Dh always prioritising our son

He needs to read one of those parenting books on raising boys vs girls and then he'll realise he's doing it.

@doggdoodle sounds like his is how his parents may have behaved. You either separate, or you pull him up on every single occurrence until he gets the message (then separate if he can’t change). Otherwise he is perpetuating the ‘women are second class’ nonsense.

This will only get worse Op, he'll expect your DDs to help in the house but not his boy, more freedom for his boy, more money. Your son will grow up just as sexist as his dad. Time to mark his cards that if this goes on you'll be having a serious think aboit divorce

I would have laughed in his face and signed my daughter up for football

Be more assertive or divorce

I think that if he refuses to see it and change, despite your best efforts, then you have to divorce him. Otherwise your children, the girls and the boy, will grow up thinking that this sort of misogyny is not just normal, but acceptable.

Your husband sounds disgusting. Sorry I can't think of much advice to offer, apart from maybe asking someone else to call out his behaviour, if he's not listening to you.

I'm wondering if this male originates from a particularly patriarchal culture?

OP, you have to also remember that your son will pick up on your behaviour too.
It's very natural to want to compensate for dh's behaviour bit ds will start picking up on it ( just as girls will pick up on dad)
And then it can easily later become 'mommy was always sticking up for the girls and that's why daddy was softer with little johnny)
I'd have a frank conversation. Or videotape. You just told Sarah she cannot have a biscuit so johnny is not having one either.
Sometimes they don't realise what they are doing and its hard to hear that you are favouring a child

And if it doesn't change my best advice is to remember not to do the same (ie be softer on the girls than on your son)
Because then in essence you are doing the same as your husband. ( It doesn't matter if it is in response to dh -its still wrong from your side)

He's a fucking idiot. No more, no less.

I believe some of DHs absolute proudest moments as a father have been spent watching his DD play football for a local team.
This Muppet is going to miss out on so much with 2/3 of his children if he doesn't wise up.

If he doesn't take what you're saying seriously and at least reflect on why you are saying it then I'm afraid you're just another female and therefore lesser being in his life. Just like your precious daughters.

I'd be seriously considering whether I want my son to grow up to be just like daddy, and whether I'd be happy for my daughters to marry a man who treats them with contempt just like daddy.

If you split then you can treat them equally. That will be a lot more beneficial than the current situation where you end up torn and over compensating. If you split their father's behaviour is not being condoned by you. So at least they have one decent parent.
I agree with a pp who said your son stands to lose as much as your daughters. Your husband is destroying the sibling relationship. That's not in your son's interests.

I think only an ultimatum works, equal treatment or it's the end. It's not doing the same clubs, it's equal money for instance. Misogyny is alive and well alas.

Your dh is sexist. You can have a frank and open conversation with him and ask him to change, seek help, but it will be difficult for him as it’s internalised and he has to want to do it himself, not because you’ve asked him to, so unlikely he will. Then you need to ask yourself if you want to stay with him if he won’t change. as per pp’s for me the answer would be no.

If he won’t acknowledge his sexism, there is little chance he will change his mind. He is instilling the same values in his kids. You can either accept it or leave him.

Tell him - if you won’t acknowledge your favouritism and address it, I can’t see any future in our marriage.

This

How can he deny the football discrepancy??

Did you know he was a misogynist before having kids with him?
He's a fundamentally terrible person, openly and actively damaging your kids. They'll all need therapy if they're not yet attending any.

He's hardly going to say 'yes, I am knuckledragging trash' easy to just lie and deny he's damaging his kids. Trying to get him to admit his misogyny is futile.

But Op's DDs would know, because their mother has shown them, that misojynistic behaviour is not acceptable and that she has done everything she could to protect them from it.

He is a repulsive, misogynistic throwback. My god. What a failure he is.

Please leave to protect your children from his abhorrent mindset.

Even if you divorced your stupid husband would still treat your son differently during time he had them and then you wouldn't be around to compensate to the girls.

I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

Have you spoken to him about why he doesn't support your daughter with joining a football team? What are his reasons (can't think of any myself with it not being a money issue).

There are plenty of girl football teams in my area with lots of dads at the sidelines supporting their daughters. Would he proudly sit and watch if his son wanted to join a dance club or gymnastics?

He should be treating all his children the same, from what you have mentioned, he must realise he isn't treating all the children fairly.

Wow what a nasty misogynistic ass hole you have there
Why didn't you insist she could fo football

It seems like your DDs have a father who does not love them.

This is not fair on your girls as well as your DS because it will lead to resentment which could cause jealousy. All children must be treated equally, it's equivalent to emotional neglect otherwise.

I know you know that ALL of your children matter, hence the reason you posted, you need to have some serious words with your DP as his behaviour towards his DDs is appalling and will cause deep insecurities in them as they get older.

The football club is a good, clear example of where he's applying a different rule to different children and it's obviously unfair.

Does your DD still want to play football? If so, find her a club to join. I wouldn't tolerate any nonsense from your husband about that. Be clear: we can't treat her differently because she's a girl, that's not fair.

Do the same with specific things, e.g. he shouts at DD for not picking her plate up, you remind him that DS has left his plate too, why is it different? I'd be pointing it out every single time, because your daughters will be feeling the injustice and need to know you see it too.

Ultimately, I wouldn't want to stay with him but I get that splitting up may make things worse for the girls because you won't be there to defend them.

Call him out on it every single time. Does your dd still want to play football ? If dhe does then get her in a club. He doesn't have any excuse since there is money for ds. Can you get his family onboard ?