School mums

Have you tried headbutting her in the nose? That would make her remember you for sure.

Shouldn't have called your suggestion 'daft' you're right. Apologies.

However I would bet a lot of money this lady doesn't have this condition.

Would you call someone reporting their personal experience of any other disability "daft"?!

In point of fact, OP has only reported that this person recognises "other mum", singular. For all we know there is just one other mother that this person is able to recognise - perhaps because they have known one another for decades, perhaps because the other person has some distinctive characteristic, we don't know.

@ivise hang in there, I found the playground mums made me feel like I was back at school. Thankfully this stage does not last forever. Before you know it, your kids will be taking themselves to and from school and you won’t even know their friends, let alone their friends’ parents.
I experienced this from lots of mums at pick up and drop off—at best it’s rude, at worst it’s deliberately cruel.
This particular mum you mention is not worth your time or thoughts. Find the ones that do make eye contact/smile/acknowledge that you exist. These are the ones you should gravitate to. Your daughter can chat to whomever she likes.
The people on here who say they are in a rush! What absolute BS. You can smile and say good morning to someone as you walk past them. It doesn’t delay you in the slightest and it makes that person feel like a human being, not something you are avoiding stepping in.

Don't be daft. She recognises the other mums.

Sounds like she just doesn't want you to befriend her for whatever reason.

Praise the Lord

Please look up prosopagnosia and consider it as a possibility - one or two percent of the population have it. She may simply be unable to recognise you, i.e., she may see you, but not have a sense of having ever met you. There can be no rhyme or reason to whether a person who is prosopagnosic can or can't recognise someone else, so her greeting another mother doesn't rule this out at all. It is awful to offend people without being able to help it - for this reason I always tell people about mine on first meeting, but not everyone does.

Sadly there are women in the playground who behave like this and think they are still in high school, form cliques and overtly leave people out. I’ve got 3 kids, two year groups are great the other is awful and they act like a bunch of cruel 14 year olds. I want nothing to do with it.

Ignore her right back, be super friendly with the others, then she’ll suddenly want to know you if she thinks she’s missing out. Sounds childish but she is childish.

For the people dismissing it, they are probably the “popular ones” doing exactly this to others or don’t know what it feels like to have people behave in this way. I personally struggle with self esteem issues and something like this really knocks me, sounds like that might be true for you too.

Some people are just strange. There was a school mum from DC1's class who went on the same bus as me and the DCs. DC1 liked her DC but they weren't big buddies.

Anyway, my DCs ran onto the bus ahead of her, not great but not the crime of the century. She was muttering loudly under her breath about how rude my DCs were. After that, she would look right through me as if I didn't even exist. Before that she used to say hello, but no more than that. It's now 10 years later, I still occasionally see her and she continues to look straight through me.

Let the kids chat. You don’t need to befriend the other child’s mother for that to happen.

Just because your kids play together it doesn't mean you have to be friendly to the parents of said child.
The school run is not where I want to make any contact with people as I'm in a rush.
Also maybe she just has other people she wants to talk to.
I find this notion on mumsnet mad that just because kids are getting an education together parents must be friendly too.

Thing is you don't want it to be awkward, but she probably doesn't want it to be awkward either. So it's easier to ignore you and talk to the person she probably already knows than try to strike up a conversation where she might be rebuffed.

If you want to talk to her then go and talk to her. Just say hello whether she is looking in your direction or not. Or go and join in her conversation with someone else. Or just let your acquaintanceship develop naturally through your occasional interaction as your daughters are friends.

I get what you're saying OP. It would be so easy and cost nothing to smile as you pass and return a quick hello if someone says it to you. It just makes for a nicer atmosphere.

There may be various reasons why she doesn't.

She could be always stressed/ in a rush/ distracted. (I have ADHD and I'm often in a daydream. People have accused me before of blanking them or giving them dirty looks which I definitely never intended!)
She may have "face blindness". I know a lady like this. It took her about 2 years to learn my face and start returning my breezy hellos and we're quite friendly now.
She may just be a bit socially obnoxious and DGAF about niceties.
Or, a variation of the above, she might be someone who is anxious to get into/ stay in the Queen Bee's clique and avoids any sort of association with anyone deemed not worthy. This has happened to me (mums who were initially friendly at the start of reception until they figured I was not worth knowing, then acted as if I was invisible).

If it's the last two, she's not worth a moment more of your thought space, trust me. Just carry on being you. Your child will still make friends. The older they get, the less it is in the parents hands.

I'm terrifyingly shy and have been seen as offish with other mums as I will only go and talk to the ones who have actively sought me out often enough that I feel confident I will not be rejected. So I would give her the benefit of the doubt and hope one of us learned how to come over the shyness enough to actually become friends as we may have lots in common.

I think there are more shy or socially anxious people around than we realise. Having a conversation with someone you barely know can feel difficult so people seek out people they feel more comfortable with. My sons best pals Mum comes across as a bit frosty at first but I've had to persevere and be the first one to say hello and how are you and have you got plans for the holidays and that sort of thing. She is friendly to me now but I don't think she massively enjoys these interactions 😆

She's just not that into you. Don't give it any more headspace. Gravitate towards the ones who do smile back and seem warmer towards you.

I think there are at least one or two 'unfriendly' mums at every school (who blank people arbitrarily). It's not personal OP. But it is stressful if you want to facilitate playdates etc between your dds. If your dd really wants this then maybe keep trying with her- otherwise just be civil but stop making an effort I'd say!

You could be describing me. There’s lots of school parents I’ve had a chat with once at a coffee morning or whose child plays with mine. I don’t dislike any of them and I’ll happily chat or respond if they say hello. But honestly it feels massively awkward to say hi to a couple of dozen slight acquaintances as we pass on the pavement every morning while we are all in a rush, talking to our children etc and I’m never sure if I know them well enough for a daily hello. I do go up and say hi to the parents I know well and think of as my friends - that’s not a slight to anyone else there. Maybe it’s my social awkwardness or overthinking on my part.

I guess what I’m saying OP is I think you’re overthinking it. She probably doesn’t dislike you, just doesn’t know you. If you want to be friendly because your children are friends then actually go up and speak to her rather than trying to interpret smiles and vibes.

Why is it always posters complaining about school mums specifically not being nice to them but then it turns out the OP never greets the person, never strikes up conversation, never says hi and all the blame is on the other person.
Some people have a very strange concept of what it’s like to send your kids to school. Women are expected to go out of their way to be nice and over the top friendly and accommodating to others even when they don’t know them and are trying to pick up their kids.

You don’t ever hear people complaining that they once had a 5 minute chat about the weather in work and now that man or woman doesn’t seek them out to greet them and chat every day.

It’s actually the school mums like OP that come across as really obsessive and weird.

I’m just trying to pick my kid up and rush home to get on with the evening! Surely I can’t be alone?

Just seen your update. I'd just leave her to it then. You don't have to be friends with her, so just leave her to it.

She doesn't want to, then. Why does it matter?

Some people are just a little socially awkward and find this stuff a bit difficult- smile and say Hi and I'm sure she'll start chatting.

Have you said hi to her?