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Original poster

School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

492 replies

Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:09

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey.

Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes.

The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job!

I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time.

I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option.

How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

OP posts:
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Original poster
Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:41

CustardySergeant · 26/09/2024 21:39

"She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark."

How was it dark?

It was the late bus, it leaves after after school activities and arrived at 7:15pm. It was dark.

OP posts:
Original poster
Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:40

FS90 · 26/09/2024 21:37

He was wrong but for your year 9 child to be crying when she’s spoken to you and you e made arrangements for her to be collected is a very extreme reaction

When she told me I was not able to confirm any arrangements as I had to make them whilst being stuck in traffic. I had asked that her friends wait with her when she arrived.

She’s still a child, it’s okay for her to feel overwhelmed by the situation she was in. Many adults get overwhelmed and that’s surely okay too? It happens.

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 26/09/2024 21:39

"She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark."

How was it dark?

AgileGreenSeal · 26/09/2024 21:39

User37482 · 26/09/2024 21:23

If I paid for Dd to be taken from a to b thats what I would expect to receive tbh. Your DD needs to be a bit tougher, she shouldn’t be in tears about it, annoyed yes but not crying.

“Your DD needs to be a bit tougher, she shouldn’t be in tears about it, annoyed yes but not crying.”

not fair to criticise the child for being upset.

Original poster
Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:38

Gelasring · 26/09/2024 21:32

To be fair, my similar ages kid (14) would probably be in a flap if she was dropped that far from home and it was somewhere she hadn't navigated home from before. She's confident getting buses and trains on her own to certain places but if she was just dropped 5 miles from home somewhere she wouldn't normally get home from independently she'd have a flap.

Exactly, all children are different.

we live in the countryside and there is no bus service or train for her to have returned home from where she was dropped. The only way she was getting home from there was via a car.

OP posts:
FS90 · 26/09/2024 21:37

He was wrong but for your year 9 child to be crying when she’s spoken to you and you e made arrangements for her to be collected is a very extreme reaction

Claloulat · 26/09/2024 21:36

I'd be furious and raise hell about it at the school. I wouldn't let it go until something was done about it.

What if something happens to the next child he abandons? He was hired to transport this minor and has a duty of care to get her to her destination safely

Original poster
Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:36

StormingNorman · 26/09/2024 21:31

I suspect they can’t refuse to drop her home and that’s why the driver wouldn’t give you his name.

Did you get the number plate?

Yes I took the number plate and he’s apparently the only drive who does that route. (It’s a late bus)
I will definitely be raising this with the school tomorrow as I can comprehend leaving a child in an unfamiliar spot, in the dark and thinking that it is acceptable.

I agree with other comments, this was a very different situation to normal but he can’t simply refuse to drop a child home because he doesn’t like the look of the traffic!

OP posts:
Bayern · 26/09/2024 21:36

@Theherringbones take it up with the school. They will know which bus company does which route and that company will know which driver this was and get an explanation for why this happened. We used a private bus service for my son's school, similar journey time. Most of the drivers were retirees driving a minibus a couple of hours a day, not professional drivers in the way people here are thinking. Drivers hours would not even have been close to being a consideration.

Bignanna · 26/09/2024 21:35

purpleme12 · 26/09/2024 21:33

I think you've perhaps misunderstood me
OP was saying he should go the route he's supposed to go. I was agreeing with the OP that he should go the route he's supposed to go

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Even so, he is responsible for the children’s safety.

KrisAkabusi · 26/09/2024 21:35

Gelasring · 26/09/2024 21:32

To be fair, my similar ages kid (14) would probably be in a flap if she was dropped that far from home and it was somewhere she hadn't navigated home from before. She's confident getting buses and trains on her own to certain places but if she was just dropped 5 miles from home somewhere she wouldn't normally get home from independently she'd have a flap.

She had her phone, she was able to talk to her mother who got there on time.

And quite honestly, I wouldn't give my name to someone who was "having words with me", who knows what some people might do with the information e.g put it on a thread like this to name and shame.

