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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have told DD she has to come to family day out regardless of how she feels?

363 replies

Dawevi · 27/09/2024 22:21

For years DD15 was massively into Harry Potter and was desperate to go to the HP experience. DS10 is quite a few years younger than her and is now into HP and they have played HP games together, DD has dressed DS up, read him the books, etc, and so we decided to book to go as a family. We gave them the tickets months ago as a surprise and DD seemed underwhelmed but wouldn't talk to us about it. She's autistic so we thought she might just be overwhelmed.

It's now in a few weeks and she told me tonight she doesn't want to go. She hasn't really said why and won't talk about it.

AIBU to have told her that we are going and that's it? It's expensive, I'm pretty sure she will enjoy it or at least bits of it once there, and sometimes we just have to do stuff we aren't so keen on, in my opinion. I personally have never read or watched any HP and nor has DH, but I imagine we will find things to enjoy.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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Purplebunnie · 09/10/2024 13:43

I'm glad you all enjoyed it apart from DS being a bit bored. We all went as adults and thoroughly enjoyed it. Even got to open the big doors as it was a big birthday treat for me and DH

Original poster
Dawevi · 09/10/2024 08:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Ok so having now been, I think it's actually pitched much more at older people. It's all about the sets, the costumes, the prosthetics etc, and while younger kids definitely enjoy running round looking at the sets, you get much more from them if you're older and can appreciate the work and detail.

DS enjoyed it a lot but he didn't appreciate it in the way that we did (I love costumes so spent ages looking at those, DD really likes the prosthetics room). We were there five hours, which you definitely couldn't do with a younger child, we saw people with toddlers who frankly must have been bored stiff. It's not a theme park, it's basically a museum with a few, not many, interactive bits.

In fact at times DS was a bit bored because it's a lot of looking at things and he wanted to move on while we were still looking. He liked the actors they had (playing death eaters) and the green screen broomstick riding.

OP posts:
IWantKateGarrawaysHair · 02/10/2024 17:01

Thanks @Catoo will have a read 👍👍

Catoo · 02/10/2024 13:03

IWantKateGarrawaysHair · 02/10/2024 10:29

Despite googling, I have not managed to find where a sum of money is offered to produce anything transphobic that JKR has said.

Does anyone have a link please? I would LOVE to pass it on to my children and get them to actually have to read what she says. Thanks

Is this the one? Distance Magazine offered £1m

www.thedistancemag.com/p/we-will-award-steve-wardlaw-1-million?r=uglk

IWantKateGarrawaysHair · 02/10/2024 10:29

Despite googling, I have not managed to find where a sum of money is offered to produce anything transphobic that JKR has said.

Does anyone have a link please? I would LOVE to pass it on to my children and get them to actually have to read what she says. Thanks

10milliondollars · 01/10/2024 16:16

PiggleToes · 01/10/2024 14:56

I didn’t say you were. Only there are a lot of people on this thread saying she should be forced to go and schooled that JKR is a hero not a villain. I’m advising against taking this advice.

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I'd certainly challenge my dcs to produce the evidence on what JK said - these kids are brainwashed.

Ethylred · 01/10/2024 15:13

As PP have said, one parent goes with your son and you also take two of his friends. As for your daughter, this battle is not worth fighting.

LittleGwyneth · 01/10/2024 15:07

It'll be the terf thing.

PiggleToes · 01/10/2024 14:57

AlllSeeingEye · 01/10/2024 14:13

JK hasn't done anything bad. Ugh kids these days are being brainwashed 😑

Just because someone has different values to you doesn’t mean they have been “brainwashed”.

PiggleToes · 01/10/2024 14:56

Dawevi · 01/10/2024 13:45

Squash her morals? In what way am I doing that? You have no idea how much support I give her in knowing how to make decisions.

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I didn’t say you were. Only there are a lot of people on this thread saying she should be forced to go and schooled that JKR is a hero not a villain. I’m advising against taking this advice.

YankSplaining · 01/10/2024 14:33

AlllSeeingEye · 01/10/2024 14:13

JK hasn't done anything bad. Ugh kids these days are being brainwashed 😑

You’d think it was a question of MeToo accusations or using sweatshop labor, not voicing a view that aspects of trans activism conflict with the rights of biological women.

OP, I just want to say that I think it’s really open-minded of you to let your kids get into Harry Potter even though you have religious beliefs that are adamantly opposed to magic and witchcraft. You sound like a great parent who pays a lot of attention to her kids’ inner lives.

AlllSeeingEye · 01/10/2024 14:13

JK hasn't done anything bad. Ugh kids these days are being brainwashed 😑

Original poster
Dawevi · 01/10/2024 13:45

PiggleToes · 01/10/2024 12:48

Please don’t squash her morals- even if you yourself don’t understand / agree with them. It’s really good that’s she’s learning to form her own opinions about the world and to make decisions in accordance with her own conscience and sense of right and wrong. These are important life skills

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Squash her morals? In what way am I doing that? You have no idea how much support I give her in knowing how to make decisions.

