To feel slightly suspicious of dp

What about when he goes to his parents not early in the morning? Is that definitely where he’s going all the time?

1. Who the hell are these other women other posters have caught their men at it with early in the morning 😐
2. What is op's man up to 🤔

But yes it certainly sounds like something funny is going on and that his parents will happily cover for him if it is!

Is his mum cooking him a nice breakfast?

The timing alone doesn’t necessarily indicate that it’s not another woman
My Ex was seeing a work colleague and their cover to me and her husband was that they had been told they had to start work earlier. He was leaving at around 6.45am as opposed to closer to 8.30.

Not the point of the thread I know but OP I wouldn’t be happy with this - him just taking your baby up there, building the relationship but you’re outside of it?

Can’t you see how that’s going to pan out? Are they - and he - eventually going to be telling your son that no, this family with granny and grandad doesn’t include mummy, we don’t talk to her? Your dp is ok with that - with sitting on the fence instead of standing up for you?

What’s he going to say when your DS starts asking these questions? Is his mum going to start to undermine you and slag you off to your child and will he stand up for you if she does?

He’s only one. I’d rethink how this is going to work longer term and the dysfunctional effect this could have on your child, before you start the world of birthday parties, holidays, christmases…

yes id be suspicious.

No need to follow him just find out where the car goes.

Where the car goes, he goes

Follow him, track him, ask his dad why he’s starting so early..

I'd find his suspicious, yes.

I'd either follow him or ask someone else to. You'll get your answer and can move on.

Imagine this though. You would just be a vagina in a room : (

Have you asked him what he's doing for an hour+ every morning at his parents house? Apart from changing his clothes. Does he wear clean clothes for work every day (you say he comes home filthy and I could understand his mum not wanting him sitting around in mucky gear)? If he was helping his parents in their house or garden would he mention that?

Absolutely this. My ex used to book a hotel room for his OW, she’d stay over and he’d go and see her for sex about 8am for an hour before work. That continued for 4 years, and I never suspected because I thought he was just going to work.

OP, hopefully it might be something really innocent but don’t ignore it or it’ll drive you crazy. He’s hiding something, do whatever it takes to find out what it is.

Does he have an iPhone? You can see on the ‘find my’ iPhone app where he’s going if you want to.

but also added "it doesn't mean I'll find someone else to do it with I just wish we done it more often"

Someone who wasn't thinking of finding someone else wouldn't say that.

I don't think it's too early at all. My ex used to go to one of his OW at 5am on his way home from work. He'd pop in there for around 30 mins then leave.

I would be very suspicious of this OP. Air tag or follow him.

I used to live opposite a woman who's husband drove out one end of the road as her lover drove in the other end. I asked the NDN if what I thought I was looking at was actually what I was looking at and she said yes, it;s been going on for 18 months.

In a weird twist, went on to work for the lover for seven years and despite being married with kids my age, he was at it at every opportunity and with various women but this one remained his long standing mistress.

If he wants to make space for someone else, he will find a way to do so I believe so you have to follow him or track him so you actually know.

A change like this with lame as fuck excuses like his would make me angry to be honest. He's taking the piss.

@Gymnopedie has got it spot on. Trust your gut because it's so obvious he's upto no good

No but he could be using prostitutes.

I had an ex who worked for his dad, he would get ready for work everyday and come home ‘after work’. Took his dad 3 months to tell me he’d not been going to work, turns out he was spending all day at another woman's house! Not suggesting this is what is going on here but trust your gut and press him if its making you feel uncomfortable!

Do you have a 24 hour casino near you? If you do could he be gambling?

The other night he brought it up to me and said we don't have much sex anymore but also added "it doesn't mean I'll find someone else to do it with I just wish we done it more often"

Ah. Why even bother to bring up the idea that he wouldn't find anyone else? A case of 'Methinks he doth protest too much'.

I said "I'm always tired" which I am. I'm anemic and have folic acid deficiency 🤣. And his reply was "i don't know how you're tired when we have sex you just lay there" meaning he's always on top. We average to have sex 1-3 times a week. Which is okay but it used to be 5/6 times a week before baby obviously.

Yup. He's preparing the scene to tell you it's your fault he's having an affair.

Added to the early starts I think he's practically telling you what's happening.

This, /\ also use your eyes and your nose, if he is being vague, you be more vigilant.

Another vote for waking your baby up early one day and driving past his parents house to see if he is actually there. Baby will survive being woken early for once.

It seems a bit weird, but as others say it's too early for an affair. Especially if he's not even showering before going out. I guess there's a slim chance he could be seeing a sex worker? They probably do take clients early before work. I just can't see an affair partner choosing to do stuff with someone that early in the morning?
Is he funny with his phone?
The other thing is he could've been fired and changed jobs but you claim he definitely still works for his dad. To be honest the only way you'll know for sure is to follow him and see if he really is going to his parents house for that length of time before work.

This won’t score me any points but when I was much younger and immature I was seeing a married man and often used to see him before work!

I think you’re right actually. Scratch that idea then.

Regarding people saying him having an affair before work isn’t likely, there was a thread here a while ago from the ‘OW’ and the husband used to visit her before work. I hope this isn’t the case for OP and her baby. Somehow you need to find out without him knowing in case it’s innocent.