To wonder how to not let people provoke you?

It just makes more determined to stay calm relaxed and nicer to stick 2 fingers up at them, if they want ro be become hysterical or unreasonable that is on them

From the net:

Dealing with someone who consistently stirs trouble can be challenging. Here are some strategies you might consider:

Stay Calm: Keep your composure when interacting with the person. Responding with anger or frustration can escalate the situation.

Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate what behaviors you find unacceptable. Let them know the consequences if they continue to engage in disruptive behavior.

Avoid Engagement: If possible, limit your interactions with this person. Sometimes, not responding to provocations can reduce their incentive to stir trouble.

Document Incidents: Keep a record of any troubling interactions. This can be useful if you need to escalate the issue to a supervisor or authority figure.

Focus on Solutions: When conflicts arise, try to steer the conversation towards finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

Seek Support: Talk to friends, colleagues, or supervisors about the situation. They may offer advice or intervene if necessary.

Practice Empathy: Try to understand their motivations. Sometimes, people stir trouble due to their own insecurities or frustrations.

Consider Professional Help: If the situation becomes too difficult to handle, consider seeking advice from a counselor or mediator.

Know When to Walk Away: If the person continues to be toxic despite your best efforts, it may be best to distance yourself from them entirely.

By implementing these strategies, you can create a healthier environment for yourself and reduce the impact of their behavior on your life.

Walk away.

"Sorry I need to just pop to the loo". Sorts most things.

Ah I used to work in a secondary school I'm a pro at this. Learning to not escalate my behaviour when the students were escalated was a real skill.

Take 3 deep breaths and count to 5 before you respond to keep your Nervous System in check. When you do respond do so with a low, slow voice - take your time. Don't let them make you quick and high pitched as you sound out of control. If you need time and space to react calmly give yourself that "I think we need to address this at another time".

You just need to realise how limited of a person they are, people who act like this have very little self awareness about how their behavioir reflects on them alone.

I actively avoid people who think getting a rise out of someone is a good way to go. I mean, what sort of person does that?
Life's much easier and nicer without them in it.

Depends on the situation. You’d handle something at work differently than your children for example.

Generally speaking you always come across better by not reacting in anger/shouting/raising your voice. It might be you put a very polite voice on and state you disagree, or you might say “that isn’t appropriate” and walk away or you might want to (politely) say something stronger.

Personally the best thing about living in 2024 is being able to get/deal with some of this conflict in writing and not having to react in the moment. Being able to reflect and then respond.

You can’t control other people but you can control how you react to them, don’t give them the power to piss you off

I find killing people with kindness works best. My DH says he always knows I loathe someone when I'm being incredibly lovely to them.

I tend to just walk away but that's hard to do at work.
My DH says "remember a clown only performs if he has an audience" so that's the walking away, just quietly with a "must go" look at a watch if necessary. Showing no reaction and no interest is also important. No response at all, none, to statements meant to get a reaction. Knowing that they're actually trying to get the attention helps me to divert my focus elsewhere. If they don't get a reaction, you're no longer fun and they'll bugger off to someone else.

I am, of course, speaking of adult irritants. Kids are different.

Who is doing the provoking? If family, walk away each time/say I see/ reduce contact times or opportunities for conflict.

Colleagues - again, walk away/I see, decline opportunities to bark back/call them out if you feel able (some assertiveness training might help here)

Can you give some examples? Are the people deliberately provoking you or are you quick to anger over inconsequential things ?

Usually a bemused look

Say nothing. You aren't required to reply when someone is being a dick.

If you must reply, take a long time to think before opening your mouth.

Give an example of the type of situation you mean? Who are these people, for one thing — are they friends or family members, or total strangers?