Married 22 years, not particularly a happy one. DH has been quite emotionally abusive, gaslights, putting me down etc.
Had a really bad few years with my mental health, hospital stay and DH wasn't very supportive.
Then had a major accident which left me bedridden for 6weeks. DH would cook for me but did little in the house and no emotional support at all.
We discussed splitting up but not really an option financially at the moment.
I decided to get myself together, make more friends and just have a life for myself.
DH was then diagnosed with life changing cancer. We pulled together and I have been supportive. The first six weeks he seemed appreciative, we started doing things together and I just wanted to be there for him every step of the way. He was snappy and irritated with me at times but I let it all go over my head, who wouldn't be snappy in that situation?
The last few weeks though he has returned to type. Being quite nasty and emotionally abusive. I'm torn because I know this is a difficult time for him but it's really upsetting.
Last night he was horrible and I snapped back and we argued. He told me he doesn't want me looking after him.
Im just feeling very low today. I have nobody to talk to because he doesn't want anyone knowing and I have to respect that.
Was I being selfish to snap back? Not sure if I should just keep my mouth shut whilst he is going through treatment?
I feel so sad but not sure if I'm being selfish in all this?