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AIBU?

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To feel slightly suspicious of dp

969 replies

wwyt · 27/09/2024 11:36

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

OP posts:
curtaintwitcher78 · 28/09/2024 16:13

AngelicKaty · 28/09/2024 16:10

Really? Seriously? I mean there are people who are nuts enough to make up a story and start a thread about it?! 😱God, I hope this isn't true.

She has been away for a while. What if she never comes back?

AngelicKaty · 28/09/2024 16:10

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Really? Seriously? I mean there are people who are nuts enough to make up a story and start a thread about it?! 😱God, I hope this isn't true.

AngelicKaty · 28/09/2024 16:06

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:24

No the driving ban theory still makes sense - presumably the FIL drives DH in his own car, and DH leaves his car at the PIL.

The bit that doesn’t make sense is leaving in normal clothes and coming home in work uniform.

Sorry this is happening OP! Can your friend check later around leaving time and see where your partner is coming from to retrieve his car?

Why is DH picking up FIL for work (and another employee before that) if FIL can drive? 🙄

Silverfoxlady · 28/09/2024 16:01

Did you also ‘surprise’ him at work early? You could go in with a cup of tea/coffee….

Silverfoxlady · 28/09/2024 15:54

AimieDaisy · 27/09/2024 12:03

I’d follow him, secretly.

This would be me too! If you know where his parents live, it is easily done.

mondayawoos · 28/09/2024 15:45

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This..

KaleQueen · 28/09/2024 15:43

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Pooeys · 28/09/2024 15:42

Very coincidental that he left earlier today. He has either seen your phone or the friend has told him …nothing makes sense !

Katielovesteatime · 28/09/2024 15:41

So he says he's at work but he isn't? I mean, I know you said his dad answered the phone, but did his dad say he wasn't there?

MadamePeriwinkle · 28/09/2024 15:40

Just a thought…is it possible that his mum is unwell and needing care and he hasn’t told you due to your falling out with his parents?

Maybe they’ve even asked him not to say anything?

whatnowgromit · 28/09/2024 15:39

OP this is horrible for you, he's lying about something that's for sure. When is he due home from work today?

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:38

Could he have been having an affair for a while when he was supposed to be at work and the OW has recently had a baby that’s he getting up early to go and help out with?

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:37

CustardySergeant · 28/09/2024 15:35

His dad doesn't drive. It's in the opening post.

I suppose the workmate could take them both if he’s picking up FIL anyway, and would still explain OP’s partner’s car being at PIL all day.

CustardySergeant · 28/09/2024 15:35

mindutopia · 28/09/2024 13:50

Does he drive otherwise? Is it possible he’s had his license suspended and shouldn’t be driving? So instead he’s leaving pre-rush hour to drive to parents and dad is covering him by driving them both, and then he just does the quick trip in reverse at the end of the day to avoid getting caught, especially if there are smart cameras or something on the way.

His dad doesn't drive. It's in the opening post.

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:33

PosiePetal · 28/09/2024 15:31

The FIL doesn't drive, though?

Of course! I forgot about that bit - I think I was just hoping for the OP’s sake it was a driving ban and not something worse.

I am so baffled by this behaviour I hope OP gets to the bottom of it (and updates us!)

PosiePetal · 28/09/2024 15:33

Saker · 28/09/2024 15:13

Oh well obviously I'm naive. 😂 Even with an affair it seems unlikely he would carry it on 6 mornings a week without even brushing his teeth or that he would need so desperately to set an alarm every morning. OP has said that she has fallen out with his parents but that he is devoted to them and they clearly know what is going on since his car is parked outside their house. If his mother was getting dementia for example, it might be he and his dad are taking it in turns to be in the house with her and to be at work. Anyway, it was just a thought. I don't mind being laughed at! 😂

I don’t think this is completely implausible.

PosiePetal · 28/09/2024 15:31

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:24

No the driving ban theory still makes sense - presumably the FIL drives DH in his own car, and DH leaves his car at the PIL.

