To have unfriended this person?

Absolutely do not do that!

You judgemental person. People grieve differently and if enjoying her holiday with her family gave her a bit of a break from the grief, why shouldn’t she??

What should she have done? Sat at home with the curtains drawn, wearing a black cloak?

I can’t believe people like you exist. Not everyone behaves the way you do (thank god).

YABVU. Just... unbelievable. Not her, you.

You’ve massively overreacted.

2 days after my DH died a very close friend scooped me up and took me to the coast where we had lunch/drinks/dinner. I had nursed him for months and then been at his hospital bedside for weeks knowing that he was dying, very traumatically. I was exhausted and ill.

What is important is the stuff that comes before the death, what you do to provide comfort and support to the person who is dying. What you do after has zero effect on them and yes, that includes a holiday with drinks and SM pictures.

You are very judgmental.

Oooh, dear! We are judgmental, arent' we?! If that is all you have to worry about, then you are a very lucky person. Do you know the lady's personal circumstances, how she felt about it all? Perhaps she is suffering deep down inside and the holiday was the only way for her to have a release. Perhaps the holiday cost a fortune and the family decided that mum would have wanted them to go way after she died. I think you need to grow up and, heaven forbid, should you ever face real life (take a look at what is going on in the world on the news) that you are not so judgement to your fellow human.

OP, how have you managed to make her mum’s death about you?!

You are being so unfair. My twin sons died at birth last November. We were so afraid of the grief and Christmas that we went to Spain for Christmas weekend to escape. Dh posted a pic of us on Christmas day online putting on a brave face. People were genuinely happy to see us doing ok. Am i a bad person and a bad mother to you?

Getting away saved us. I think I'd have died in our home on Christmas day. I find your comments so offensive. I loved my sons and still do but we had to save ourselves too and if posting a picture brought some comfort and normality. So what.

YABVU.

When my mum died last December, I grieved for her but mostly I was happy for the life she’d had. She was 83 and died in her sleep having had a life surrounded by people who loved her. Her funeral was joyous and celebratory… tears but also laughter at some of the fun times we’d all enjoyed together.

You have no idea how your “friend” truly feels. It’s incredibly immature not to understand that photos on social media mean nothing.

I went on a last minute holiday last year after a bereavement. I didn't want to go, but my partner booked it as a surprise, and actually it was just what I needed. A break and a change of scenery. I still cried at least once a day, but at least the weather and scenery was nice. I know a couple of my friends judged me about going on holiday. We are no longer friends. Grief has actually been a great filter for getting all of the toxic people out of my life.

Have you had any grief counselling? It might help you to see things from a different perspective. Hopefully a less toxic one that sees that grief is different for everyone and there is no "wrong" or "right" way to grieve.

Total overreaction. You have no idea what is going on in her head. Very judgemental.

Another YBVU OP.

My dad died two weeks before my birthday 30 years ago. I still went for my birthday meal with my (then) DH, my mum still made a huge fuss as did my sisters and friends, I still had a lovely, if a bit subdued, time. It was my birthday - life didn't suddenly stop, work carried on, I still had a house to run. Not enjoying myself wouldn't have brought my dad back and it was a relief to have some release that didn't involve crying to be honest.

When mum died a few years ago we'd dealt with her and dementia for six years. I didn't cry so much then as I did for my dad - I'd done six years of it and was worn out. So, had I had a holiday booked, I'd have gone on it gladly. And enjoyed it as a chance to recharge. I couldn't believe how tired I was until it hit me a few days after mum's death.

As for the sorting every thing out? It took me and my sisters a couple of days to organise the funeral, one of us did the contacting of family, one organised flowers, one of us collected the death certificate (didn't need all of us trooping over to the hospital and registrar's), a day to sort out insurance/finances etc. Apart from clearing her room in the residential home she finally lived in, there wasn't much to organise. The sorting stuff out doesn't all have to be done immediately.

Please, if you do decide to 're-friend' her, do NOT do as someone suggested. Do NOT explain that you were upset etc., Pretend you'd hit the wrong person's button to unfriend and have only just realised. She doesn't need to hear your woes about her post. It's her life, she can lead it as she wants and doesn't have to conform to your ideals. If you can't accept that, then maybe leave her as unfriended.

This is one of the most self absorbed posts I've read in a while

With the greatest respect You don’t get to decide how someone handles the death of anyone and certainly not their own mother.
I can’t help thinking you must have had a problem with her to begin with and you’re using her reaction or perhaps her way of coping with losing her mum, that’s a pretty low blow to be honest.

I think your’friend’ is better without your judgmental attitude

This is judgemental and unreasonable, but sounds like it is clearly related to your own grief that hasn't been dealt with. If you are still struggling a few years after your mum died I'd recommend you get some therapy.

How other people choose to grieve their loss is none of your business!
She's better off not being your friend. And given that you only seem to interact on social media what difference does it make?
When did you last have coffee with her etc?
Did you ever meet her mum?
Did you know anything about her?
Mind your own business.

I went on a family holiday in between my much loved dad dying and his funeral. I desperately needed it after caring for him round the clock for 2 months at his home, away from my own husband and kids. I truly do not care who judged me.

Are there grieving rules we have to follow now? I missed the memo.

My best friend lost her DH suddenly at 31. It was devastating for her. We coped by screaming with laughter about the most inappropriate jokes we could think of regarding death and coffins. It was what SHE needed at the time. No one has the right to dictate another persons grief.

Why am I not surprised the OP posted the OP then didn't return. Boring......

Your feelings, your choice but its not a choice I would have made.

In my family we celebrate the life the perosn had. Also believe that the show must go on. I know my parents wouldn't want me to miss out due to their passing.

I think you are being ridiculously unreasonable.

You’re judgemental and think you’re a better person than her so you’ve done her a favour really.
A holiday would have been welcome after my dad died, rather than weeks at home with nothing but reminders and the dread of the upcoming funeral permanently on my mind.

What did you want her to do, post crying pics of herself and maudlin quotes?

The holiday may have been pre-booked. Why should she cancel and lose money/disappoint her family?

Maybe the holiday was to help her get some space.

Whatever it was, it was absolutely none of your business. Life goes on, and everyone handles grief differently. She might well be sobbing herself to sleep; her mother is dead, why does she have to be sat at home grieving? Her mother isn't there. It's not like she swanned off while her mother was lying on her death bed. I remember when my dad died, I couldn't wait to get out of the room and away from the body. That wasn't my dad anymore. If I could have gone on holiday, I bloody would have done, too!

Ridiculous.