Honestly, some people must exhaust themselves trying to sanitise the internet to make it a 'just perfect' personal read 🙄

It's ridiculous how many posters expect to be able to come here, and silence what are predominantly women's opinions.

I am in a very similar situation to you OP, but 10 years older, and I can say - yes - it does get easier. You can come to terms with it. I think I naturally found it a little easier as my fertility came to an end - it wasn't even an option then. I also focus on all the things I can do which would be difficult with a family. I live a rich, full, independent life with many interests and friends.
There will always be a small sadness there, but it is very much less.

@Rickrolypoly wind your neck in.

Many, many people feel strongly against IVF for a multiple of reasons (including playing god and against nature etc, as well as the massive risk to the woman in terms of increased cancer risks and future health concerns - never the bloke having treatment to improve his sperm is it? When more time than not it will be crap sperm quality or undiagnosed immune conditions causing the infertility anyway).

The OPs is a personal reason. Who are you to police someone else's language? If you don't like reading it, go be offended somewhere else.

I'm sorry for hear you are sad about this situation. I'm a single parent to a 5 month old and it's hard but seeing her smile everyday makes it worth it. I think the main thing you need to consider is whether you want a partner or a partner and family.. for example would you be happy to be with someone and not have children or is children something that you want and it's making you sad.

The world has a way of making things that you think impossible, possible and you never know what the future holds. I know it's easy to say but keep hope that one day you are going to be happy and content with your situation.. whether that's on your own, with a partner, child etc.

Please don't feel down or sad.. I wish you happiness x

Gosh, can everyone stop telling the OP she can have fertility treatment when she's been clear it's not for her?

OP, the childfree board might be the place for a less frustrating discussion than AIBU.

Can't edit my post, just wanted to say sorry for the thread derailment OP. Hope you find some solace and good advice on the other forum.

No, she said that she doesn't believe in IVF as if it was meant for "you" then it would happen. And I was not berating her FFS, I simply suggested that maybe she be careful with her phrasing because that can be hurtful for some people who are struggling with infertility. Calm down, the OP has already noted it and I've responded directly to her. Really not sure why everyone else is getting annoyed on her behalf when she's not annoyed herself.

Rick.

The OP was answering a direct question about herself. Stop berating the OP for her reply.

Choosing not to have IVF is absolutely fine. What I was referring to was saying that you don't agree with it because infertility should just be accepted as some sort of "fate".

If you find it helpful to think this way (if it was meant then it would happen), then perhaps you can view not having children as the universe having other plans for you. You were meant to be a great friend / godparent / auntie; you were meant to have a great career; you were meant to have freedom to travel and experience the world… obviously depends on who you are, what you value, what your circumstances are etc, but try to refocus on the good things that are destined to be in your future.

Grieving a future you hoped for and expected is really painful. Finding people irl going through something similar can really help.

IVF is not the same as using donated sperm

"Thank you. I don't agree with IVF as I believe if it was meant for you then it would happen.
I know that may seem silly but it's how I feel.
Plus I don't want to be a single mum."

You see the thing is OP, it's a modern world now and IVF is available but it's not guaranteed, so if it's 'not meant to happen' by your belief, then it still won't happen as it won't work. It's like saying you wouldn't allow a c section or medical help in pregnancy because if the baby is meant to be it will be. It just doesn't make any sense.

IVF is not AID. One is In-Vitro Fertilisation, the other is Artificial Insemination by Donor.

I'm a decade older than you and don't have children in similar circumstances, I remember my late thirties and early forties being really painful, because it just didn't happen and I was very sad about it. I have the same issue with IVF, no judgement for people that do have it, it just wasn't for me. I found other meaningful things to do and I worked really hard to remind myself of the good things and people that I did have in my life. I have a faith which helps me because I believe in a bigger plan for my life. I have 6 godchildren and am a village for my friends and family with children, but it was really difficult for a while, because despite what others thought (and said) I didn't want those children, they had parents, I wanted my own. I did consider adoption or fostering but being single meant I couldn't afford a mortgage or rent for a house big enough. Now experiencing menopause and a mother that needs more care, I'm almost grateful that I don't also have to deal with children on top of that. It takes time to come to terms with it, be kind to yourself.

I am in your position but decided having kids isn't for me.
I have health issues and wouldn't want future kids to share that or my looks or personality. I also am terrified of the idea of pregnancy and birth.
Harder for you as you do actually want kids. No advice but I know it can be hard to feel the odd one out. X

Of course anyone who feels it is allowed to say it, that's what freedom of speech is for...

However people are allowed to take offence at it and state that. I don't see anything wrong with asking the OP to consider taking more care with how she phrases things, whether she chooses to consider it is up to her.

Anyone who feels that is allowed to say it.

This is the internet, and any adult using it knows there will be differing opinions on it 🙄

I also refused IVF. Because my chances were appalling aged just 34 and the cost was also appalling. I'm married FWIW, DH is infertile, I'm fine.

IMO being in £100k debt (like my friends who are still having no joy despite umpteen rounds) is no way to start life as a parent. I'd never ever say that to them though.

Just like I'd never tell someone they should have IVF.

IMO it's an incredibly intrusive and painful process for women with poor % of a positive outcome and especially now there's then legal ramifications from donated sperm now the law has changed.

Come join us on the Childfree board.

Fewer people offering tropes of IVF, adoption and fostering like it's a trip to Tesco.

Plenty of us have had to learn to live a life without the children we always wanted. You are not alone and there is nothing wrong with living your life without spending money you don't have on pipedreams

“simply trying to let the OP know that she could be more mindful with how she phrases things.”

🙄🤦‍♀️

To be fair, you said

I've not dated much

Hi OP. Yes you can come to terms with a life without children even if you wanted them. I tried IVF and it didn’t work. I’m 63 and I’m at peace and content with my life. That said I do have a husband. I was able to retire at 58 and DH and I have done loads of travelling and lots more to come.

I would second having a look at the MNers without children forum

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters