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To think that 5 children growing up motherless because their Mum wanted cosmetic surgery is absolutely tragic *edited by MNHQ

583 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 26/09/2024 14:10

And actually a damning indictment of the state our society and the pressure placed on women to conform to increasingly ridiculous and unattainable standards of “beauty”??

A woman in her early-30’s has just died after having a Brazilian butt lift procedure in Gloucestershire, leaving 5 children who will now grow up without their mother. She’s not even the first woman to die after this procedure, which is known to be the most dangerous cosmetic surgery procedure commonly available- just the first to die after having it done in the UK.

What the fuck is going on?? Why are women literally putting their lives on the line trying to mimic some cartoonish Kardashian aesthetic? Is it that we place so little value on our own lives or so much value on appearance? Is it that these surgeries and treatments which were once the preserve of the rich and famous, are now available to pretty much anybody and can be performed by people with next to no qualifications?

I feel so angry for that woman, and desperately sad for her children.

OP posts:
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Bignanna · 26/09/2024 17:16

RitaFires · 26/09/2024 16:54

What a genuinely awful story. Obviously from working in the business she had a skewed idea about the safety of the procedure.

There is no way I would let a non medically trained person inject me for any reason, particularly not in a place that is so risky for embolism.

It ‘s high risk even if a medically trained person does it. It should be banned imo, but then women would just find someone to do it.

WomanFromTheNorth · 26/09/2024 17:16

poppyzbrite4 · 26/09/2024 14:29

There's enormous pressure on women to look a certain way. There always has been but with the advent of social media, they're bombarded with these images 24/7.

Women in the public eye are mocked for any perceived imperfections, then mocked if they have surgery and derided if it goes wrong.

Porn also plays a big part in this; the pornification of women's bodies from removing all body hair, to breast implants to butt lifts. These women are trying to look like sex dolls.

Edited

Yes absolutely this

WomanFromTheNorth · 26/09/2024 17:15

Agree OP. I read it and thought the same. These ridiculous and arbitrary standards of beauty that are imposed on women are fucking awful. It's become so normalised to see young women with pumped up lips, fake boobs, botox. It is so sad and depressing. I feel very angry about it. It's just unfettered capitalism. Something needs to be done. But I don't know what..

Lafondah · 26/09/2024 17:15

GuPuddingRamekinHoarder · 26/09/2024 17:04

Also interesting that 90% of plastic surgeons in the UK are men…

Compared to how many aestheticians who are mainly women. Skilled vs unskilled.

Birdscratch · 26/09/2024 17:14

reesewithoutaspoon · 26/09/2024 17:09

It's a very sad and unnecessary death,
The guy who did it had quite a big social media presence, had been on botched, and was selling dodgy weight loss jabs without regulation. It sounds like he was a right cowboy.
There needs to be regulation in this industry, anyone can do a one-day course and then go about injecting foreign substances into people with minimal knowledge of facial structures and how to deal with complications.

Social media has a big part to play in presenting a fake standard of beauty. Hardly any of these influencers post without beauty filters or editing. Its an unrealistic and unobtainable beauty standard leading some people to get more and more work done to try and achieve what they see online.
It's not only women, loads of bodybuilders/fitness gurus have died before hitting 40 due to steroid abuse. All to look good for Instagram.

I would love it if the social media companies who profit from carrying and amplifying this kind of content were held legally and financially liable for the consequences. Can you imagine just how fast all those the ads would disappear?

Allfur · 26/09/2024 17:13

Moonlitwalk · 26/09/2024 15:20

I also agree. I have asked my male friends and colleagues their opinions on this stuff before and the overwhelming response is- they hate the way it looks.

I have yet to come across a single man who says their dream is meeting a woman who has had a bum enhancement or inflated lips. Quite the contrary, they are vocally against it. I dont know where this idea comes from that it's men encouraging women to get this stuff done, it isnt. It's women who have bought into this idea from social media that it attracts men when in reality it's off-putting to them.

Do you actually believe them?!

BeyondShocked · 26/09/2024 17:12

poppyzbrite4 · 26/09/2024 15:32

I didn't say that using deodorant was capitulating to social pressure, I said that shaving was. I was making a point about how women are pressured to look a certain way.

You not shaving doesn't mean that other women don't or that you don't do other things in order to conform to social norms.

I didn’t say you were saying using deodorant was capitulating to social pressure 😂

Someone said that they preferred how their legs felt from shaving and you said “no, it’s because of societal pressure blah blah”.

You shaving doesn’t mean that other women do, or that they do things just to conform to social norms. Some people are contrarians or just DGAF

Bignanna · 26/09/2024 17:10

Onlyonekenobe · 26/09/2024 17:03

Aren't good enough for what? To exist?

I would really love to hear the inner monologue of the sort of woman who thinks this way. I'm lacking in imagination, obviously. My inner monologue when I see this aesthetic is a not-very-sophisticated "they all look the same. What's so amazing about big lips: is it that men will want to kiss you? All that hair must take so long to wash/dry/style, how do they find the time? How can she see through those lashes? Do they drag the upper eyelid down or are they featherlight? Teeth look well maintained, obviously has good dental hygiene. Is that real skin or make up? Oh to be young again" etc etc.

