To be really really pissed off with my Son's Bus drivers and the parent?

Read the post! The OP said the difficulty is at the school end. There's no issue at her end

And just to add the bus driver and school told her to wait for the honk so she's literally following instructions!

This nails it.
The school needs to help your DS and find strategies to get him off the bus or arrange that the bus shift is long enough to get everyone off it. 10 mins is not OT, a bad traffic jam would add 10 mins to a bus journey

All children are different ,my son wouldn't be able to.tolerate ear defenders he would just throw them on the floor.

Little girl next door with autism gets onto her special needs bus with ear phones. Think she wears them quite a bit. Thought this was normal for kids who can get over sensitised to other noises but cant be removed form that particiular situation like a bus ride.

I wait for the P/A to phone Me every morning ,they meet me in a busy car park behind my house ,I'm not going to wait outside because my son cannot understand the need to wait and has no awareness of danger ,he's 14 now and although very small for his age I'm finding it more difficult to contain him ,and he would just run into a moving car ,I need to keep him safe in the house
This thread shows that some posters have little understanding of disabilities.

Op I feel for you. Life can be so bloody difficult and these people are being cows. The bus staff need to shut their mouths and get another job. Your son is who he is. And the other mum needs to be spoken to. She has likely forgotten that when her child was in mainstream, some people were likely saying similar about her child. How quickly she has forgotten what it's like. I'm speaking from my gut so I'm aware my post may offend.

No they have bidded the LEA for the contract and.

I have one of those. It doesn't change anything.

Doesn't matter of he refused to get off every single day - he is disabled, his SEN school and transport are trained and funded to manage his behaviour.
You can't do anything about it.

Inconvenience to the driver, the assistant's second job, how the school get children off the bus, some other child's needs - none if these things are the OP's concern.
These are all things for the school or bus company to manage.

OP's only job is to advocate for her own child.

I would definitely complain.

Tell the school that them not getting your son off the bus quickly is upsetting the driver and helper. Nothing you can do about it that is entirely up to the school. Similarly the complaining mum, nothing you can do about it and I would tell her so. If she doesn't expect a special school to have children with significant problems she has made a mistake and should put her son back in mainstream. Doesn't like a noisy environment would rule out pretty much all schools really.

My son has similar needs ,and we have ongoing problems with transport ,I honestly think they exacerbate his behaviour, he's 14 now ,over the years we have had excellent,mediocre and utterly terrible transport PA,s ,they have threatened to not Puck him up on occasion so i can really sympathise
Regarding the other parent that sounds awful I would speak to school ,there is absolutely no way they should be messaging you on class do jo,school need to put a stop to thst
My sons school is for pupils who have severe to profound learning disabilities, so there is more of a level of understanding with the parents as all our children have complex needs.

I teach at a special school and the children who come on their own transport come with an escort, parents don’t have to support. Individual transport is more expensive for the local authority though so it can be quite difficult to have them approve it, usually it is only offered if the child doesn’t easily fit onto any pre-existing routes due to their location or if the child sharing transport really cannot tolerate sharing with anybody else.

I will also say it is not uncommon for students not to want to get out of their bus or taxi at our school, especially at this point in the autumn term where they have had a long summer break, have likely had changes to their class (teacher, TAs, peer group, classroom etc) and are still getting used to the routine. The teacher should be working to find the strategies which will support and motivate your son to transition off the bus smoothly, for example making sure he is supported by someone familiar, that his communication system is in place to tell him where he is going once off the bus and that his morning routine once he is off the bus and in school is motivating and predictable. I would speak to his teacher about the complaints from the transport, in my school if a child was having an issue getting off the bus we would hold an MDT with all of the staff working with them invited, including the behaviour support team and therapists such as SaLT and OT, to try and put together a solution. We would also keep a record of when the student wasn’t getting off the bus, for example using an ABC chart, to see if there is any pattern as to when it’s happening, for example it may always be when the car park is busy or when it’s raining or when a specific song is on the radio. We would look to see if there is a pattern/ cause which can then be worked around. Having to change to different transport would be a last resort only if nothing else we tried to put in place worked!

I know he isn’t being difficult, I haven’t suggested he is being? The driver is obviously having to make his arrival known, by beeping the horn, so the OP is not there as he arrives to help her DS off the bus. The OP needs to be there when the bus arrives on the dot, to facilitate her DS off the bus, and ensure the driver is not late.

OP, this post breaks my heart. Your son sounds similar to my boy and it’s so unfair to hear of a child being discriminated against by another parent but also professionals (bus driver and escort) , just makes me really sad and angry.

i don’t know how your LA works but here the school don’t run the buses that’s done by council school transport coordinator, as my son also used to “drop” and refuse to get off the bus at home time.
My poor boy struggled on a mini bus with 11 other kids for two years, he was lashing out, grabbing hair, put in a special harness, I fought the council and got nowhere until he eventually took his seatbelt off on the dual carriageway so they had to take action.

He was given a wheelchair even thought he’s physically fit but could then be transported on a wheelchair accessible bus with only four other kids and no one in his personal space and wheeled on and off with no issues. Good as gold 😊

We have a son with similar needs who also gets transport to and from his specialist school and due to the various factors there's a ten to fifteen minute window of time within which the bus might arrive on any day, obviously it's silly to be waiting by the window or on the doorstep the whole time! Our bus guide gives us a missed call as they turn into our road which works well (except that they always call my husband, never me, even though our working patterns mean it's me more than half the time! He just immediately calls me though so it's fine).
OP this is so unfair for you. That mum is awful and school need to have a word with her. She should take it up with the transport provider if she thinks her son needs alternative arrangements. My son (who for a non-verbal person is the loudest person I've ever met!!) has always been on the bus with kids from the more mainstreamish bits of his special schools and we have not had these issues (if any parents have then they have sensibly not addressed them to me!)
Good luck to you and your lovely boy xx

Completely agree. I'd be waiting ready for the bus, not waiting for the bus to honk!
It's not unreasonable to expect OP's son to get off the bus when requested rather than sitting there as he enjoys the ride. They have other stops (and second jobs) to get to.
Yes some patience is needed but it seems the OP expects a personalised service which a community bus serving many others cannot provide.
OP is being unreasoanble and should get her son a taxi rather than inconvenience everyone else both ends of each journey.

Doubt it.

He's entitled to go and he's entitled to LA transport

It's not like he's aggressive or a danger to anyone

Better training is needed by the sounds of it.

Who are they complaining to? You?

This is a child who's never going to be independent. A little kindness doesn't hurt.

School will have a transport liaison staff member. That is who you speak to regarding the reported issues getting your son off the bus at school - find out whether it is indeed a problem, mention that the driver and escort have complained to you about his reluctance, and work with the school staff member if need be on improving the situation. As somebody else mentioned, your son might be waiting for an audible trigger.

As for the other parent, block / ignore / mention to school if it's really bothering you. Some autistic children are upset by noise; others crave it and make lots of noise themselves. My son is one of them, he makes loud vocal noises but also likes having loud noises around him (he's partially deaf). It's never been mentioned as an issue by school, and I note that sometimes his class members wear ear protectors (and feel slightly guilty!) but I trust school to handle this appropriately.