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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel going to work night out

32 replies

EllieThirsk · 27/09/2024 16:03

My employer has given everyone money towards a meal out with their department as a thank you.

My department booked an activity for a Friday evening in November instead of a meal and the venue is 2.5 hrs away from where I live. We will pay for our own dinner/drinks while there plus transport getting there/home. I looked at hotels but they are £200+ for the night so a colleague offered me their spare room which I agreed to.

Now reality is hitting and I don't particularly want to go. I'm mid 40s if that makes a difference. In retrospect, I would have preferred a meal out somewhere central to everyone although we weren't given that option.

AIBU to say I'm no longer going? It won't impact anyone else but I'll look flaky as have cancelled in the past due to social anxiety, I know I shouldn't be bothered about what others think but it does play on my mind.

OP posts:
SLeanne · 27/09/2024 16:12

As it's a thank you evening out, and not a team building obligatory thing, I would say don't go if you are not comfortable with it.

TakingTheLowRoad · 27/09/2024 16:11

I have a personal policy against attending any work social events. I say no to all requests, politely and with no explanation. And I certainly wouldn't be spending my own time and money to attend one! It's great, after you refuse a couple no one expects you to attend anyway Grin

Hadalifeonce · 27/09/2024 16:10

If you need to explain, I would just say that you would have preferred to go for the dinner the funds were meant for.

Teeheehee1579 · 27/09/2024 16:09

No is not a full sentence - in really life saying no without any explanation sounds rude. I do think though that a 5 hour round trip OR having to stay somewhere is too much. I would make up an excuse and get out of it.

SauviGone · 27/09/2024 16:09

I wouldn’t go anyway - imagine having to pay hundreds of pounds for dinner, drinks, transport and a hotel to spend time doing an “activity” with the people you are with all day every day at work.

No thanks.

Who took the unilateral decision to take the money which was supposed to be spent on dinner and spent it on an activity instead?

AdultChildQuestion · 27/09/2024 16:07

No, try not to worry about what everyone else thinks. Just say you can no longer go as you have to be elsewhere early the next morning or something. Sounds grim to me, staying with a colleague!

DaisyChain505 · 27/09/2024 16:05

You don’t need to have a long list of reasons to give for why you’re not longer attending.

No is a full sentence.

stop worrying about what other people think of you and do what works for you.