I would so, so love to hear what a 19/20/however many years old woman thinks when she sees this look on another woman.

They have low esteem because they think they’re not as “pretty” as one of these filtered clones imo.
I imagine a 19-20 year old thinks ”I want to look like that, pretty girls get the best looking men, and other girls envy them”
I wouldn’t be thinking ( as an older woman) that they had good dental hygiene, I’d be thinking “ wow, those Turkey teef are blinding, what a shame she’s wrecked her natural teeth to get them!”

housethatbuiltme · 26/09/2024 17:10

Candlelitlunch · 26/09/2024 16:55

Quite a few women saying that they shave their legs because it's more comfortable rather than societal pressure. Can anyone explain why lots of men aren't shaving their legs because it's more comfortable? Why is having hairy legs only something that is uncomfortable for women? And does that mean you will also shave your arms?

I don't shave very often because frankly I'm way too lazy for all that but some hair is different to other hair.

I can rock leg hair with no issue at all pretty much and do about 98% of the time.

I do find when it gets to long the 'undercarriage' area becomes an issue, no one like 'matting' during their period etc... so a splodge of hair remover every couple of months to keep it manageable length.

Armpits use to cause an issue in summer as it was thick ridged hair and like wire rubbing, then when combined with sweat it cause actual horrible chaffing irritation. I had them lasered and while the hair still grows there its thin, soft and downy now not thick and wirey so no longer an issue that needs shaving.

I had laser for me not men as the hair caused a painful issues and with shaving I get razor burn and then the hair grows back pointy/sharp and rubs on clothes like its bloody velcro which drives me mad.

I have been with DH since 18, he has seen all my body and hair and isn't bothered at all (I could role in mud and wear a potato sack and he would still manage to get horny lol) and I have no need to impress any other men.

dottiehens · 26/09/2024 17:09

5 kids should have been her priority not her looks. Unless, the husband was manipulating her. I had aesthetic operations in the past but since becoming a mother it would never happen again. I am not taking risks for vanity. Also, what an unattractive operation. Can’t think of a more ugly and vulgar woman than Kim Kardashian and her big chassis bum.

reesewithoutaspoon · 26/09/2024 17:09

It's a very sad and unnecessary death,
The guy who did it had quite a big social media presence, had been on botched, and was selling dodgy weight loss jabs without regulation. It sounds like he was a right cowboy.
There needs to be regulation in this industry, anyone can do a one-day course and then go about injecting foreign substances into people with minimal knowledge of facial structures and how to deal with complications.

Social media has a big part to play in presenting a fake standard of beauty. Hardly any of these influencers post without beauty filters or editing. Its an unrealistic and unobtainable beauty standard leading some people to get more and more work done to try and achieve what they see online.
It's not only women, loads of bodybuilders/fitness gurus have died before hitting 40 due to steroid abuse. All to look good for Instagram.

Josette77 · 26/09/2024 17:09

challengingaminime · 26/09/2024 16:37

I'm probably showing my age but when I was her age I was paranoid about my bum looking too big and when girls when shopping together you'd often hear 'does my bum look big in this? (With the hope it didn't.
Now it's with the hope it does. I still couldn't imagine wanting to look like I had a bigger bum than I did. I was proud of my pert little bum in my youth.

That's not a better message though. Plus bigger butts are coveted in different communities.

Bigger butts and curvier women are typically in the black and latina community, and for once we are the ideal.

Cattenberg · 26/09/2024 17:08

Function · 26/09/2024 14:14

Sure - but men don’t seem to be dying from BBLs in the same way. Why’s that?

I will never forget the seemingly fit and healthy young man in my home town who died aged 20 after minor cosmetic surgery. I think he had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. Apparently he had always felt self-conscious about one of his facial features, but I saw a pre-op photo of him in our local paper and couldn’t tell what was supposed to be wrong with it. Poor bloke and his poor family.

Pyjamatimenow · 26/09/2024 17:07

JessiJen · 26/09/2024 16:36

Not to be facetious but wouldn't eating chocolate and crips get your there in a more enjoyable way? I have a big bum and hate it, why the hell are people doing this?

Depends on how you put on fat. More likely to just get a fat bum and a big belly. The look is a small waist and a big bum. Not naturally achievable for most without some kind of surgical intervention. The sad thing is that what she’s had is a non surgical option that people normally go for when they can’t afford the surgery or think it’s a safer, less invasive option

L108763 · 26/09/2024 17:07

I can only fathom that it’s a form of body dysmorphia. In no way, shape, or form, would I subject my body(or my children) to this type of butchery. Zero sympayhy for the mother. So much sorrow for the children

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 26/09/2024 17:07

This constant desire to perform for the male gaze

Speak for yourself.

Birdscratch · 26/09/2024 17:06

Reading the BBC article, the procedures should be banned in the U.K. It shouldn’t be left up to individual councils to ban specific companies from specific procedures. This is a public health issue.

