To feel slightly suspicious of dp

Keep your chin up .The bigger picture is that its good to know the truth whatever it is,however it hurts its best to know so that you can get on with life .You can always chat here and please let us know how it goes...main thing Stay Safe and make sure someone close to you ,a friend or relative has an idea of what you are going through xx

But she has been asking him why he's leaving early, along with other questions, including why he was in a car with another woman, to no avail. He's clearly a sneaky liar who is not going to give up the information on where he's going.

I obv DRTWT, I scanned it so may have missed this obvious suggestion if you haven't done it already.

Follow him.
Get someone to look after kids if necessary.
Buy a wig and put on your sunnies
Borrow a car so he doesn't recognise it.

Have you done any of this yet? If so what happened?

If not, why not?

You go on to what's app, settings, linked devices and if it's linked to another device it will show you on there.
It's a worrying list for sure, but when you have been in the situation of needing solid proof before leaving with a baby, because all you have is a inkling something isn't right, then sometimes it's your only lifeline to go digging to this extent.

This is a very worrying list. I didn’t even know you could do that with WhatsApp and now I am wondering if anyone has ever done it to me?? How would I know?

Regardless, if it’s come to this then the bottom line is the OP doesn’t trust her DP. None of this L
OP if I were you I would explain to him how you feel, that you don’t trust him and you have suspicions that he is cheating. If he does anything other than listening to you voice your concerns and want to reassure you, then it’s over. Please don’t drive yourself mad with trying to track him - whether you like it or not, it’s not fair to do that to another human being.

You can demand the truth but it doesn't mean he will give it.

And judging by his response when you questioned him last time (defensive, raising his voice, gaslighting and triangulating you with your sister) it doesn't sound like he will fess up.

I would avoid asking again personally, and find a way to catch him red handed.

Right, let's think of ways we can catch him out:
• Does he have an iPhone? Can you log in to his find my iPhone/ Apple ID?
• Do you have access to his phone or computer? If not, could you whilst he's asleep?
• Car tracker, (btw who's car is he using, whilst his is parked outside his mums?)
• Friend waits early as possible on your street and follows
• Private investigator
• Go on his WhatsApp whilst he's asleep, scan his QR code and link it to yours, if this is what he uses or log in to his Apple ID on your phone to receive his messages. I'm sure in settings you can add a phone number, add his and then delete the notification off his phone whilst he's asleep?

I will think of some more suggestions and be back.

I would use an airtag though I think you know where he is going

We established at the start of the thread that AirTags warn people of their presence.

I would use an airtag though I think you know where he is going. Maybe instead of following him as you know he is going to your dads street, get your friend/sister to park there and wait early in the am and see where he goes? It’s very suss!

I have the family location sharing in my iphone btw as me and my partner regularly loose our phones, he is crap at answering his (hits volume off in work and forgets to put it back on) and safety. There can be a lag at times when it doesn’t updated that you’ve moved for a few minutes.

@wwyt think the time has come for you to buy a dog tracker to put in his car? too many changes going on and it is obviously not ringing true for you, x. you can buy better trackers but they seem to all need subscriptions now. you can research them if you need to though.

Just sit him down and say, "I've had enough of your weird behaviour, leaving early without explanation, getting angry when asked what's going on. You clearly don't have time for me or our marriage, you're not prioritising our family, and I deserve better. Let's end this now. You can move in to your parents' house while we sort out what's going to happen next."

Simple solution, OP. He's behaving like a twat and you clearly can't trust him, so just end it.

I think, as he is gaslighting you already by trying to make you think you are crazy you need more evidence. I think your friend or someone needs to park on parents road and film where he goes. I think if you ask him he will just deny it and make out its in your head.

Can your friend come over early one morning, stay with your child and you follow him?

Would you consider getting baby ready go get a take out lunch and pop into his work place for surprise lunch by the way include fil, see what vibe you get from this,

I think ask afriend to leave her car on the parents street. park her car with dashcam left running. Doesn't sound like you will get any answers from him.
Can you get access go his phone?

You might never get the answers. It's now up to you to decide whether you're willing to put up with this nonsense...or not. Personally, I'd be ensuring I have an escape plan in place, an escape fund in place, get finances in order and look to eventually leave - he has made you feel inferior in what should be an equal partnership.
Once you've got the escape plan and finances in place, I'd explain to him that you're leaving him/he needs to leave by XX date.

Follow him again or turn up in person to his work when he is supposed to be there/has told you he is there but you know he is not.

I wouldn’t say anything else to him, don’t comment on it at all. But I would do some digging definitely. Can you secretly put find my iPhone on his phone and link it to yours? Providing you both have iPhones. And then hide the app. That way you will be able to see his whereabouts, without him knowing as he doesn’t get notified. I would be looking on his devices, you can see deleted text messages upto 30 days after deletion. I would be gathering as much evidence as I could. I’m so sorry this is al happening, it must be so worrying and you must feel so frustrated with it all.

May sound a little outrageous but maybe his dad could be having affairs and getting partner to cover for him? It does all sound pretty odd though

It sounds to me like he’s having a fling with an older woman and got on the defence when your sister saw him ! Typical gaslighting. Really hope you get to the bottom of it!