To cancel going to work night out

but why on earth did none of you say anything at the time if you didn't really want to do it?
I don't understand how the conversation went, how it started 'company are paying for us to go for a meal locally,' and ended up 'no lets go go-karting 2 and a half hours away and pay for our own food and drinks and transport?'

Yes it was a bit cheeky of the 1st person to suggest the alternative, but you're all adults working a job professional enough to get rewarded, it would only have taken 1 other person to go 'No I don't fancy that, let's stick with the original plan seeing as it's a reward for all of us and if you want to go-karting we can organise it separately.'
If you all nodded and went along with person 1 you're as much to blame as them and tbh it's a bit rude to back out now.

I wouldn't go - it's a long way, a lot of time/money and an activity you're not especially keen on doing.

I would just say you have looked at logistics and it isn't going to work for you.

I don't go on work nights out - usually hideous affairs that are best avoided.

It's ok not to go, but for the sake of office-politics, I'd make up an excuse that can't be resolved (needy relative / tickets for something...) so your colleagues don't feel like they're being snubbed. Yes it was a bit crap of them to organise things this way, but they probably thought it would be fun, so there's not much to be gained from making it clear that they've ballsed-up. Then next time, find a diplomatic way of steering them into something more practical at the planning stage.

You're giving oodles of notice so I don't think you'll come over as flakey.

None of this is your fault and you shouldn't be feeling bad about it. Just say you would have enjoyed the meal out that was originally going to happen, but the 'activity' is not something you enjoy so you won't be going.

@EllieThirsk you can’t be the only person who thinks this is awful

also wonder what HR think.

Don’t go. Most work do’s are best avoided. 🙄

I'd be a bit fed up if I was the employer. They gave money for a nice meal (which was a nice, kind idea) not for someone's idea of a jolly which will cost a lot of time, money and effort.

God no. I don't know anyone who would want to do that. I wouldn't be able to myself because I have a child and I'm sure others feel the same for whatever reason. What a total and utter waste of money that was meant to be used for something nice for you all.

We were given money to.spend on a fun treat for the team, ours is during the work day, closer to some people's homes than the office, starts later.than work so we have an.hour to do what we want with & finishes earlier than usual so we have an hour or so free then too. We could probably clAim our mileage back of it is further than the office.
That's an actual treat!! I wouldn't have ever agreed to yours but then it would never have been decided upon either

I think they have been very unreasonable suggesting this arrangement. It should be something which is all covered by the company budget.

I remember years ago briefly joining a company with a highly unprofessional manager. She hadn't a clue what she was doing and bar me, had surrounded herself with a team of very young inexperienced blokes. I hated working there.

She had just broken up with her fiancé when I joined the team and began organising lots of 'team nights' out. I was told it was important to build morale. She openly disliked me and made no effort to speak to me in work where we could, potentially have built morale.

As I lived and worked in the city anyway and was out regularly I had no big objection to joining in for a quick drink after work before going to my own commitments. I always received criticism but paid no attention. What I found most ridiculous was that she would invite her sister along and get so drunk so fast that any kind of morale building was impossible. She could often not speak or stand up within the first hour.

Just before I announced my departure two 'weekends away' had been announced.

The first was to her home town. The plans were excitedly announced. We were all going to be going on the train. We would all take a half day from our own holiday allowance so we could spend the afternoon drinking ourselves into a stupor then could go out to all her local haunts. We would then stay in her parent's house. I, as the only other woman on this prestigious trip would be sharing a bed with her. This would all be funded by ourselves.

The second trip was a prize for hitting a team target. We were going to a city in Europe, flights paid for. We would have to find the hotels etc ourselves. We were all going to have the time of our lives in the lap dancing clubs.

I contributed absolutely nothing to the plans then when asked directly said "no, I won't be going thank you."

Absolute weirdo.

God no! I wouldn't consider going to that for a second.

I doubt that you are the only person having second thoughts when the cost and logistics sink in. Most people won’t have thought all that through when they agreed to it. I wouldn’t be going.

If you said you should go, you should follow through

If you didn't want to go, then you should have said so at the outset

Erm there's no way I'd go to this. I don't even join in the local works outings let alone ones that are far away and cost a lot. I happen to work with these people but don't wish to spend my spare time with them. You are definitely not unreasonable to forget about this night out.

They should have just given you the money as a bonus instead, or bought you all the same appropriate gift.

Something that ends up costing you more money isn't a gift or a thank you, it's like when companies email you a birthday "gift" that turns out to be a 20% discount off your next order.

Yeah don't go I think the department should have made a different decision. Cost of living and all. Just say no ta

Nah! I prob wouldn't be bothered going.

I wouldn't be attending a work event 2.5 hours away without food or transport being provided outside of work hours. I suspect you're not the only one reluctant to do so.

Don’t go to something that you don’t want to. Simple as that

This. What a stupid idea and I’d be surprised if more people weren’t irritated by this. I’d decline to go and state quite simply that you can’t afford the expense and time of doing the activity. They may come to their sense and change it to something else

Are you not interested in doing the activity? Or is it that you don't want to stay with your colleague?

I think I would be fairly truthful and say that while you appreciate your colleague's kind offer of a room, the distance and money for a meal, drinks and travel is way out of your budget.