To have told DD she has to come to family day out regardless of how she feels?

I fortunately don't have experience with autism but I presume the OP knows her own child better than anyone here.

@Runnerinthenight she's autistic, there is FAR more to this than the simplistic view you put across.

E.g. Sensory overwhelm. THIS is how some autistic people experience the world. It's just not that simple.

That is true but there is a difference in a parent want to go see a monument that the kids think of boring and deliberately buying tickets to something someone doesn't want to go too

Sure there is lots of things I may decided in the past or my child wants to do but people change

Op we did HP world, had 5 kids with us at the time from 4 to 17. Dd, who is autistic was obsessed and wanted to go for years. When we told her we booked 4 days in London plus HP she freaked out and refused to go. I downloaded the asd booklet from their website and left it beside her bed and just didn't mention it for a few weeks. I find especially if it is something she has looked forward to for so long, when she gets it, she panics. She really needs time and space to come around. Depending on when you go, I just wouldn't mention it for a while, give her the print outs and then gently bring it up again.

We went about 8 years ago with our daughters and I think it’s got better since then. My husband hadn’t at that point either read the books or watched the films and he loved it. Came back and got stuck into the films too.

in this instance I think I’d be my heels in. I’d also try to understand who she didn’t want to go now though.

Life is about having to do things you really don't want to do or feel comfortable doing!!!

Read the OP's posts

She can't be left at home alone

Maybe try suggesting reasons why you think she might not want to go and she will affirm or otherwise?

Can you appeal to her better nature? Tell her you may have to cancel if she won't go and remind her that her little brother is really excited to go? And wouldn't she get pleasure from his enjoyment too (as they sound pretty close)?

I think it’s quite unfair you say your autistic imagine if someone decided you was going to do something you really didn’t want or feel comfortable doing.
Also it could be teen pressure they are acutely aware of what is cool and what isn’t at that age and the hysteria around JKR.
I have a 14 year old and there’s no way I would force her to go to something she doesn’t want to do you stay home you said your not fussed why make a big song and dance about it

I hope you are able to go, we went last Christmas and had a magical time. My husband isn't an HP fan, hasn't read the books or seen any of the film, but he had a great time, perhaps our enthusiasm was infectious! I'm a grown-up but still adore the HP books. I really don't think it will be too young for a fifteen-year old, there are some really impressive sets and interesting glimpses into the way the films were made. We were there for hours just exploring.

Erm, that might be because she did want to go and has until recently being playing Harry Potter stuff with her little brother? And because it's expensive and it's booked? And because she's autistic and can't be left? Also because 15 year olds don't get to dictate family outings??

@Dawevi try talking to her again - ask her if she's not into Harry Potter any more or if something else is bothering her. Point out how she's played HP things with her brother, and he really wants to go, and that you booked it because you thought both of them did. Maybe suggest that if she sucks it up and goes with a good grace, she gets to pick the next family day out (within reason!)?

OP I am also an autistic parent of autistic ADHD kids. I don't always understand why they change their minds about things, but usually it's due to sensory overwhelm, burnout, or the mind taking over and presenting them with problems.

It's all very well agreeing to go to something and wanting to go to something, but the reality is, the idea of actually going ahead with it might be overwhelming.

I would be looking at more trying to figure out why your daughter doesn't want to go then looking at whether you can force her to go.

Unfortunately, these things do happen and conflicts occur. it can be really difficult and it can waste money, but there's no way I would force an autistic person to go to a crowded, busy place with very little escape should they feel overwhelmed. perhaps you could have a conversation with her by text message if she feels uncomfortable talking to you about this in person.

Especially as she’s autistic. And it would explain why she won’t say why she doesn’t want to go.

@Dawevi Have you found out why she doesn't want to go? Are you going to ask her? - as in be genuinely curious, as you may get a reasonable answer. Once that's shared on the thread, advice can be given. There's not enough data, the information given is one sided...and that leads to speculation

This🖕
I'd lay money on her being acutely aware that liking harry potter=approving of JK Rowling= being transphobic=teen social death (not saying it's a nuanced view bit then her teen peers are unlikely to be nuanced). It's a brave teen that would outwardly make the case for their rationale for going to HPW....

Could it be that HP was a special interest to her for a long time and now it isn't? Maybe that has something to do with it. She could also be feeling anxious and maybe not sure how to express herself.

Outgrown Harry Potter? Once a Potterhead, always a Potterhead. You just like it for different reasons. We're going on the studio tour again soon (at my request) and I'm 62!

OP - just take her. There are some genuinely jaw-dropping moments on that tour.

Of course yanbu.

Family days out aren't things kids just get to opt out of unless there are specific reasons to do so.

Sometimes, you just have to accept you're part of a group and the group is doing this. This happens all the time as an adult, people choosing crap restaurants, crap books for book club, crap films to go to... we just suck it up don't we and wait our turn to choose the restaurant, book, film etc. Kids need to learn this.

Sadly it's probably the JK Rowling thing. That's unfortunately what happens when kids are allowed access to social media which is now mostly just short videos which are constantly pushing agendas at people and require no critical thinking or fact verification. Then the majority of the time they actually spend face to face with people their own age is spent in schools who have all but abolished any right to freedom of speech particularly around the issue of gender identity. I'm literally terrified of my 6YO becoming a teenager.

I am curious how people think they can insist a 15 year old goes. It's not like you can physically pick her up and throw her in the car?

I was also going to ask if it could be a JKR thing - HP isn't what it was for many people now and she may feel strongly that she doesn't want to go/support it or she may worry that she will be seen as transphobic by her peers if they hear she's gone.

You may not agree with either stance, but if that's her view you can't force her.

Agree that one of you goes with DS, the other stays home with DD.

Hope you all have a good time together.

I remember as a teen not wanting to do family outings or trips… no reason too