To feel slightly suspicious of dp

I genuinely hope that the outcome of this situation turns out to be innocent.

His Dad may have informed him about your phone call, leading him to cover his tracks by unexpectedly returning home for lunch.
You could discreetly install a mobile phone tracking application on his and your phones without his knowledge. Have you examined his phone for any potential clues?
I understand that some individuals may advise against this course of action, but given your suspicions, it could potentially reveal information that he is unwilling to disclose.
:/ snap maps or find my phone apps

Could Dh be involved with a Gilf for some legit reason? doing some type of charity work driving to hospital, doctors etc? Or could Fil be mistaken for a lady or possibly transitioning?

Personally I'd confront him now.
I'd say I know he's hiding something from his change in behaviour and that car was parked until 10am ( I wouldn't say how I knew this - it's true so he doesn't need to defend it). I'd add that he doesn't have to explain anything if he didn't want to but that I don't trust him and would be seeing the relationship as unreliable going forward.
As you don't know the facts you need to stay cool. But clearly he's lying to you. It's good to treat him with the same diffidence. Then he can't twist it to being your fault for having an emotional response.

It could be money and Uber driving or a mum of a secret family or anything. It's more he's hiding it.

Would she recognise his mum?

Yes -maybe as an Uber driver or doing driving lessons?

You shouldn't have told him you were on to him OP. And definitely shouldn't have told him your sister saw him. He's going to be more careful now. Can you not backtrack on yourself and play dumb. "Yes you're right DH, my sister is obviously seeing things. Ofc you wouldn't be out of work, swanning around with another woman". And then hire a private investigator or get your friend to be waiting outside from as early as possible trying to follow? If he was driving with a woman, but his car is parked outside of his mums, then whose car is he driving?

Let's be clear about this: if OP's DP was doing something that is perfectly innocent (albeit a change from his previous routine) he would just TELL HER. What reasonable man wouldn't if he has nothing to hide?
Sorry OP, but it's time for YOU to go "batshit crazy". Ultimatum time - he either tells you what his early starts are about, or he goes back to live with his parents. No more gas-lighting.

I’d absolutely be having your friend/someone with a car he doesn’t know sit on his mums road at 7am to see where he goes.. I know it’s been attempted and managed to go wrong but short of him telling you the truth I’m not sure how else you can see where he’s going?!

Look at the facts OP.

He's behaving suspiciously. He's lying about his whereabouts. He's been spotted with a woman in his car. Regardless of her age it all points to something very very dodgy.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't be letting this go at all.

His turning up for lunch unannounced and then going to work later on the Monday absolutely reeks of someone who has been caught out.

Is he a fan of Wayne Rooney?

Dying to know what the truth is. OP I wouldn’t confront him with any more proof you’re spying on him until you’ve done a bit more digging. He will start covering it up more.

just keep your friend on watching him and see which house he goes in when he gets out the car

Maybe he's fallen out with his dad but still chatting to mum hence still parking there and maybe knows you might be suspicious?

Doing a different job on the side ??

I don't know OP it's all so messy I hope you figure it out would your friend be up for following him again?

🤣🤣🤣

What on earth is this about? 🫤

Op taxi driving , lifts etc would tie in with the alarms and needing to be out at a specific time etc... (just saying and hoping for you!) has he had more cash then usual?

Any debts he could be hiding from you?

50 is not elderly even if you are only late 20s, so for this alone YABU.

That said, his behaviour is definitely weird.

Hope you get to the bottom of what's going on.

Maybe he’s moonlighting as a taxi driver. 🌒

Sadly, to 20-somethings, it is. 🤣😂🤣

So I guess if we remove ageism then the likeliest answer is he’s having a fling with a woman in her 50s, and is giving her a lift.

It’s DP!!!!!!! Op we have solved it!!!

This is bonkers. . @wwyt
OP are you staying with him or not ? This is madness .

He is lying sneaking around hiding stuff. .no doubt cheating and yet your letting him gaslight
you.

Saying you are crazy , your sister is causing trouble. Yes he was changing things around to throw you off sent. .

I have just been told through a friend of a female work colleague who has ended a 25 year marriage she is in her 50s and guess what age the man is she is getting lifts from and got all friendly with ???? 21 that’s what age he is .

It happens .

Your man has been playing around and has just been caught.

I do agree that to a 20 year old, 50 - 60 can seem elderly.
I'm sure I thought my patients in their 60s (when I was a young student nurse), were almost past it.

But of course, now I'm in my 60s myself, and I still feel young! And 20 year olds seem like children to me.

Come and ask me again when I'm 80.
🤣

Op did your sister know of your concerns ? Or did she just innocently say she saw do?

Technically yes you are a private hire and your insurance needs to change, you get dbs checked and passenger should not be in front of vehicle.

But why wouldn’t he just say ?

And whether or not 50-60 is elderly or not is a bit beside the point; young or old, she ain’t his dad, so why say she was his dad?