Leaving baby alone in another room

Like 30 seconds? It only takes a matter of seconds for something to happen. So yeah, barely that. Absolutely wild some of these comments.

A baby in a different room to you isn't a baby alone? I wouldn't have left them to go and sleep in another room, but to go to the loo, have a shower, put a wash on, yes I would. Obvs not by the time they were crawling.

In that scenario just to grab the washing and back again. Your husband CBA.

I didn't. I'd pop them in the cot/travel cot I used as a "pen" if I needed to use the loo or something, but for anything longer I'd bring them with me. I had a place in each room where I could safely plonk so I could do what I needed to do.

I regularly left mine to nap on the floor when they'd fallen asleep on the play mat, so for as long as a nap.

No you were not being unreasonable. 20 minutes is much too long to leave a baby alone

I would have left my DS at that age to grab something from kitchen, grab the washing pile or make a quick tea. Your DH is unreasonable though, In fact I’d be worried about leaving baby alone with him in future if he thinks leaving unattended for 20 mins is fine

Perhaps 2 mins if I was answering the door or using the loo. Maximum.

I have a dog, so no matter how well I know and trust him, one of them will be leaving the room with me if I have to go elsewhere in the house or garden. If baby is happy and chilling in their basket/bouncer for a bit, I’ll take the dog with me. If baby is fussing or grizzling, they can come with me and give the dog a bit of peace

Don’t think I’d ever leave them unattended on a mat as sod’s law that will be the time I discover that they can roll/crawl!

Regardless of safety - you're looking after a 4 month old, he's sitting on his bum wfh all day. He can come to you.

Same. They would need to be in a safe place for me to leave them such as a bouncer with obviously no access to blankets/toys etc that could suffocate them/choke on.

Surely your house isn't big enough that you can't hear them gurgling, laughing or just wriggling about?
You're putting washing away, not going our for a bloody meal!

In fact I missed her first back to front roll because I was upstairs on the loo

We only have an upstairs toilet and I used to leave mine on our totter and tumble to go upstairs to use the loo so like, 5 mins with dancing fruits on the TV to keep her occupied

A few minute max. Long enough to get the washing from upstairs, or put the washing machine on

I was told, assured, that my grandson would not roll off the settee and that he could be safely left there while sleeping.

Fortunately I was sitting very close by when he woke up and (for the first time ever) rolled… all the way off the settee.

I did my best goalie dive and managed to catch him before he hit the floor.

The first roll catches many caregivers out. Thankfully my granny spidey senses were at full force that day.

I would have a spot as safe as a cot - so a play pen with a firm base and appropriate toys or a playroom with no dangers.
I would leave the baby for as long as it takes to finish a task - fifteen minutes or half an hour or until baby called for me.
That is if I planned to leave them.
If caught unawares (answering door or getting drink for older child etc.) I would only leave them for a minute or two.

maybe only when I need to go to the toilet

There is a huge difference between leaving a baby on a mat, or leaving a baby on a mat in a contained space e.g. baby play pen. I wouldn't personally leave them without knowing they were contained.

Well OP specified that there was no playpen to safely leave the baby in so in her example I would maybe pop him into his cot upstairs while I brought down washing etc & then nipped back up to get him or maybe carried both together, with washing in a bag, depending on how heavy / awkward it was.

In reality I used a playpen for these sorts of situations rather than leaving a baby on the floor.

The main issue in this case is that the baby, who is of rolling age, was left on the floor. Not that they were left for a few minutes. And it’s not unreasonable that the OP wants a sense check because your newborn isn’t going off the playmat so you could in theory pop to the loo if they’re happy, but there comes a point, which is exactly around the age OP’s baby is now, where you have to start thinking about containment. How many babies get hurt when they surprise they caregiver by making their first roll off the changing table? It clearly isn’t that obvious to a lot of people otherwise those injuries wouldn’t occur.

I agree. Why would a 4 month old need to learn to be alone?

I left baby upstairs in her cot to nap from 2 months old whilst I was downstairs, but I wouldn't leave baby on a playmat in a different room for more than a couple of mins, mainly because she'd notice me not there and cry. Definitely put her in a cot or playpen once she's rolling over.

Not condescending at all and certainly not riled. I feel really sorry for those mothers that are so scared to leave their child for a minute, it is worrying that such pressure it put on them.

A 4-month-old does not need to learn to be alone.