To be shocked that 97% of 12 years olds have smart phones?

So again that’s crap parenting.

‘My kids' school has got rid of planners this year and everything is now on an app.’

Our school does use Googleclassroom for homework etc BUT they ban all phone use in school itself.

So no class or teaching in school needs a phone and the punishment for being seen with a phone in the school is immediate detention that day, then phone back after the detention.
Get caught twice the phone is taken and given back in a meeting with a parent & tutor where the issue is discussed…

Yes you can. And I am aware one kid can write a message. Lab blah blah which is why my children didn’t get phone until Secondary and why they are checked regularly at ages 12 and 14.
Open conversation is what needs to happen, my kids both left the whole class grp messages early on because it was ‘spammy’ and they knew THEY would get I trouble or their class mates would for inappropriate stuff on there.
And as for seeing one meme - yes that could happen but again, I would report that, most parents would TBH.
The group chat thing - really is t that much of an issue most of the time. It’s when parents give year 5 and year 6 kids phones and expect them to be mature enough to use them that gets me. They aren’t. And the only issues I knew of with What’s App and the like at school were with the primary aged kids.

@Errors

So you want to have a situation where a 17 year old can drive a car, leave home and have sex, but not have unrestricted access to a smartphone? I have to say that is one of the most ludicrous suggestions I have ever read on here.

Personally I don’t think cliff-edge age restrictions are particularly effective. The current approach to alcohol actually allows gradual introduction for that reason. 16 year olds can have wine or beer with a meal. Many countries with far lower rates of alcoholism than the UK have even looser rules.

I see 18 year olds going off to uni each year and I can tell you the biggest issues certainly don’t arise with those who have gradually been introduced to alcohol previously. They are with DC who have never been allowed a drop and end up off the rails upon gaining independence.

My kids' school has got rid of planners this year and everything is now on an app.

All their homework, communication from teachers and timetables are all on it and the kids all needed to be logged in before September.

I don't know any 12yr olds who don't have a smart phone and most of them had them in Yr 5/6.

I had a lovely conversation with my mother the other day about what age I was the first time she let me go to the nearby shops on my own. I was 8. Of course, there no smart phones then but I found out the other day that she surreptitiously ‘spied’ on me the first time, just to make sure I got there and back safely and that was enough. She knew I was mature enough to do that and I had no idea she had followed me the first time so I got all the confidence that comes with those little freedoms and she got someone to go to the shop for her for a pint of milk 😂

Nowadays, if you saw an 8 year old walking to the shops on their own you’d probably call social services and accuse the parents of neglect.
We’ve got this the wrong way round - less freedom with phones, more freedom in the real world is what’s needed.

@Errors 😬

Not surprised at all. It's standard for kids around here to have phones once they're at the age where they walk to school. Don't think they have Nokia's though.

Absolutely! And knowing where your kid is at every minute of every day doesn’t stop anything bad happening to them. Just shows you where they are… or at least, where their phone is.
It also sends a message to them that you don’t trust them to be able to navigate the real world on their own and it teaches them that the world is a dangerous and unsafe place. Of course, it can be. But not in the overwhelming majority of cases.
Add to that the constant barrage of social media lives, only doing things so you can film them and put them online for the likes, having constant access to your friends inner thoughts and what they think of you, and the potential for seeing explicit and damaging material - I cannot fathom why people can’t see how dangerous they are!

And this great idea to keep them safe while travelling to school.....has also made them a target for muggers. It has absolutely not made them any safer. A mobile phone cannot stop anyone from being mugged or attacked. If they could, I'd be all in!

I agree, save those conversations for the dinner table when they get home when you can have a proper in person interaction with them!

I don’t agree that toddlers should be having them either sat in pushchairs. Hate children sat at restaurant tables with iPads and phone blaring away some pegs pig or whatever.

I do again think covid changed how many younger than year 7 children got phones as it was the way to stay in contact with your friends. The amount of video calls happening.

I dont want my kids messaging me during the school day. They are either in class and should be focused on that or at break and focused on their friends. I really hope your messages back and forth are strictly during breaktime only. Otherwise you are directly contributing to disruption and poor focus in classrooms.

Be very glad you're in that bubble. Before my child's school banned phones (they must be handed in every morning now), the disruption in class was intense. That, plus kids disappearing off to toilets for ages to mess about on phones. Kids and parents messaging each other during class! The disruption was absolutely ridiculous. Smart phones can be set so they switch off between 9 and 3 but no parents were doing that. Maybe a kid who's commuting to school needs a phone if something goes wrong on the commute but I have heard NO convincing argument for a phone of any kind to be required during the school day. As for school trips, how sad it is to see kids on a school trip, faces glued to screens, barely interacting with friends. If parents want to take the risks of phones during evenings and weekends that's up to them I suppose but I am strongly opposed to phones in schools.

It’s common in mines too. A small glass of wine with a meal as a teen takes the mystique out of booze. I had friends who we’re hammering bottles of 20/20 in the park. Vomiting in bushes and indulging in sexual activity from a fairly young age. Oddly enough they often had really strict parents. I’m hoping the teens of today are better behaved.

Let me guess, you also have tracking apps for them and are convinced if they go out in to the world without them they will spontaneously combust because the real world is scary and bad but the online world is safe and secure?

I agree. But what about his friends? They also aren’t being parented well are they? So it doesn’t stop him from having 300 odd WhatsApp’s going on about god knows what once he wakes up, does it?

It's ridiculous how some of you go off.

Do you not have older kids? If you do I feel sorry for them.

I have a 12 and 14 year old and they've had iPhones for about 4 years.

Please look up Jonathan Haidt. It’s not poorly evidenced at all.
And yes, we all went a little crazy when we got freedoms when we were young (although I never shagged in a graveyard!) but those real world freedoms are necessary. They build resilience.

I don’t disagree but there is a world of difference between letting them try your beer or having a very small glass of wine and letting them get pissed to see where their tolerance is.

I don’t completely hide phones away from my child. He picks music on it and sends texts to his dad. I don’t disagree that some exposure is a good idea before having free reign at 16 but nowhere near as much as they get now!

Maybe in your family it is 😂

I think they already are emerging.

I went to a school sports day recently and nearly every toddler in a pushchair had their face in an iPad. They should have been watching all that was going on around them, watching other adults interact with each other, watching their siblings competing with each other. It was sad to see.

Ditto the bloke having a pint with his mates down the pub at 9pm with his less than two year old propped up watching fucking cocomelon on his phone.

I hope more schools move in this direction. I do know 12 year olds with bricks and my own year 8 child has no phone at all. And so far, so good. But vast vast majority still have smart phones. I'm hoping for change.

I don’t believe it’s that high.

You wouldn’t start giving increasing amounts of alcohol to a teen so that they don’t go crazy when they’re legally allowed to drink at 18 would you?!

Its a pretty standard approach to introduce a bit of alcohol pre18.