OP posts:
PiggleToes · 01/10/2024 12:48

Dawevi · 30/09/2024 11:26

I've come back to give an update although the thread seems to be getting a bit dramatic!

I've had a chat with DD. I started by saying that we honestly thought it was something she would enjoy and that we wouldn't have booked it otherwise and she says that she knows that and appreciates the thought behind it.

Long story short, it is indeed the JK Rowling thing - she's decided that JK "has done bad things" though she couldn't specify what. (I've said we will talk about that more, I'd like to know what she's thinking along those lines and will unpick it.)

We discussed how the attraction is about the films not the author, that there's plenty she will likely find interesting, and that DD isn't spending her money on it so isn't personally supporting it anyway.

She didn't ask not to come because she knows really that we can't leave her at home, and she says she's discussed it with her best friend who seems to support her going although also feeling that JK is "bad".

So overall pretty positive although there's clearly more talking to be done around the JK bad viewpoint.

Please don’t squash her morals- even if you yourself don’t understand / agree with them. It’s really good that’s she’s learning to form her own opinions about the world and to make decisions in accordance with her own conscience and sense of right and wrong. These are important life skills

Original poster
Dawevi · 30/09/2024 11:54

verysmellyjelly · 30/09/2024 11:38

Is she maybe also worried about using a wheelchair? I'm autistic and a wheelchair user. If she's new to that and doesn't use it all the time she may feel it draws attention to her.

She actually loves using it, I thought she would feel embarrassed but she really loves it because of how much more freedom it gives her to do things.

OP posts:
verysmellyjelly · 30/09/2024 11:38

Is she maybe also worried about using a wheelchair? I'm autistic and a wheelchair user. If she's new to that and doesn't use it all the time she may feel it draws attention to her.

Original poster
Dawevi · 30/09/2024 11:26

I've come back to give an update although the thread seems to be getting a bit dramatic!

I've had a chat with DD. I started by saying that we honestly thought it was something she would enjoy and that we wouldn't have booked it otherwise and she says that she knows that and appreciates the thought behind it.

Long story short, it is indeed the JK Rowling thing - she's decided that JK "has done bad things" though she couldn't specify what. (I've said we will talk about that more, I'd like to know what she's thinking along those lines and will unpick it.)

We discussed how the attraction is about the films not the author, that there's plenty she will likely find interesting, and that DD isn't spending her money on it so isn't personally supporting it anyway.

She didn't ask not to come because she knows really that we can't leave her at home, and she says she's discussed it with her best friend who seems to support her going although also feeling that JK is "bad".

So overall pretty positive although there's clearly more talking to be done around the JK bad viewpoint.

OP posts:
Jumpingthruhoops · 29/09/2024 18:51

MakeHasteMakeHaste · 28/09/2024 03:44

I mean honestly this is the view 99% of people I know have, and they aren't even teenagers. It's the predominant view, even shared by Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson etc.

I don't think it's the predominant view at all. Most teens I know are GC but scared to say their views as the brainwashed shout transphobic. Most adults I know are GC and fully support JK Rowling. She hasn't said anything transphobic, standing up for women's rights isn't transphobic.

This! It might be the predominant view on social media but it certainly isn't in real life. Pretty sure most people support her for having the balls to speak out against the casual eroding of women's rights and women-only spaces. We need more women like her; not fewer!

Arran2024 · 29/09/2024 18:06

As the mother of 2 girls with autism, I would say don't listen to people with no experience of autism on this one! I understand completely where you are coming from. My elder daughter is 26 and we still have to work out days out around her and what she will cope with. Good luck.

itsjustbiology · 29/09/2024 18:01

OP could you say to your DD that you really need her help? Say you were relying on her to be there to explain to ds all the things they would see and experience there as dd knows far more about HP than you ever could? Try some kidology..make her feel superior to you and say you just know she would be a great help and be more fun than you? something like that maybe, may get her enthused if you can make her feel sort of in charge maybe if you get my drift?

Sorenlorrenson · 29/09/2024 17:57

10milliondollars · 29/09/2024 17:23

You should maybe take a breath @Sorenlorrenson you are not coming across well at all - not that I think you care but if you feel you have a worthwhile message to share, you are behaving in a way that suggests you don't practice what you preach.

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No you're correct, I really don't care what most of you think of me ,
And just to let you know it's not me that's doing the preaching on this thread.

Sirzy · 29/09/2024 17:25

Thfrog · 29/09/2024 17:07

At 15 she should have a say on if she goes or not really.

i think in all the debate this is the key point. Autism or not at 15 they should have some level of autonomy over what they do in free time

10milliondollars · 29/09/2024 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You should maybe take a breath @Sorenlorrenson you are not coming across well at all - not that I think you care but if you feel you have a worthwhile message to share, you are behaving in a way that suggests you don't practice what you preach.

Sorenlorrenson · 29/09/2024 17:17

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 29/09/2024 17:04

Your making a fool of your self @Sorenlorrenson

Lol. I'm off to the cinema. Byes

Oh, do hurry back, how will we cope without you.

Thfrog · 29/09/2024 17:07

At 15 she should have a say on if she goes or not really.