Page 13 | School bus driver refused to drop my daughter home

Theherringbones · 2024-09-26T20:09:58+00:00

My year 9 daughter gets the school bus service home from school everyday. Its a private service for her school only and It’s about a 50 minute journey. Tonight there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads. The driver refused to drop my daughter at her (home) stop as it would take him too long to get there. He said he would drop her somewhere 15 minutes away and she would have to have someone pick her up. She was in tears in the phone to me. The usual 50 minute trip took him about 80 minutes. The bus stop she was dropped at is a clear run to our home as it’s the back roads and there was no traffic on them. I know that it would have taken him an extra 15 minutes to drop her home, but it is his job! I was stuck in the middle of the traffic in the opposite direction, trying to collect my other child and had to make all sorts of crazy arrangements with friends to get to her. Luckily I made it just in time. I had words with him and he was completely rude, ignorant, aggressive and arrogant about it. He refused to give me his name and said it would have take him too long to take her home (it would have been an extra time for him) and there wasn’t another option. How can a private bus service that is the only reason she can attend this school, refuse to drop her home? Am I being unreasonable or should he have dropped her home, no matter what?!

artictern · 26/09/2024 23:14

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:05

@artictern particularly odd when the blame is placed on the child rather than the adult getting paid to do a job. Do the posters do it because they are bored & want to be contrary or do they lack intelligence? I’m never sure tbh!

The unreasonableness of replies on AIBU is a great irony.

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:13

mugboat · 26/09/2024 23:09

I agree with all the sensible people on this thread. Of course the driver shouldn't leave a child in a random spot miles away from home in the dark. Of course it's a safegaurding issue.
He also made assumptions:
-your daughter's phone was charged and had credit
-one of her parents was in a position to be able to pick up her call
-someone with a car was available and nearby to collect her

If I was you, I'd be really angry/upset.

And I don't understand these mumsnetters defending this obvious safegaurding issue.

Edited

They haven't got the faintest clue, that's why!!

Celt2024 · 26/09/2024 23:12

Send him the true story of Daniel Moreombe. A 13 year old boy slaughtered by a pedo because the bus driver was in a hurry and didn't stop to pick him up. Child safety trumps any argument.

www.sbs.com.au/news/article/bus-shouldve-stopped-for-daniel-witness/66i9xnqae

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:12

At exactly this age i got stuck at manchester bus station at 10pm. A coach driver just left me there, having not told me the connecting bus (by same company on one ticket) was meant to get to a relatives house wasnt running. I had to wait 45 mins for a lift. I didn't panic & lose my shit!!

Nobody cares

Treesinmygarden · 26/09/2024 23:11

I deal with disciplinary matters including school bus drivers and I would be all over this!

As for those yapping about your DD crying - they should be ashamed of themselves! It is literally HIS JOB to drop your DD off at the designated bus stop! If there is an issue on the run, then he should have contacted his manager back at the depot and sought further instructions!

They are given a list of drop offs and that is what they are meant to do. He can't just unilaterally decide that he doesn't like the look of the traffic!

Get in contact in the morning with whoever is responsible for providing the bus service, whether that is the school or the LA. Trust me, this is NOT acceptable and do not let him away with it!!

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:11

@UpendedPineapple imagine that being the way to make yourself feel better about your lot, tragic.

Croooos · 26/09/2024 23:11

Some posters on this thread have obviously never left the city. Massive difference being left in the arse of nowhere, patchy signal and fast roads without pavements and being left in a well lit and serviced bus station in Manchester!

Gemmy96 · 26/09/2024 23:10

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:08

Come on - I am a grown adult and i would panic if I was dropped a 2hr walk away from my home and expected to walk along roads with no paths with 60mph traffic, in the dark! It’s very normal this would upset a child

Bloody hell do you not get out much?

No one said she had to walk. She's a teenager. She just had to wait at a bus stop there with friends until a lift got sorted.

At exactly this age i got stuck at manchester bus station at 10pm. A coach driver just left me there, having not told me the connecting bus (by same company on one ticket) was meant to get to a relatives house wasnt running. I had to wait 45 mins for a lift. I didn't panic & lose my shit!!

Are you trying to compete with the OP's child over who's tougher?

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 23:10

@Coruscations

As it is a bus I'd suspect it will be an organised route by the school. In which case I am doubtful it will be a direct to the house kind of deal.

Ohcrap082024 · 26/09/2024 23:10

@Theherringbones you are absolutely right to be very concerned about this and take it further.

My dd is a similar age and in a similar school. We also pay for the bus service. It is a 35 min journey through country lanes. Like you, her home stop is just a few minutes safe walk from our house. There is no way that the driver would leave her in an unfamiliar bus stop and drive off.

if there was a problem with his hours or the bus itself and the journey could not continue, the driver would have to stay with the children until they have all been collected.

Gemmy96 · 26/09/2024 23:09

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:06

She wasn't suddenly dumped though. The op was at the bus stop waiting for her when she got off. The teenager was never actually left alone.

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And what would have happened if mummy wasn't magically available to collect said teenager (child)? The bus driver would have dumped her at an unfamiliar stop with no way of getting home. It's absolutely shocking and crying is to be expected of a child in this situation.

mugboat · 26/09/2024 23:09

I agree with all the sensible people on this thread. Of course the driver shouldn't leave a child in a random spot miles away from home in the dark. Of course it's a safegaurding issue.
He also made assumptions:
-your daughter's phone was charged and had credit
-one of her parents was in a position to be able to pick up her call
-someone with a car was available and nearby to collect her

If I was you, I'd be really angry/upset.

And I don't understand these mumsnetters defending this obvious safegaurding issue.