The bit that doesn’t make sense is leaving in normal clothes and coming home in work uniform.

Sorry this is happening OP! Can your friend check later around leaving time and see where your partner is coming from to retrieve his car?

The FIL doesn't drive, though?

DreamW3aver · 28/09/2024 15:30

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:24

No the driving ban theory still makes sense - presumably the FIL drives DH in his own car, and DH leaves his car at the PIL.

The bit that doesn’t make sense is leaving in normal clothes and coming home in work uniform.

Sorry this is happening OP! Can your friend check later around leaving time and see where your partner is coming from to retrieve his car?

The driving ban theory could be easily put to bed if the OP confirms whether he drives at other times

Leopardprintlover101 · 28/09/2024 15:24

AngelicKaty · 28/09/2024 14:51

OP told us this morning that her friend saw DH's car outside his parents house at 7.10am and it was STILL there at 10am. OP then phoned DH (presumably on his mobile) who said he was at work, so she then phoned the work number and her FIL answered. So, either they were both at work or FIL was, but DH was somewhere else. Either way, for your licence-suspension theory to be correct, DH's car would have to be at work if his FIL was (and possibly him also) and not still parked outside his parents' house.

No the driving ban theory still makes sense - presumably the FIL drives DH in his own car, and DH leaves his car at the PIL.

The bit that doesn’t make sense is leaving in normal clothes and coming home in work uniform.

Sorry this is happening OP! Can your friend check later around leaving time and see where your partner is coming from to retrieve his car?

Saker · 28/09/2024 15:13

taylorswift1989 · 28/09/2024 12:34

Hahaha sorry for laughing but that has to be the biggest reach I've ever seen on MN! Expect the "maybe he's autistic" posts but was not expecting anyone to claim he's looking after his sick mother!

What is it about this lying, deceitful, sexually coercive man that makes you think he's likely to be getting up early in order to selflessly care for an elderly relative?

Oh well obviously I'm naive. 😂 Even with an affair it seems unlikely he would carry it on 6 mornings a week without even brushing his teeth or that he would need so desperately to set an alarm every morning. OP has said that she has fallen out with his parents but that he is devoted to them and they clearly know what is going on since his car is parked outside their house. If his mother was getting dementia for example, it might be he and his dad are taking it in turns to be in the house with her and to be at work. Anyway, it was just a thought. I don't mind being laughed at! 😂

Aintthatso · 28/09/2024 15:09

Even if he is having an affair, surely he wouldn’t be up at the crack of dawn before work to get a quickie in six days a week. Also why is he panicky about setting the alarms and leaving the house quickly? That’s not affair behaviour either.

Notmollybutdolly · 28/09/2024 14:56

God I hope everything’s okay

AngelicKaty · 28/09/2024 14:51

mindutopia · 28/09/2024 13:50

Does he drive otherwise? Is it possible he’s had his license suspended and shouldn’t be driving? So instead he’s leaving pre-rush hour to drive to parents and dad is covering him by driving them both, and then he just does the quick trip in reverse at the end of the day to avoid getting caught, especially if there are smart cameras or something on the way.

OP told us this morning that her friend saw DH's car outside his parents house at 7.10am and it was STILL there at 10am. OP then phoned DH (presumably on his mobile) who said he was at work, so she then phoned the work number and her FIL answered. So, either they were both at work or FIL was, but DH was somewhere else. Either way, for your licence-suspension theory to be correct, DH's car would have to be at work if his FIL was (and possibly him also) and not still parked outside his parents' house.

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 28/09/2024 14:44

wwyt · 28/09/2024 10:32

Update:

I rung dp he says he's at work. We rung the workplace his father answered.

Well, this is painful

Omg OP now I really want to know the answer as much as you do.

KaleQueen · 28/09/2024 14:42

curtaintwitcher78 · 28/09/2024 14:08

I wish it was 🤣

This has made me laugh. Not in a smug way but just in a wtf how does this poster think that happens then?!

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