To ban spooning between certain hours

The thing with being grabbed from behind when you are cooking or washing up is really annoying because it hinders what you are trying to get on with (why is always me trying to get on with something? Why do you have so much time to float about hugging people?) but also because I suspect the wave of soppiness is to do with seeing you in your “rightful” place, nurturing

Yes it's fine to kill him in these circumstances.

Slightly less drastic if you are generally fond of him, start sleeping in separate beds. You can enthusiastically join him for snuggles when you have woken up and have time and have had enough sleep (set the alarm for 15 minutes before the kids are going to start moving)

Selfish prick. My DH is a hugger but he also wants me to sleep so he accepts that we have a super king bed and separate duvets so I can sleep well because he's not an arsehole. Does your H genuinely think he should be able to use you as a human sleep aid regardless of your needs or is this a joke?

My ideal would be a double bed each.

Sadly we only have room for a superking.

We have a mattress & quilt each.

I think a standard double bed gives the two adults a cot bed size width of mattress each!

YANBU at all. This would make me murderous.

This is a great example of someone being an entitled bully but disguising it as love and affection. With our partners, once we have said from the first moment that we don’t like something they do, they should STOP doing that the first time, not the second, not the third, the FIRST!

Any excuse such as, I do it because I love you, why don’t you want me to be affectionate? That’s just trying to make themselves the victim and bulling you.

This is the equivalent to a partner being annoyed that they are awake and the person they apparently love is sound asleep and poking them or coughing loudly so they wake up. Then they are also suffering awake and your partner can drift off knowing they fucked you over!

I hate to admit this, but I'm occasionally guilty of this. Even worse, when I've (rarely) woken him up, I've told him that he was having a nightmare and I was cuddling him to calm him down.

Ask for this thread to be deleted before you justifiably murder him.

You're not a comfort object.

Next time -

-sorry you’ll have to do dinner tonight. I’m too tired after you waking me up last night.
-sorry you’ll have to drive. I’m too tired after you waking me up last night
-sorry you’ll have to sleep in the spare/on couch for tonight, I need to catch up on sleep very badly and I can’t trust you not to wake me

etc

Fuck that! Tell him to stop

My partner sometimes snuggles into me in the night.. I just shrug him off usually!
I don't like spooning at any time.(to me)
Though I like to cuddle into my partner at night but even he will need me to move eventually.
I also can't be doing with him coming over expecting a random hug or kiss because it's always always when I'm in the middle of making a meal.
Who said romance was dead? Ha

So, to make sure he gets his sleep, you have to sacrifice yours?
What a pile of crap

Yep - we have exactly this agreement! Dp used to like to come and spoon me if he woke up in the middle of the night - would settle him down but wake me up - so I imposed a spooning ban from the time we go to sleep to the time I wake up, as he usually sleeps like the dead but I really struggle. He agreed because he gets that my sleep is stupidly fragile and so am I if I don't get any...

A super King bed is also the best thing I have ever bought - space and peace...!! 😀

My DH does that. He thinks it’s loving and intimate. I think it’s fucking annoying.

Ditto for the cuddles from behind when I’m buzzing about trying to do something, like folding washing or putting dishes away. I’d find help more romantic!

DP is like this, sometimes I feel like a teddy! Get the biggest bed you can and build a wall of pillows up the middle. Or separate bedrooms.

Time for separate bedrooms?

He snuggles himself back to sleep by waking you?

What he's showing you there is that he believes his sleep is more important than yours. He needs to be called out on that.

Selfish arse.

What is it with these men?

My husband has a tendency to squeeze me in the night, like I'm a bloody comfort toy. He will reach over and lay his hand on my hip and proceed to squeeze and knead me.

I fucking hate it, it keeps me awake. He has got somewhat better after 10 years. I now try to go to bed first as he doesn't do it often when I'm already asleep.

I may have been known to growl

Really selfish of him.
Deffo get him one of those enormous u shaped pregnancy pillows. That will trap him on his side of the bed.

I would be livid if my DP tried this with me. My sleep is as important as his.

If your DH is too selfish or stupid to understand that he can't just use you as a sleep aid, then you'll have to get separate beds.

I suppose you could offer to swaddle him before he goes to sleep. It does work with some babies.

I'm a very light sleeper and I also can't regulate my internal thermostat since menopause. I'm always throwing off the bedcovers because of a heat surge. If someone so much as touched me when I'm sleeping I'd throttle them. I'm an advocate for separate beds, even separate rooms if your spouse snored like mine did, to get a good night's rest.

That would make me murderous.

Lighthearted aside-listen to what he is saying-it is very problematic as he is saying you need to help him sleep when it suits him regards of your needs/wishes or impact on your sleep.

A conversation needs to be had-in the daylight and out of bed-where you make your very reasonable boundaries clear.

What about getting him one of those pillows for pregnant women that are sort of like a hugging pillow?

You’re not his fucking comfort toy! Put a large bolster down the middle of the bed, or do separate rooms if he doesn’t reform.

My partner sets an alarm so he has time to cuddle me. I find it so fucking irritating.