Page 14 | School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

Theherringbones · 2024-09-26T20:09:58+00:00

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey. Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes. The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job! I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time. I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option. How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:05

@artictern particularly odd when the blame is placed on the child rather than the adult getting paid to do a job. Do the posters do it because they are bored & want to be contrary or do they lack intelligence? I’m never sure tbh!

Chipsintheair · 26/09/2024 23:04

User37482 · 26/09/2024 21:23

If I paid for Dd to be taken from a to b thats what I would expect to receive tbh. Your DD needs to be a bit tougher, she shouldn’t be in tears about it, annoyed yes but not crying.

Umm, no, crying is a completely normal reaction for a child suddenly dumped alone by the side of a road alone!

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:03

I am confused as to how its a safeguarding issue. All the teenagers in our village who get private school buses are not met at the stop by an adult. They often walk another mile or so home from the stop, by themselves. This is because its generally considered acceptable for secondary aged children to be out and about without parents. She was with other kids, her mum had been notified of the need to collect her. He's just a bus driver. He doesn't have parental responsibility for a 14 year old. When shit goes a bit wrong with transport its up to the parents ~who chose a school miles from home~ to collect their kids, not other people.

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers. They'd have to ring their parents and wait around until a lift appeared, or ring a cab, or get a bus instead.

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:03

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:55

OP said her home stop, not her actual home. As mentioned, it sounds like the driver did not cover his full route and terminated before her stop.

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And if the contracted stop is there and he missed it I was wrong and I apologise. However I'm fairly confident the actual bus contract will be a pick up point, not actually the OP's home.

As a PP said, I'd check the OP all the facts before making a scene, or she could find herself doing a drive to and from a pick-up point for the next 4 plus years.

Fraaahnces · 26/09/2024 23:03

Massive safeguarding & duty of care issue. I would be up at the school losing my shit.

artictern · 26/09/2024 23:02

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:01

What if the bus driver has a child of their own and is already very late to collect them and they are waiting somewhere for him, also at risk of harm? What if he has caring responsibilities to get home for?

Why do people tie themselves in knots to justify shitty behaviour?

It’s weird isn’t it.

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:02

You may find that if she can't cope with this sort of transport mishap that most other teenagers would be able to handle, due to her autism, that you will have to have more contingency plans & special arrangements in place for her.

🙄

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:02

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:53

The bus company have you over a barrel. Sounds worse than public transport.

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Maybe but it is the only way my kids can get to school and we can get to work. There is no public transport. Losing your shit over it when it is what it is helps no one.

There is a thread running about anxious kids and dealing with the unexpected with a calm head and just getting on with things is part of modelling calm behaviour to your teenager.So things didn't go how you expected but nothing bad happened and we figured it out together. I have an ASD teen too and this is especially important with him. Life is too short to crying or yelling over a bus.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:01

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:37

As I said before, you will likely find the school bus has a specified route which does not actually include where the driver was picking up and dropping off from.

A now deceased friend ran a company running school buses to the outlying rural villages. By rights the children were expected to get to eg the local village as it was within reasonable walking distance. As an obligement he would run them to their homes. This is what it sounds more like here.

What may happen if the OP starts making too much noise, is that all the local kids will be expected to get lifted and dropped at one location. These are not actual taxies.

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Why would that happen? OP's child goes to an independent school and parents pay for the bus.

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:01

What if the bus driver has a child of their own and is already very late to collect them and they are waiting somewhere for him, also at risk of harm? What if he has caring responsibilities to get home for?

Why do people tie themselves in knots to justify shitty behaviour?

NauseousNancy · 26/09/2024 23:01

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 22:57

Its very difficult.

What if the bus driver has a child of their own and is already very late to collect them and they are waiting somewhere for him, also at risk of harm? What if he has caring responsibilities to get home for?

Does the bus driver know your DC has autism? You may find that if she can't cope with this sort of transport mishap that most other teenagers would be able to handle, due to her autism, that you will have to have more contingency plans & special arrangements in place for her.

Come on - I am a grown adult and i would panic if I was dropped a 2hr walk away from my home and expected to walk along roads with no paths with 60mph traffic, in the dark! It’s very normal this would upset a child.

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 23:00

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:55

Again, are you sure of that? It doesn't say that there were no other pupils in the OP.

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From one of the OP’s posts:

“Her stop is on a route and a standard stop for other children if they want too. It’s just what I call her ‘home’ stop. We are a few minutes walk away from it. So it was a stop he was supposed to make on his route.”

LittleOwl153 · 26/09/2024 23:00

It's a clear safeguarding breach.
You need to contact whoever organises the bus - not the bus company - it will either be a school or county education dept arrangement. They will be horrified to know that their contractor - who is supposed to be safeguarding trained would dump a kid at a bus stop with no means of getting home when their contract wad to get her home.

If the route was that much of an issue the driver could have explained to dd that the route was an issue and was there any chance she could be picked up from another point on the route. If hmshe could arrange this then he should have waited with her until her pick up arrived. That way he was covering his duty of care. If, as it sounds, he left her at the stop and drove off I would not expect him to be driving a school run again once reported. (And if he is I'd be clear with dd she is to report to you/school any comments he makes as having got away with it he will think he can do/say as he likes sadly.).

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:59

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:55

Again, are you sure of that? It doesn't say that there were no other pupils in the OP.

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From one of the OP’s posts:

“Her stop is on a route and a standard stop for other children if they want too. It’s just what I call her ‘home’ stop. We are a few minutes walk away from it. So it was a stop he was supposed to make on his route.”