Collins said: “Liquid BBL procedures are a crisis waiting to happen. They are advertised on social media as ‘risk-free’, ‘cheaper’ alternatives to the surgical counterpart and that could not be further from the truth.”
She told BBC Radio 5 Live that facial fillers are "relatively safe", due to the small amount of product being injected.
However, the "huge volumes" used in BBLs present a higher risk of complications.
"I can't stress strongly enough how incredibly dangerous these procedures are, especially as they are often being [performed] in non-sterile and non-clinical environments by people with no healthcare experience, often using unlicensed products that are not fit for purpose," Ms Collins said

Allfur · 26/09/2024 17:06

GuPuddingRamekinHoarder · 26/09/2024 16:59

Especially given body hair is designed to protect the skin and regulate our temperature.

For most people shaving = in grown hairs. It’s not natural to shave, as shaving removes layer of skin.

Edited

Comfortable, my arse - and dont even get me started on anal waxing

Superhansrantowindsor · 26/09/2024 17:06

As parents we should do more to help out girls have confidence in natural beauty. I work in a high school. When I qualified girls would wear concealer and foundation. Then they started wearing mascara and lipstick. Few years later and the eyebrow thing started and the orange tan. Then acrylic nails started appearing, contouring followed and now we have kids in year 8 coming to school with fake eyelashes on. Sure some of them sneak it in in the loos but plenty are dropped off by their parents wearing all of this and they done seem to have a problem with it. It’s at this age the problems start. Absolutely awful what young girls and women do to themselves in the name of beauty.

GuPuddingRamekinHoarder · 26/09/2024 17:05

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 26/09/2024 17:04

Why is it when a woman does something stupid she is some sort of victim of society? This woman was an idiot and her children will grow up believing this. So are all the other women who go around trying to meddle with their faces or their bodies. They choose to spend money on these products, often to the detriment of their children if they have them.They don't give a shit about the environmental or ethical impact of anything they do, they spend their time scrolling through Instagram to the point that they create a distorted view of normal life. I dont know of any nice smart woman who behaves like this. I'll be honest and say i don't like women like this and don't respect them. I certainly don't feel sorry for them.

This woman was an idiot and her children will grow up believing this.

Uncalled for. Her children will miss their mum. Sounds like you’ve had a procedure too - an empathy bypass.

Storybot · 26/09/2024 17:05

Moonlitwalk · 26/09/2024 15:20

I also agree. I have asked my male friends and colleagues their opinions on this stuff before and the overwhelming response is- they hate the way it looks.

I have yet to come across a single man who says their dream is meeting a woman who has had a bum enhancement or inflated lips. Quite the contrary, they are vocally against it. I dont know where this idea comes from that it's men encouraging women to get this stuff done, it isnt. It's women who have bought into this idea from social media that it attracts men when in reality it's off-putting to them.

My previous reply was supposed to quote this

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 26/09/2024 17:04

Why is it when a woman does something stupid she is some sort of victim of society? This woman was an idiot and her children will grow up believing this. So are all the other women who go around trying to meddle with their faces or their bodies. They choose to spend money on these products, often to the detriment of their children if they have them.They don't give a shit about the environmental or ethical impact of anything they do, they spend their time scrolling through Instagram to the point that they create a distorted view of normal life. I dont know of any nice smart woman who behaves like this. I'll be honest and say i don't like women like this and don't respect them. I certainly don't feel sorry for them.

GuPuddingRamekinHoarder · 26/09/2024 17:04

Also interesting that 90% of plastic surgeons in the UK are men…

Onlyonekenobe · 26/09/2024 17:03

Bignanna · 26/09/2024 16:38

Because young, impressionable girls see what they regard as perfection, flawless complexion, thick, glossy hair, long lashes, puffed up lips, pert straight noses, perfect slim figure, unbelievably blinding white, straight teeth. They feel insecure about their own looks and think they aren’t good enough.

Aren't good enough for what? To exist?

I would really love to hear the inner monologue of the sort of woman who thinks this way. I'm lacking in imagination, obviously. My inner monologue when I see this aesthetic is a not-very-sophisticated "they all look the same. What's so amazing about big lips: is it that men will want to kiss you? All that hair must take so long to wash/dry/style, how do they find the time? How can she see through those lashes? Do they drag the upper eyelid down or are they featherlight? Teeth look well maintained, obviously has good dental hygiene. Is that real skin or make up? Oh to be young again" etc etc.

I would so, so love to hear what a 19/20/however many years old woman thinks when she sees this look on another woman.

Allfur · 26/09/2024 17:03

Runnerinthenight · 26/09/2024 16:29

Most of them shave their faces surely?

Some sportsman shave/wax their legs?

It's not de rigeur for women to shave legs and pits for that matter? In fact some probably don a winter coat??

Sports men shave their legs for sports reasons. Men can choose to have beards or not. Meanwhile, a woman with full hairy leg and armpit is rarely seen in our society. It's masculine to be hursute, and feminine to be denuded, according to our society norms.