To think a three year old can’t do this?

@shakemyheadatyou Firstly let me assure you you're not going mad - and if your son is like mine you'll eventually stop assuming he'll ever tire himself out haha it's hard work but normal :)

Forgive my bluntness but your husband sounds very selfish and needs to step up his game. His son should come first above work. I don't know what your husband does but if he can't manage an hour of his day around child care needs and can't manage to intersperse a moment here and there to do household chores while he works then I doubt he has the competence to be doing anything all that high level.

((Me > Father. Works from home. Does all the housework in the natural breaks we all find during the day.))

If it was me, I would return home at 4, collect DS, put him straight in the car, drive to nearest supermarket cafe or similar and feed both children there. Much cheaper than private nursery, and probably similar standard of food nonetheless.

Then pick up an easy dinner that can just be shoved straight in the oven for myself and DH in the supermarket and drive home.

Meanwhile DH has time to finish work calls and tidy up at home.

Yep your DH needs to pull his weight properly in a Friday if he wants to save money that much.

He needs to get up early, start work early so he can takes to clear up after breakfast, do dinner prep in his lunch break and finish work on time/early to clear up this huge mess your DC seem to make in that hour.

Your DH can't have it all ways. Morning at pre-school afternoon at nursery?

Someone will - aslong as you’re upfront, I ask my cleaners to iron and change beds. They often hate ironing but the you find a diamond who is happy to help!

Think (as I said) you need to have a conversation with DH

Tell him this new plan is not working

Tell him he needs to pick up the slack on the Friday while he's wfh.

He can sort DS breakfast/packed lunch. He should be clearing up breakfast dishes. And could easily have something started for tea.
My dh will walk around the house and potter while in less important work calls. The time he'd normally be commuting he can do house stuff.

It has to work for you both and if you are the one picking up the slack from his decision it's not fair - moaning in here isn't going to change things. You need to talk to him. Tell him if it doesn't improve then DS will have to go to nursery on a Friday.

Dh could prep the dinner at lunchtime then it's just a reheat job in the evening. Leave the mess. Once both in bed, you and dh tidy up

Why are you cleaning up after your DS? If he makes a mess during your DH's time looking after him, he can clean it up.

To be honest, it sounds like DH is trying to save money by increasing your load and is acting like a self-centred prick. He could do more around the house by the sound of things. Time to put your foot down about him putting so much on you?

After an activity like pre school, my DC would all manage a period of R&R that didn't require much input and would happily watch a film for an hour. By the time the pick up and journey home is done, you're probably talking 45 minutes, so in theory it could work. However it's certainly not something I'd be banking on if my ability to be on a teams meeting depended on it, though I'd probably manage if I was doing some work I could interrupt if required.

@shakemyheadatyou

you don't think it's worth it?

then what are your other options?

you didn't answer what the house was like pre September with just DH home??

Also - tell dh that DS will have to go to nursery unless he does the packed lunch and breakfast on the day he WFH. He's not got the commute etc so has time to do it.

Can you meal prep so that there's something quick to make on a Friday when you get in? Or slow cooker something on a Friday?

Get a cleaner?

What is the alternative of dh is working? And you are working?

Either dh needs to not schedule meetings in that hour and just sit and do emails etc where he can keep an eye on things?

Not ideal but doable

This is how we survived lockdown after all

To be fair my middle kid would've been fine with this. My eldest and youngest would've been a completely different story!

DS was a duracell child, like you said, the more he did the more he got fired up. Just wanted to reassure you it gets easier! We did have to work on winding down with colouring in and such like. By his teens people tell were telling us what a lovely, polite child we had.

This.

Of course he is , he is doing fuck all! He is leaving is son to his own devices and leaving his wife to cook, clean and actually parent their child!!!

Could your DH eat lunch at his desk and then take a break from 3 until you get home, so he can watch DS? Possibly only doing quietish things or maybe even a bit of TV, so DH could keep one eye on his work emails or send messages over teams/slack if needed? It's Friday afternoon, is DH's work that busy anyway?

Clearly everyone's job is different, but my DH and I have managed the odd afternoon with one of us working like that and it's been OK.

I guess it depends what the alternative is?

DH is obviously happy with the current arrangement and you're not. What is it you'd prefer/what are the options? That DS was in childcare for longer? DH finished work earlier?

Even in those scenarios would the breakfast stuff still be out from the morning and you'd still have dinner to make? If so, the additional part from the current arrangement is the mess that your DS makes in that hour?

Obviously not ideal but you need to weigh that up against the alternatives

Yes a 3 yo and he will be with his father. The father will be working from home at the time and I guess op is wondering how feasible it is that her husband will actually get peace to work.