Bellatrixpure · 26/09/2024 22:59

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 22:48

It's because my children get a private bus service to and from school that I would be chill about it. I've had 5 years of it now and everything does not always work as it should so having your kids prepared for that is important. Make sure they always have their phone so they can contact you,make sure you are always contactable at the the times you know they are supposed to be on the bus. Stay calm if something crops up your kid will take the lead from you. A quick aw that sucks, wait there/walk to nearby shop/whatever and I'll be with you as soon as I can,

My experience is that shit happens with school buses. On Monday for instance the kids bus just didn't show up, they were 20mins walk from home(where they are supposed to catch the bus), I was about 20mins drive away on my way to work. They rang me when the bus was about 20mins late, I had to turn back, get them, drive 30mins in the opposite direction to my work to drop them to school. They were late, I was late, bus company sent a text at about 1 that day saying that the return bus would be running as usual, no reasons given for the lack of bus in the morning. There was no exploding. No crying. No cross words exchanged. It's a long time to the end of school and if you rely on the bus(and they can refuse to have your child on in future) calm heads all around are needed.

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this bus. company sounds awful.

Unfortunately for working parents it’s just not possible to up and leave to ferry kids around or even be contactable. It wouldn’t work for many of us.

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 22:57

Its very difficult.

What if the bus driver has a child of their own and is already very late to collect them and they are waiting somewhere for him, also at risk of harm? What if he has caring responsibilities to get home for?

Does the bus driver know your DC has autism? You may find that if she can't cope with this sort of transport mishap that most other teenagers would be able to handle, due to her autism, that you will have to have more contingency plans & special arrangements in place for her.

Gemmy96 · 26/09/2024 22:57

An awful lot of people are forgetting that safeguarding is the responsibility of everyone who works with children. OP, I would be furious. YANBU

Remaker · 26/09/2024 22:57

I can’t believe the replies you are receiving here that your 14(?) year old should be absolutely fine about all this.

There was an infamous case in Australia where a 13yo boy was waiting at a bus stop (in broad daylight). The bus came along but it was running late and the driver knew there was another bus following a few minutes behind so he didn’t stop so he could make up a bit of lost time. By the time the second bus arrived the boy (Daniel Morecombe) had disappeared. He had been abducted and very sadly was murdered. I think rules were changed after that so that bus drivers cannot refuse to stop for a child.

A bus driver can’t just make up a new route and leave a 14yo girl miles from home after dark.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 22:56

armadillio · 26/09/2024 22:26

OP, you seem to be being purposely vague. From what I gather

your child is 14
there were other children on the bus
your child does not have diagnosed SEN

Why can’t you pick up and drop off your own child?

Are you paying for this bus service?

Edited

Her child could well be 13 in Year 9. Whether or not SEN are diagnosed or not, she clearly has difficulties - being diagnosed won't change that. OP said right up there in the first post that she was collecting her other child and that this school is 50 minutes away. OP has said she pays for her child to be dropped at the home stop.

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:55

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:53

Are you sure that's what the contract said? It is a bus not a taxi.

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OP said her home stop, not her actual home. As mentioned, it sounds like the driver did not cover his full route and terminated before her stop.

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:55

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:51

Yes, and in this case the driver failed to travel to all the contracted drop off/pick up points and terminated his route early.

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Again, are you sure of that? It doesn't say that there were no other pupils in the OP.

PorridgeEater · 26/09/2024 22:55

Molly546 · 26/09/2024 21:23

He didn't say that he was over his time though did he. Bus companies are going to factor in for traffic . He also wouldn't give his name so obviously knew he was doing wrong. School bus drivers can't just drop kids off in random places because the traffic is bad, what if the child didn't have a phone? She could also have SEN for all he knows, autistic ds used to get the bus and he would have been distraught about something like this.

You need to complain to the school OP if this is organised by them and if not then you need to complain to the bus company. They will know who was driving even if he wouldn't give you his name.

Edited

This

Lovelysummerdays · 26/09/2024 22:55

My children get school minibuses , private company but paid for by LA. Never been any suggestion that they couldn’t get DC home although occasionally taken an hour plus late but they’d get there.

Id complain to the bus company but I’d expect backtracking, he asked if it’d be possible due to next run being delayed type stuff.

ThisPresetIsSelected · 26/09/2024 22:54

CustardySergeant · 26/09/2024 21:39

"She has suspected (currently undiagnosed) mild autism and was overwhelmed and has only just begun taking the bus two weeks ago and she’s going to be dropped somewhere she doesn’t know in the dark."

How was it dark?

Been on MN many years and this is the most remarkable question I've seen so far.

Yes, OP, please explain how "daylight" just magically "disappears" as time goes on... very convenient you didn't mention this phenomenon before!

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 22:53

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 22:48

It's because my children get a private bus service to and from school that I would be chill about it. I've had 5 years of it now and everything does not always work as it should so having your kids prepared for that is important. Make sure they always have their phone so they can contact you,make sure you are always contactable at the the times you know they are supposed to be on the bus. Stay calm if something crops up your kid will take the lead from you. A quick aw that sucks, wait there/walk to nearby shop/whatever and I'll be with you as soon as I can,

My experience is that shit happens with school buses. On Monday for instance the kids bus just didn't show up, they were 20mins walk from home(where they are supposed to catch the bus), I was about 20mins drive away on my way to work. They rang me when the bus was about 20mins late, I had to turn back, get them, drive 30mins in the opposite direction to my work to drop them to school. They were late, I was late, bus company sent a text at about 1 that day saying that the return bus would be running as usual, no reasons given for the lack of bus in the morning. There was no exploding. No crying. No cross words exchanged. It's a long time to the end of school and if you rely on the bus(and they can refuse to have your child on in future) calm heads all around are needed.

Show quote history

The bus company have you over a barrel. Sounds worse than public transport.