Dh always prioritising our son

Urgh sounds like my bil

Yes, a misogynistic human. Are you suggesting that’s not a problem?

So he's financially abusive as well.

Good times.

I'd get legal advice about what you'd likely be entitled to if you divorced him.

Sorry, but your husband is a sexist asshole, OP.

'Boys will be boys' misogyny is horrible (boys can be loud; girls can't. boys can play football; girls can't. I'll fund a boy playing football/sport, but not a girl. Boys need to move; girls don't. and so on). And for your girls to have to be raised in their own home, which is supposed to be a safe place, by someone who clearly believes and fosters this nonsense, would be a red flag for me.

I would be demanding family counselling over this or pursuing a divorce if he refused to go.

Keep track of his behaviour on this. Write it down. Sit him down. Show him how he is absolutely treating your son differently than he treats the girls, everything from money, to sport, to time, to noise levels, to getting new stuff.

This isn't fair to your daughters and it will only get worse, especially since he's denying he's behaving like this when he clearly is.

Yes, this.
And the husband is just a human being, after all.
What if the girls were preferred?

Your poor girls, he’s setting a disgusting example for them. I don’t know how you can stand such a misogynistic prick. Why don’t you have access to the savings account?

That's just so sad, mean and awful. Show him this thread -
buy him only books about how females should be treated equally for Xmas! EG something about '' How not to be a mean misogynist pig!'' etc.

Do you want your daughter's in a marriage like yours?

If not you need to leave. By staying you are teaching them it's ok for them and you to be treated like this.

I've only read the Op as that was enough.

Divorce, don't send the girls, let him have his precious son if he wants. Eventually the son will see his dad treats his sisters badly and won't want to know. Ime brothers do not like it when their sister isn't treated right..

Patriarchy and misogyny written large for you and your daughters to see. It stinks, as does his control of all the finances.

Reminds me of friends who insisted on sending their son to an expensive private school as it was "more important for boys" while the daughters went to state. The son is a spoiled twat in his late 20s, never graduated from uni because he couldn't be bothered to do any work, yet his parents still think the sun shines out of his arse.

No need to wonder where male entitlement comes from.

Sounding very like he's financially abusive to you too.

I agree with pp that there's more going on here for you.

I'd put money on it that this utter misogynistic twat expects that when he's an old man, that caring for elderly parents will be a woman's job.
Luckily he has two lovely daughters that he's treated just as well as his son, who are bound to want to return the love, respect and support he's given them over the years.....oh wait....
You need to stand up for your girls each and every time and if he keeps shutting you down you know he has zero respect for you and your girls.

So which account does the money you earn go into and do you have any control over it? TBH this is sounding worse and worse with each update.

This is misogyny, as you're aware. He's explaining away your son's behaviour as "boys will be boys" whilst simultaneously holding the women folk to much higher standards and having expectations of them that are impossible to live up to, thereby making them feel like they're always falling short and setting them up for a lifetime of self blame, failed self esteem and people pleasing behaviour. A story as old as time. I'm not sure what you do about it, op, especially as you've tried to make him see reason.

My dh is actually harder on our son than our daughter. He's the eldest by 6 years though, and also dh doesn't want ds to make the same mistakes he did, which I think has a lot to do with it. It's a cause of frequent tension in our house. Luckily, although he needs reminding, dh does actually tone it down, and apologises when he's at fault.

Stop your pay going directly into the joint account. You can put in a proportion, but you shouldn’t have to ask for money for stuff, unless it’s like a new car or something.

How painfully sad! I'm so sorry!!!

He's a sexist, misogynistic prick.
Both in relation to you and your children.

You can prove it to him. Point out the unfairness of what he’s doing each and every time. Zero tolerance.

So he's financially abusive as well as a common or garden misogynist?

Why do the two of you believe 'he has the final say'?

Do you not consider yourselves equals? Because you are equals.

I would suspect both of you have grown up in misogynistic environments, and know nothing else. You are now, currently, carrying on this horrible cycle for your children.

Break the cycle.

Divorce him

He'll have a fucking shit load of shocks about money, then

Wanker

Your finances sounds awful. Do you claim the child benefit? Can you put that in an account for you and use it for DD football etc? Do you work and have access to any income?

What a complete arse hole. Do you have any family or friends who also have noticed the behaviour and he might listen to? As if it isn't hard enough growing up female...

Sounds like there’s a fuckload more to this that will only strengthen our resolve in telling you to leave this failure of a father…. Why don’t you have access to equal money?!