To feel slightly suspicious of dp

That's exactly what I thought. I hope not though.

My bet is that Mumsy has told him what a terrible wife you are for not making him a fry up every day so he goes there instead! Adds up if he’s also anti gym/ scathing of a healthy lifestyle

Yep, my ex h said he had to go in early and stay overnight for due diligence..

Yeah sorry should have been clear. Who entertains a man in their house for sec every day at 7am, and if they do, they don’t have kids.

@theemmadilemma This is so true! My EXH DPs knew he was having an affair for ages before I did. They didn't say a word, despite me seeing his DM most days!

I don’t think it’s too out there that he may be meeting someone at 7am for sex but I do think it’s weird that someone would have an affair for an hour a day 5 days a week and they’ve found someone who would settle for that!

But then another poster said her husband was having an affair for half an hour a day (sorry to that poster, that’s awful), so maybe it’s not that unusual!

I mean people do strange shit, but shagging at 7 am is way out there,

Mine was like that - it’s a blessing most of the time but can be a curse, especially with nap times pushed later and sometimes not getting her into bed for the night until midnight.

@wwyt

Would his parents abet his cheating on you? Even if I detested a DiL I would still never countenance or 'assist' my son cheating on her. If he was that unhappy, I'd probably tell him to get a divorce, but I'd never help him to cheat.

If DP does go into his parent's house, would your friend be able to 'hang out' for a half hour or so to see if he leaves alone for a second (not work) destination? If his parents would abet him, they may be allowing him to clean up there then scoot off to 'wherever'.

Bugger. I want a full English now

This was exactly my thought!
Both my DH and his father would absolutely change getting-up habits for this, and then say they were going for a run/ to the 8am communion service (seriously, and it was an excuse used for a fry up).

To be honest OP, quite aside from whether or not he is having an affair, I don’t see how this can ever be a fully healthy, trusting relationship.

for whatever reason, you have no relationship with his closest family. He is obviously close to his parents but you have no contact with them. That for me is such a red flag I don’t really see how the relationship can work. People might disagree but you are clearly lacking trust for his AND his entire family - you feel like they might all be colluding against you.

Im so sorry (especially as you share a child) but I think this relationship is probably doomed.

If the relationship between you and his parents is not good, he may feel torn and they may have been pushing it with him. His compromise may have been to go see them on a morning, in the knowledge that you will be at home with the baby and then he can come home to you on a night without losing time with you, his family. Maybe not said anything as he doesn't want to rock the boat,

You have said your intention was always to marry, how have the wedding plans been coming along? Anything said about this lately? Maybe he is working secret overtime to pay for something, maybe your wedding or a special treat.

But in my heart of hearts, I have to say it does sound strange, as its very early to leave given the history and clothes situation.

I have always said to follow your instincts and follow the detail. I think I would also be tailing him, when your mate does, don't just see him into his parents house, ask her to wait around if she can and see what he does next?

Please update us as I am now very invested in this! I hope it has the best possible outcome for you!

How very patronising of you. I didn't say they wouldn't cover for him if asked. I was working on the premis that most peoples go to wouldn't be "Dad I'm cheating on the missus and you're my alibi" when there are easier lies to tell.

Also is there any chance him and your best friend could be having an affair? It would be horrible to have her come back and say no he's not cheating to then find out he was with her.

Please don't think it can only be him cheating on you. There can be a legitimate reason for him to not be telling you something... like some cash in hand work. I do realise that's unlikely but it's not impossible.

I know! It doesn't make any sense.

Oh dear.
So the possibility of an affair is actually in your mind anyway.

This sounds the depths of sleaze 😢.

@Gymnopedie has it right, I think.

Sorry that was meant to say "get up and dressed into home/normal clothes" then work clothes somewhere else.

Sorry OP but this is so weird, how on earth is it easier to get up and dressed in work clothes plus expensive watch, drive 5 minutes down the road to parents house and then change into work clothes there? Why would anyone realistically do that? Wear normal clothes for 5 minutes then get changed again?

And for people saying who wouldn't and affair that early in the morning, if you're having an affair you see each other whenever you can, whatever time of day.

I'm so sorry OP it doesn't look good. Pleased you have a friend supporting you with this.

I agree with this. His mum is rude to OP but she lets her DP take their baby to see her MIL multiple times a week. She is excluded from the family and now her DP is acting suspiciously. As her ILs don't like the OP, they would probably encourage their son to cheat on and leave the OP.

He’s definitely doing something that requires him not to be in his work clothes. Or which he doesn’t want to be in his work clothes for.

Or he's going somewhere for coffee/ breakfast and fancies someone there and hopes the expensive watch / excess of spray will catch their attention?

Not an expensive watch though and surely nobody’s impressed by excessive aftershave/perfume etc?

Definitely suspicious! I’d be doing the same. Well done to your friend for stepping up to get an answer for you.