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Original poster

Horrible dread of children growing up and what they might go through

32 replies

Suddenfeelingofsadness · 26/09/2024 22:55

Wonder if anyone can relate.
It feels to me as if my DC's were little for so long. I felt like they were dependent and time consuming and not sleeping for so long. I spent a lot of it in survival mode. Now they are 10 and 8 and it suddenly doesn't seem long until they're teenagers.
I've never been one of those nostalgic for toddlers and baby people. But I'm so aware of the horror of what's to come and the era they're growing up in.
My DD is already being bullied. She is autistic and likely to struggle in school forever. She is also beautiful and very trusting. Super vulnerable as she takes everyone at their word. I feel like she's going to be taken advantage of and I won't be there to stop it. I've tried social stories to help her but they don't seem to go in or they overwhelm her.

My son is so precious and kind right now but as a single mum and him being male I feel so scared of what's to come. My friend has just caught her 12 year old son wanking over some really disgusting porn (not your average) and I just couldn't cope with that. The thought of him being turned on by something abhorrent. I know there's filters and blockers you can get but it can still be found. Something about it just made me so sad, he is a child.
I just keep getting periods of despair about what they'll go through and selfishly what
I'll go through. It feels so bleak.

OP posts:
missymousey · 26/09/2024 23:31

My kid is only 7 but I get where you're coming from. They've been discussing in class about the possibility of banning smartphones for kids and I'm pleased to say he is one of about half the class who are in favour of a ban. He does know I'm against smartphones for children and that he won't be having one.

5475878237NC · 26/09/2024 23:21

I know what you mean OP. It's so sad to think we live in a world where people behave in horrible ways that mean we can pretty much guarantee our children pain, suffering and trauma.

Original poster
Suddenfeelingofsadness · 26/09/2024 23:19

Thank you all, I do hope to stay strong on the no phones. I did ban YouTube but I think I will try to stop again as they both watch things I don't like on there. It has a real noticeable impact on their speech, mood, attention span.

OP posts:
Tittat50 · 26/09/2024 23:15

I do understand your fears. We have a teenage boy, also ND.

The number one thing more than anything that makes this so difficult is phones and the internet. It's social isolation without a phone to some extent so we just allow WhatsApp. But it's a constant battle when every other kid has all the SMedia apps.
The porn your friends kid watched was probably via some app. This is not the first I've heard of this scenario.

It's just a nightmare but my advice is to be strong on the phone thing and access to apps / internet.

DD may find commonality at secondary. There are so so many ND kids in mainstream now, she will not be alone in that. There will be much greater choice of friends, interests and she can move to different classes without dealing with the same people. There's alot of positive in this for many ND kids.

Nannerli · 26/09/2024 23:13

Your feelings are your feelings, but, speaking as the eldest child of a catastrophising mother, please don’t burden your children with them. I’ve dealt with bullying, serious medical diagnoses, post-partum psychosis, unemployment without telling my parents because I then have to manage their fears as well as my own, and it’s easier to cope alone.

TheUsualChaos · 26/09/2024 23:09

I do know what you mean. It's like a kind of feeling of grief for simpler times when they were little and you could protect them more easily.

One of the best things we can do for our kids atm is delay smartphones. They are really destroying this generations childhoods. Bullying, toxic social media, porn, violence, addiction. Just so, so damaging for children and young teens mental health.

PuppiesLove · 26/09/2024 23:06

You just need to take it as it comes, keep things in proportion and make sure you give your children the appropriate education around these things. We can't protect them from everything, but we can prepare them.