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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think a three year old can’t do this?

232 replies

shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 16:40

Ds finishes preschool at 3. I don’t get home until 4.

DH thinks ds can just watch tv and entertain himself (dh wfh Fridays) I think he’s too young, what do others think?

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/09/2024 21:47

Your DH needs to take him lunchbreak form 3-4 on Fridays to care for his son

Goodluckanddontfitup · 27/09/2024 21:47

I think it depends on the situation. No work calls and basically just moving the mouse around occasionally to appear as though working while actually playing with DS, yeah ok for an hour. Working and basically leaving DS to his own devices, no. It will depend on the child obviously but my 3yo DS sounds like yours, he’s high energy and needs constant supervision or he will get into all kinds of dangerous mischief! And if I let him nap after nursery, not a chance he is asleep at any sort of sensible time in the evening.

Sallyanne92 · 27/09/2024 21:46

Yes I think for a maximum of an hour, I had to do this a few years ago with my 3 year old, I just had his snacks and show on, I sat in a adjoining room so I could see him, I also left out drawing, puzzles etc it wasnt that big a deal

Nottodaythankyou123 · 27/09/2024 21:44

shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 21:40

@Nottodaythankyou123 i guess it’s just if sooner not come back to a hovel and have to cook a dinner for DS, I do feel like this decision has impacted me most.

But what’s that got to do with that hour? I think I’m just struggling to see how in a household where everyone’s operating fairly 50/50, how one hour of DS having downtime causes you so much extra work. It’s absolutely not a dig at you - more that your DH needs to step up in other ways if it’s honestly having that much. He could cook dinner while you tidy up or vice versa. That random hour on a Friday shouldn’t mean all cooking and cleaning all week falls on you!

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/09/2024 21:43

FlingThatCarrot · 27/09/2024 19:10

My firstborn would absolutely not move from the TV. We don't have much screen time so when we do he's absolutely enthralled. My 2nd born would get bored after 20mins and be emptying cupboards.

Also huge difference between just turned 3 and a nearly 4yo.

Seconded.

NQOCDarling · 27/09/2024 21:42

ThatMakesSense · 27/09/2024 16:47

Your DH lives in CloudCooCooLand

Predictive text?!!

Original poster
shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 21:40

@Nottodaythankyou123 i guess it’s just if sooner not come back to a hovel and have to cook a dinner for DS, I do feel like this decision has impacted me most.

OP posts:
WhereAreAllTheOddSocks · 27/09/2024 21:40

All 4 of mine would or just played in the playroom , sorry I meant tipped everything out in the playroom.
They were all quite good at entertaining themselves.

JustMarriedBecca · 27/09/2024 21:39

OMG we homeschooled a 5 year old and had a 3 year old in the house whilst we both worked. Did everyone forget COVID?

It would be absolutely fine.

I'd set up an activity or open ended play like Duplo and let them play for half an hour.

Nottodaythankyou123 · 27/09/2024 21:38

shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 21:36

To be fair DS doesn’t do anything terrible although he does seem to have torn some wallpaper a bit, it was coming loose anyway but I think he has pulled it. It’s just the mess, and cooking, and tidying …

Sounds less a DS at home thing and more a DH generally not pulling his weight. If he’s WFH can he not do a quick tidy up on his lunch break, stick a load of washing on while he makes a coffee, shove some stuff in a slow cooker when he would otherwise be commuting?! I appreciate you say it’s a cause of stress for you but sounds like your focusing your stress on that one hour causing issues when actually it’s the remaining hours in DH’s day that are the problem!

Original poster
shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 21:36

To be fair DS doesn’t do anything terrible although he does seem to have torn some wallpaper a bit, it was coming loose anyway but I think he has pulled it. It’s just the mess, and cooking, and tidying …

OP posts:
mindutopia · 27/09/2024 21:36

I mean, I got through many an hour of working from home and having meetings during lockdown with my then 2 year old shoved in front of the tv 8 hours a day. It’s not the most productive way to do it, but as long as he’s not having meetings and won’t get in trouble, then I think it would be possible, yes, just not ideal.

Pingpongglitch · 27/09/2024 21:35

Has he not learned that a silent child in another room is a baaad thing yet?

Original poster
shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 21:34

Surprised at these kids who would nap … wouldn’t that make an utterly hellish bedtime if they fell asleep at 3? DS dropped the nap at around two and nine months, he hasn’t habitually slept in the day for over a year now.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 27/09/2024 21:33

As long as your husband has your son in eye and ear shot, I don't see a problem. It's only one a week.

Bellaphant · 27/09/2024 21:32

My ds turned five over the summer and had only the last few weeks of last term had I been able to pick him up from school, settle him with a snack and tv and then do an hour of work. No way would it have worked before that.

AllThePotatoesAreSingingJingleBells · 27/09/2024 21:32

My very recently turned 4 year old would happily sit and watch TV for as long as I would allow from being around 2.

I will not be able to say the same for his younger sister.

HMW1906 · 27/09/2024 21:30

My 3 year old would probably fairly happily sit and watch tv for an hour if he got the chance.

SpaghettiBolognesi · 27/09/2024 21:28

Can you DH be in the same room as DS, are you talking about one singular hour?

If yes, DH can be in same room, DS van watch movie and have popcorn.

Or have I missed something?

yipyipyipp · 27/09/2024 21:27

Mine is 4 and he would have sat and watched to for an hour at that age without doing anything silly.

LuluBlakey1 · 27/09/2024 21:26

DS1 would not have watched tv for an hour, nor would DD, not at 3. DS2 would have happily napped for an hour. DS1 and DD might have settled with some snacks and a drink and some paper and crayons but DH would have had to be in the room watching them and talking to them
Can he not start work an hour earlier, work through his lunch/part of it and finish at 3 on a Friday?

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 27/09/2024 21:25

shakemyheadatyou · 27/09/2024 20:12

I think it’s just the general stress for me, as I have to

do his breakfast
make his lunch
pack bags with waterproofs etc

then come home and do dinner, the house is a tip, ds is in a daft mood as he’s been ignored and have I mentioned the house is a tip?!

Show quote history

If your DH works from home why the F isn’t he doing some of those jobs or at least clearing up breakfast things on his lunch break?! The mind boggles…..

MrsSunshine2b · 27/09/2024 21:25

What kind of job does DH do? I can watch DD whilst WFH because my job is quite flexible and low stress. DH had a job a while ago that involved being on the phone 9-5 Mon-Fri with 2 set 15 min breaks and 1 30 min break per day. There's no way he could have had DD at home.

blacksax · 27/09/2024 21:24

ThatMakesSense · 27/09/2024 16:47

Your DH lives in CloudCooCooLand

It's cloud cuckoo land.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 27/09/2024 21:23

depends on your DH job and the 3 year old. Can your DH have a quiet hour and make the time up later? For example I could knock off at 3pm on most Fridays but would likely spend an hour catching up on Sunday evening before Monday.

My 3 year old would probably do an hour of peppa pig with snacks but I wouldn’t be able to do any calls, due to potentially needing to run him to the loo or clearing up spills etc, wiping mucky hands. You just can’t predict it. And I would have to stay in same room.