To have told DD she has to come to family day out regardless of how she feels?

It’s only somewhere nice for the day if she wants to go though.

for lots of people Disney would be nice for the day but if someone wanted to take me there I wouldn’t find it nice.

Are you posting from 2022? The tide has changed on that one. Younger teens especially just laugh at the trans stuff now, they see it as attention seeking nonsense and have no time for it. They couldn't give a shit about whether or not JKR is a terf or not because to them that's just adults arguing about unfashionable bollocks.

I’m so glad my parents weren’t into dictatorship. I never went on a family holiday after the age of about 12 because I hated them. Mt granny moved in with me when they went away and everyone had a better time. Forcing teenagers to do stuff they don’t want is awful, at 15 she’s plenty old enough to make her own decisions.

Oh come on, don’t be disingenuous- it’s well known at this point how extreme her views are on trans people. She literally decided an Olympian athlete was a man because she didn’t look feminine enough 😂 she’s not only anti-trans, she’s anti-feminist in my opinion. Anyway, absolutely not my job to educate you, please feel free to google and have a nice day- I’m too old for arguing with people on the internet!

OP "AIBU"
posters "maybe"
OP "No I am not"

But if you don't want to go, and DD doesn't want to go, then why can't your DH and DS just go?

My point is the OP is the parent , she wants to take her 15 year old somewhere nice for the day, she is in charge, she is the decision maker, just bloody well take her.

When was she last into them?

Dd14 wanted to go to London for a vampire event then when it came to the time didn't want to go.

But we had booked the hotel and tickets. She went but I do think HP is for younger kids.

An entirely sensible suggestion but not one the OP is likely to consider as she's determined this must be a "family day" (except when it's a "birthday present")

Well you should be able to explain why you think someone is a bigot? If they are then it shouldn't be difficult.

Maybe you could find an example.

Can you really not see why she's pissed off.
She wanted to go for years but you never took her.

OP can't see beyond her big surprise family day.

The tickets are expensive, but it’s likely the op has two free carer tickets with two disabled dc. And the tickets would be easy to sell on if not.

She is definitely not too old for it. Even if she isn't that into HP now, it's agreat day out. If you can't leave her alone at home then she has to come. Bet she will love it. Lots of PP on here have obviously not been. I thought the same, that it was aimed at children, but it's more showcasing the movie sets. I loved the movies so perhpas bias as it's really nice to see them IRL. But my OH who has only watched the first movie also really enjoyed it. Costumes, the lay out, lots of interesting facts about special effects etc. The staff were all lovely. I'd go back if it wasn't quite an expensive day out.

Same. I took my ds years ago but wouldn’t go now.

DD won't be thinking about crowds etc as she knows I'll ensure she has what she needs.

you can’t assume that, she is getting older she is getting more aware of her own needs - and that’s a good thing really. Nobody can ensure Harry Potter world won’t be crowded it is what it is.

i actually think your inadvertently letting her down by having an “I deal with it” attitude.

But why not write this one off as a family day, give the tickets to a couple of DS's friends, and arrange it so that one parent stays home with DD? You can have the family day another time.

Not sure it needs explaining, I think it’s pretty obvious- choosing not to support a bigot is a positive thing, and I think it reflects very well on the teenagers the first commenter was referencing. Well aware that’s a very unpopular view on this site, which I think is sad and embarrassing, but to each their own!

The tickets were a surprise for DD..

So you didn’t notice she had outgrown it?

Didn’t speak to her about whether she still wanted to go? Many people, especially kids, might have wanted to do something Years ago and now not bothered about it.

I would take her. She has a good chance of enjoying it. It’s a family day out. You think she would enjoy it. Family days out often do involve a bit of boredom or doing something for someone else. That’s a good thing.

For what it's worth I would also just take her bit you seem to have made up your mind before posting the thread. Since it's what you have decided, just take her.

Can you really not see why she's pissed off.
She wanted to go for years but you never took her.
The ship sailed, now she is forced to go because her brother wants to. To add insult to injury it's given to her as her birthday present?

I think your DD is coping with you remarkably well. Poor kid.

Honestly Op, you gave 2 children a joint birthday present. Children who are 5 years apart. Which is quite unusual.

And the gift is something the older one wanted to do for years and couldn’t because you wouldn’t. and now doesn’t want to as they have outgrown it. But Now the younger one wants to, you find yourself able to force yourself to go.

and somehow making out it’s for the older birthday AND making them do something they don’t want as their birthday treat? all because the younger one wants to.

Cant you see the issue?

I mean I don't think it's fair to make her come - bluntly, she didn't ask you to book it. If she did then that's another story.

But I wouldn't stop your other child from going. I'd concentrate on finding a way for her to stay home and the rest of you going.

Really? Why not discuss beforehand if it was an outing the "family" were interested in.