To have told DD she has to come to family day out regardless of how she feels?

Does she have sensory issues that might make this hard for her? Does she struggle with noise or crowds or people brushing against her when thing's are busy? My Autistic DD is a lot more effected by those things now than she was when she was younger. I'd never take her somewhere busy and noisy if she didn't want to go. It's not necessarily just a case of sucking it up for an autistic child. Bored can be the least of it.

No you're alright, I NEVER STOP hearing about it.

Ha, ha, no it is not. Have you ever been out, in the real world?
Get out of your vacuum.

Could you explain this?

One parent stays home. Other parent goes, taking 2 of DS's friends. But I do speak as one who would rather eat wasps than go to HP world. Different if both parents want to go.

This opinion is taking into account ND. In my, NT family, I would have told dd that she needed to go to please her brother-and she would have agreed.

I think she will probably really enjoy it. I'm not a HP fan and when I first went it was years since I had seen the first two movies and I hadn't seen the rest of them. It's such a great day out that I still really enjoyed myself.

Tell us you know nothing about autism ……………….

She’s 15 and still a child. She goes.
Loads of children have to do stuff they don’t want to do, that’s life. Same as when you are an adult and have to endure stuff at work that you hate. It’s one day of her life and it won’t kill her.

I would make her go. On the basis that you are in charge and she is a child, also that she'll enjoy it when she gets there.....and if she doesn't TOUGH.

@Puddingcakes By ‘morals’ do you mean a different opinion to you ? It’s not ‘immoral’ to believe that men can’t just put on a wig and a dress, magically become a woman and invade female spaces.

Could it be that someone at school has said something along these lines though, perhaps making her feel ashamed of going?

What a horrible comment. Did you read OP’s posts detailing the fact that DD has other disabilities and needs care, and also that OP herself i autistic ? Or that DD was still showing interest in HP when the tickets were bought ?

Ask her about JK Rowling. Lots of teens follow the, "She's transphobic and I don't like her" line.

If that's the case then look at what JKR actually said / wrote.

OP has already explained why she can’t stay home.

As a parent of an autistic child I agree with this suggestion. It's a frequent occurrence in my house.

Well OP you're doing well on the vote- not sure why as you're being both unreasonable and selfish.

And yet you said you didn’t take them before because you didn’t fancy it?

I'm sure she will enjoy it when she gets there, it if she liked the books. I really enjoyed it too, just looking at the sets and props that were made for the films was really interesting. If she's worried her friends will think she is too old for it (or it's a rubbish thing to do) she can just say it was a treat for her brother and she had to go too.

I was brought up to understand that taking part in family life meant you didn’t always get your own way or go to everything that fitted in with your exact interests.

The OP's daughter has already learnt that lesson. The OP and her husband spent years and years showing no interest whatsover in their daughter's HP enthusiasm and years and years of being told she couldn't go to the HP experience.

I recommend that if you are still going to go that you & DH watch at least the first film so you can get more out of it to help them enjoy it. It’s very film focussed not book focussed.
A PP has mentioned the Dark Arts theme. It was that when we went. It can be quite scary & intimidating. Don’t want to go into too much detail in case anyone else is going and it’s a spoiler but whilst my DC loved it, I can see others really not. Maybe you’ve looked into all this as you’ve said you have to plan days out more carefully with DCs needs. If you want to DM me about it then happy to go into more detail.
Others have suggested trying to write down reasons why, eg she feels too old, she has issues with JKR, so then you can help to talk her round. It def is an attraction for all ages. If it’s JKR related then you could ask her to explain her feelings but try to explain that the films are different to the books & have so many other influences eg actors, producers, directors, costumer designers.

Dear me.

People mentioned she might be bothered by the fact that you wouldnt go when she wanted to. Your counter point is that you didnt take her because YOU didnt want to.

So she wanted to go. You didn’t. You are both autistic. And you put your preferences about it first.

Now your son wants to go, you can bring yourself to go, even though you will find it boring and you are putting yourself out for your sons preferences first. So yes, her feeling like put out about this light contribute to it. You refusing to go for so long, meaning she couldn’t, but now you doing it because your son wants to is exactly the point people are making. She may feel second best and can’t articulate it.

Between this and the online stuff about JKR and just being a teen, I can see why she doesn’t want to go.

I think most teens go through a phase where anything they liked in childhood is pushed away. They don’t like it, they have outgrown it. Sometimes you then come back to it. I did the same with Disney. Mum loved Disney and we grew up with Disney films on all the time, trips to Disney etc. the. In my late teens it became lame and embarrassing. Then in my twenties I wanted to go again and have been a few times since. My daughter (now 20) did the same with the things she was into. She adored Bear in the big blue house for quite a bit of her childhood. Then It became embarrassing that she ever liked it. Then last Christmas Eve we sat with my other teen and watched the bear in the big blue house Christmas special. It was very nostalgic and we did have a laugh about it. She even jumped up and did one of the dances that she still remembered.

It’s almost like they have to push their childhood away, then when they have achieved that, they like to indulge it a bit.

Honestly, not sure what I would do. I don’t see much value in forcing a teen to do a family day out if they really don’t want to. Usually makes the day a bad day anyway. I would have probably discussed it before I booked it (ds is autistic) but that shipped has sailed. I would, at this point, try and include something she want to do. Dinner somewhere she likes, a stop off on the way or something.

I think you’ve learned not to do surprises. Not everyone is a fan of surprises or days out.

So you and DS spent years not wanting to go to Harry Potter and no one forced you to.
But now your DD doesn't want to go and she's being forced?

You didn't care about her big interests when she was really into it. You've missed the boat with taking her because she wasn't a priority to you. You can't whine that you want a lovely, family experience together at Harry Potter when you've spent years telling your daughter you didn't give a shit about going when she actually wanted to. You had several years where she'd have loved to have this lovely family experience but you decided it wasn't a priority to make it happen.

One of your kids wanted to go and the other didn't, so you didn't go. Potentially fair enough, although a real shame that you couldn't put your wants aside for your child's. But you still have one kid who wants to go and another who doesn't, so why is the default now that everyone is going? No wonder she's annoyed, you're clearly favouring her brother and it's not even subtle.

I agree. In real life I’ve not heard anyway think she’s transphobic.