Phen0menon · 26/09/2024 23:08

Come on - I am a grown adult and i would panic if I was dropped a 2hr walk away from my home and expected to walk along roads with no paths with 60mph traffic, in the dark! It’s very normal this would upset a child

Bloody hell do you not get out much?

No one said she had to walk. She's a teenager. She just had to wait at a bus stop there with friends until a lift got sorted.

At exactly this age i got stuck at manchester bus station at 10pm. A coach driver just left me there, having not told me the connecting bus (by same company on one ticket) was meant to get to a relatives house wasnt running. I had to wait 45 mins for a lift. I didn't panic & lose my shit!!

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:08

If your DC got the train to school and there was a signal failure the train driver wouldn't ring all the parents and wait with teenagers

How is a private bus service the same as a train?

Diyextension · 26/09/2024 23:08

mandajane81 · 26/09/2024 21:52

This is a Safeguarding issue. It is his job to ensure that she is dropped off at her home. Not some random place. She is 9 years old fgs. How could he leave a 9 year old on her own in the dark. I would deffo speak to the school and raise a complaint. They will know who the driver is

Shes not 9 years old. Learn to read the thread.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:08

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:53

Are you sure that's what the contract said? It is a bus not a taxi.

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OP has said she pays for the child to be taken to the home stop. That's clearly a contract.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:06

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:05

Would you be that chilled if you were paying for the bus?

The bus company has a contract with the school. I very much doubt that they can refuse to take a specific child just because they're pissed off that a parent complained when they didn't do their job properly.

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I do pay for the bus. Private bus companies don't tend to pick kids up out of the goodness of their hearts(not that I know of anyway).

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:06

ATenShun · 26/09/2024 22:49

Yes and the contract is normally local pick-up and drop off points. The kids (or their parents) are expected to be able to get to the local collection points. It is the same as expecting pupils within 3 miles of the school to be able to walk in and home.

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Irrelevant to OP as this is a private arrangement.

UpendedPineapple · 26/09/2024 23:06

Inslopia · 26/09/2024 23:05

@artictern particularly odd when the blame is placed on the child rather than the adult getting paid to do a job. Do the posters do it because they are bored & want to be contrary or do they lack intelligence? I’m never sure tbh!

Because they get some weird superiority telling a poster she's irrational for caring about her child.

It's the main reason I rarely post.

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:06

Chipsintheair · 26/09/2024 23:04

Umm, no, crying is a completely normal reaction for a child suddenly dumped alone by the side of a road alone!

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She wasn't suddenly dumped though. The op was at the bus stop waiting for her when she got off. The teenager was never actually left alone.

Coruscations · 26/09/2024 23:05

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 22:48

It's because my children get a private bus service to and from school that I would be chill about it. I've had 5 years of it now and everything does not always work as it should so having your kids prepared for that is important. Make sure they always have their phone so they can contact you,make sure you are always contactable at the the times you know they are supposed to be on the bus. Stay calm if something crops up your kid will take the lead from you. A quick aw that sucks, wait there/walk to nearby shop/whatever and I'll be with you as soon as I can,

My experience is that shit happens with school buses. On Monday for instance the kids bus just didn't show up, they were 20mins walk from home(where they are supposed to catch the bus), I was about 20mins drive away on my way to work. They rang me when the bus was about 20mins late, I had to turn back, get them, drive 30mins in the opposite direction to my work to drop them to school. They were late, I was late, bus company sent a text at about 1 that day saying that the return bus would be running as usual, no reasons given for the lack of bus in the morning. There was no exploding. No crying. No cross words exchanged. It's a long time to the end of school and if you rely on the bus(and they can refuse to have your child on in future) calm heads all around are needed.

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Would you be that chilled if you were paying for the bus?

The bus company has a contract with the school. I very much doubt that they can refuse to take a specific child just because they're pissed off that a parent complained when they didn't do their job properly.

iwfja · 26/09/2024 23:05

Can't believe all the replies on here.
It's completely unacceptable for the bus driver to terminate the route early/take a completely different route and miss out stops and drop a child (yes 13 and 14 year olds are still children) at a stop 15 minutes drive from the stop she was supposed to be dropped off at.
It doesn't matter whether OP's daughter has autism, might have autism but hasn't been diagnosed yet or even if she were neurotypical, the bus driver should have driven her to the stop.
All these people saying in rural areas their kids have to go to a central stop or whatever - completely irrelevant. In this case the contract was to take the child to this particular stop which happened to be near her home. Not drop her off 15 minutes drive away.

OP you should complain to the school and the bus company. This should not have happened.

noworklifebalance · 26/09/2024 23:05

PinkStringofHearts · 26/09/2024 23:02

Maybe but it is the only way my kids can get to school and we can get to work. There is no public transport. Losing your shit over it when it is what it is helps no one.

There is a thread running about anxious kids and dealing with the unexpected with a calm head and just getting on with things is part of modelling calm behaviour to your teenager.So things didn't go how you expected but nothing bad happened and we figured it out together. I have an ASD teen too and this is especially important with him. Life is too short to crying or yelling over a bus.

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You don’t have to justify it - plenty of kids deal with public transport, including mine. This just sounds like a super shit service and being calm is just another way of having to suck it up. They have a monopoly on the school run.

UpendedPineapple · 26/09/2024 23:05

I'm sorry but if I'd paid to be taken somewhere and dumped in the middle of nowhere not knowing I could get home, I'd be bloody upset. Let alone a child.

I'd raise merry hell with the school, as I'm sure other parents will whose children were left in that situation

NauseousNancy · 26/09/2024 23:05

I contract manage school transport. Whatever way anyone wants to dress this up, it’s shit and unacceptable.