', then block the number.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 01/10/2024 19:44

For the future OP- anyone who asks for money - your default should be no.

if you do decide to help out a future partner or friend, never given a second “loan” when the first hasn’t been full repaid.

Natwestbit · 28/09/2024 22:04

No is all you need to say.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 28/09/2024 21:55

Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 17:22

Ok I will just ignore his messages now I think you’re right

Don't ignore him, block him. You don't even know him!

rightoguvnor · 28/09/2024 17:43

Whether they are genuine or not, you are not in a position to be giving loans or monetary gifts.
They know you lack judgement and they are trying it on.
Just explain you haven't sufficient funds to help out.

Delphiniumandlupins · 28/09/2024 17:37

They have probably contacted lots of friends of friends. Or it's a scam that hasn't even come from them. You have no spare money for someone you have no connection with. Look after yourself.

ThePure · 28/09/2024 17:37

Why the hell would you even consider this?
Someone who is a friend of your ex who you don't even know and you would give them your hard earned cash??
This is really not a thing that most people would do
Donate to a charity if you want to do something to help people.
Ignore, block, work on your boundaries
No is a full sentence

Cuppa2sugars · 28/09/2024 17:32

you must block him. i have a friend who is so willing to help people it’s been at her own detriment. She’s now in serious financial trouble.

FupaTrooper · 28/09/2024 17:32

DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY MONEY.

You need to protect yourself from these people targeting you.

Don't engage or give them an opportunity to manipulate you.

Sassybooklover · 28/09/2024 17:27

This person isn't even a friend of yours, it's a friend of your ex-partner. I'm going to hazard a guess, that you don't know this person particularly well and aren't close? The answer is to reply back....sorry, I'm on a low income myself, so I am not in a position to lend you money...then block them. Do not under any circumstances lend this person money. You will never see a penny of it again, and this person will keep tapping you up for more!

Neveranynamesleft · 28/09/2024 17:24

Block the number.

Gillywoo1978 · 28/09/2024 17:23

Absolutely don't give then money. Ignore the message.

Original poster
Shyfrog · 28/09/2024 17:22

Ok I will just ignore his messages now I think you’re right

OP posts:
Bigcat25 · 28/09/2024 17:22

He's asking bc he knows you lent your ex money so sees you as a soft hearted target. He can get a job - but regardless it isn't your problem. Don't loose part of any safety net you have for yourself.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 28/09/2024 17:16

Just block him and forget about him. Don't reply, don't get involved.

WeirdyWorldy · 28/09/2024 17:16

No OP don't direct them. Just block them.

They will have infinite excuses as to why the advice you give them won't work!

Just block them.

Psychologymam · 28/09/2024 17:09

They need the money for drugs/gambling. Nothing else makes people so desperate as to concoct that half baked story and try to scam vulnerable people. Please say no and block. Your ex has obviously suggested you’re an easy target. You sound very caring btw - but please don’t!

CoffeeGood · 28/09/2024 17:04

How did he get your number if you don't know him?

I'll tell you... your ex gave it to him and they are working together to try and scam money out of you because your ex knows you are a kind person and a soft touch for a sob story. This random stranger doesn't need bus money. Simply ignore the message and block if he persists, but under no circumstances give him any money!

Saschka · 28/09/2024 17:03

TheCatterall · 28/09/2024 16:28

Honestly @Shyfrog there is a lot of additional support at uni for such things. He could speak to student union etc. you shouldn’t be funding or aiding his education.

He probably isn’t even in college. Just wants so extra cash for weed and OP’s ex has told him she’s a complete mug.

GreatMistakes · 28/09/2024 16:58

Ew, no.

You don't owe nice to someone commuting daylight robbery on you.

Block and disengage.

Bamboozledbylife · 28/09/2024 16:56

Why would you get involved at all? If you respond at all, you're out of your mind...

Beezknees · 28/09/2024 16:55

Do not give him any money and don't try and help him find support either! Cheeky fucker can do it himself. I've been in a bad position with finances before and I would never dream of asking somebody I don't know for money!

TheGreenKnight · 28/09/2024 16:54

Sod whether they are genuine. It's not your problem. Just block and ignore!

Justsayit123 · 28/09/2024 16:52

Seriously??? Someone you don’t know is asking you for money when you don’t seem to have much and you’re considering loaning /losing money to this person ….. get your own house in order first

EmeraldSakara · 28/09/2024 16:52

Conniebygaslight · 28/09/2024 15:45

He hasn’t “reached out” stop using this sort of language for a start as it only makes this person sound vulnerable which makes you in turn feel obligated. He’s messaged you randomly asking for money. Absolutely do not reply to this person and block immediately.

This.
Why are you even considering engaging with this stranger?