CallMeFlo · 26/09/2024 21:35

wombat1a · 26/09/2024 21:33

Quite possibly he had run out of driving hours, this is quite common around here, the run from the bus station to the villages is a 3 hour round trip for the bus drivers so if they get delayed on one of their trips they sometimes have to stop at the last town and turn back instead of carrying on the next 15 mins to the 2 folliwing villages. The taco systems are all digital now and being digital now driving over hours is flagged up more easily than it was 10-20 years ago.

What driven 10 hours by school drop off time??? Very unlikely. He'd need to have started work about 5am

purpleme12 · 26/09/2024 21:33

Bignanna · 26/09/2024 21:21

And if the girl had come to harm?

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I think you've perhaps misunderstood me
OP was saying he should go the route he's supposed to go. I was agreeing with the OP that he should go the route he's supposed to go

wombat1a · 26/09/2024 21:33

Quite possibly he had run out of driving hours, this is quite common around here, the run from the bus station to the villages is a 3 hour round trip for the bus drivers so if they get delayed on one of their trips they sometimes have to stop at the last town and turn back instead of carrying on the next 15 mins to the 2 folliwing villages. The taco systems are all digital now and being digital now driving over hours is flagged up more easily than it was 10-20 years ago.

Gelasring · 26/09/2024 21:32

To be fair, my similar ages kid (14) would probably be in a flap if she was dropped that far from home and it was somewhere she hadn't navigated home from before. She's confident getting buses and trains on her own to certain places but if she was just dropped 5 miles from home somewhere she wouldn't normally get home from independently she'd have a flap.

StormingNorman · 26/09/2024 21:31

I suspect they can’t refuse to drop her home and that’s why the driver wouldn’t give you his name.

Did you get the number plate?

Original poster
Theherringbones · 26/09/2024 21:31

Thank you all for your views on this. It’s very helpful. To answer some questions:

He actually took a different route than the one he normally takes to avoid traffic.

The school did not contact me about this or make any alternative arrangements for her.

He was planning on leaving her at the stop with the other children who would also get off there.

My daughter being tougher isn’t the issue here. She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark.

The bus service is organised by the school and we pay for her to be dropped at the home stop every day.

It wasn’t out of his way as he chose to take an alternative route and to not finish going to each of his designated stops.

OP posts:
Somerandomerontheinternet · 26/09/2024 21:31

Scutterbug · 26/09/2024 21:29

Year 9 not 9.

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Ah thanks I read to quickly - comments make more sense in that context.

my comments on his lack of professionalism still stand though.

mumbleberry · 26/09/2024 21:31

Ah ok @Molly546 already said it 😂

mumbleberry · 26/09/2024 21:30

I think it would be quite hard for a school bus driver to near his hours limit ..?

Both the number of hours before a break and the overall hours in a day

Bayern · 26/09/2024 21:30

User37482 · 26/09/2024 21:23

If I paid for Dd to be taken from a to b thats what I would expect to receive tbh. Your DD needs to be a bit tougher, she shouldn’t be in tears about it, annoyed yes but not crying.

Year 9. She is probably 13. And being left somewhere she doesn't expect to be. And you say she shouldn't be upset. Have some empathy. You only have to look at the number of threads on here from adult women who don't like being in unknown places on their own to know that women and girls feel vulnerable in this kind of situation.

KrisAkabusi · 26/09/2024 21:29

She cried because she is 9

Year 9, so a lot older.

Scutterbug · 26/09/2024 21:29

Somerandomerontheinternet · 26/09/2024 21:28

She cried because she is 9. She didn’t know whether her mother was able to pick her up and was being told she was being left somewhere unfamiliar.

I don’t believe that 15 minutes would make or break whether he was exceeding maximum hours and from the aggression and rudeness sounds like he’s wholly unsuited to a job transporting children.

Year 9 not 9.

Somerandomerontheinternet · 26/09/2024 21:28

She cried because she is 9. She didn’t know whether her mother was able to pick her up and was being told she was being left somewhere unfamiliar.

I don’t believe that 15 minutes would make or break whether he was exceeding maximum hours and from the aggression and rudeness sounds like he’s wholly unsuited to a job transporting children.

CallMeFlo · 26/09/2024 21:28

A bus driver can drive a max of 10 hours a day. I'd think it's very unlikely that someone who drives a private service for schools would be over that by what 3pm?? I don't know many local bus services which start at 5am