Leaving baby alone in another room

OP, at that age I wouldn't leave alone for more than a few minutes tops, and ideally to go no further than to grab laundry as you were. Asking your partner to bring the laptop downstairs to the baby rather than expect you to come upstairs was extremely sensible and not onerous for him.

I do find though that dads in general seem to educate themselves/absorb that education far less than mothers. I don't think they've received the same social pressures at all. Mine used to scoff at things like not putting baby in a coat while in a car seat, never nipping out of the room when they are IN THE BATH. There's none so confident as a man who's done zero research.

Mine are all grown up now, but when they were they were that age I would have used a playpen to safely leave in if I needed to go upstairs and get washing etc, not just leave on the floor.

I’d check every 2 minutes

They didn't say they never leave their baby alone at all, they just don't leave the baby alone on the floor.

Wouldn’t leave them at all on the play mat. He may not be fully rolling yet but at his age it’ll be any day now and you don’t want him flipping over into the sofa leg or coffee table. I would leave them safely contained in a pram, cot or bouncer so long as they within earshot but would still check in every few minutes!

This is a perfectly reasonable thing to ask. Everybody needs a sounding board sometimes, even "perfectly intelligent" adults. Especially if their instinct on something is being refuted by someone else.

Your condescending attitude is a problem. Someone asking for advice on how to care for their baby - as mothers always have in one medium or another - is doing absolutely the right thing. Is it the fact we are doing it online that riles you up?

Why ? Do you watch over your baby 24/7, Do you have a sleep rota with your partner ? What do you do with them when you go to the loo. You do not need eyes on your baby every moment of every day and your baby needs to learn to be alone.

So then she's coming downstairs with a four month old baby and an armfull of washing. Not sure that's safer.

Op od have done what you did, the twenty seconds to grab something. If DH had called me to speak to me, I'd have walked off and told him to come down to us. You did nothing wrong

I wouldn’t leave a four month old alone in a room on the floor for any time. I would bring with me.

I never left my baby at that age on their own, but we had a small open plan flat so no stairs, we spent most of the time in the kitchen/living area and it was easy to bring them with me.

I am so sorry OP that you feel you have to even ask this question.
What on earth is going on in our society when perfectly intelligent adults have to ask how long they can leave their baby for or go in to a panic because they fed their baby some mash potato ?
This is not a dig at individuals it is a concern at what is happening. Why is common sense lacking, is there too much information shoved at people these days that they can't think for themselves or is it because we live more isolated lives and don't have family contact like we used too. It really is worrying.

This is a perfect example of the dangers of leaving a baby/small child for "just a second" or "just a minute." You can get distracted and that one minute turns into five.

A few mins, enough time to go to the toilet/answer door/pop upstairs. Not for
any length of time, I’d take them with me.

To go to the toilet or make a cup of tea; mine didn’t really like being left alone and my second was very wriggly so could easily get himself in odd positions or get stuck rolling one way

Only a moment or two in that scenario.

If baby were safely confined in a bouncy chair, bum seat, car seat, etc - a little longer.

A mobile baby - as long as it takes to pop to another room to pick something up and back. Anything longer or out of earshot I'd take the baby with me.

So easy for babies to roll off and pull a lamp onto their heads, start eating out of plant pots etc!

I wouldn't and certainly not at four months where they could suddenly master the art of rolling over and get into difficulty or access something g that they shouldn't.

Single mum and sometimes had to leave the baby. Floor is the safest place, especially when they are not yet mobile. I wouldn't leave them for more than 1 minute or 2. Now I have a playpen which gives me more peace of mind as she starting to crawl. Will leave her for 10 mins or so, listening like a hawk. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on a conversation as I'd be distracted and wanting to check on the baby

At 4 months I felt like I was watching mine constantly because she was rolling both ways starting to push up etc but not yet strong enough so could easily get stuck in an awkward position.. there was a lot of face planting. Also if not mobile yet there is ALWAYS a first time.

No longer than a few minutes really, if I had to go upstairs for longer (ie putting a mountain of washing around) I'd just bring the baby with me. My little one used to just come everywhere with me but he did not stop crying so 😅

I wouldn't, only to grab something out the kitchen so maybe 10 or 20 seconds? I put baby in a crib downstairs if I needed to do anything longer. I have pets, they can roll unexpectedly, older child is still only 4. Didn't feel safe to leave baby. But I'm very cautious of sids due to having an infant loss previous to my youngest. Still I wouldn't recommend leaving baby alone on playmat. My youngest is 9 months now, crawling everywhere so we've got a playpen, you can get them with a newborn insert too

If I was going up stairs I'd take baby with me. I'd check on baby every couple of minutes if I'm not in same room, I'd always try to be on same floor tho.
I mean, we gotta get things done.

I just nip into kitchen maybe to get a coffee but don't leave her for more than 2-3 minutes