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Original poster

Most pleasant way to split and clear Grandparents house

189 replies

MotherWill · 26/09/2024 07:57

How do you do it?
Big house, lots of people hosted over the years, everyone feels they have a stake in it. The couple are suddenly looking very frail and I can sense old sibling rivalries and the grandchildren jostling.

What's the fairest/kindest/least traumatic way to handle the logistics.

Three siblings plus long term partners
Six grandchildren from 22 to 17.

Obviously in an ideal world it would all fall magically into place but after overhearing a grandchild picking through Granny's jewellery box I think we have trouble ahead.

What's works? What doesn't?

OP posts:
JohnSt1 · 26/09/2024 08:18

I'd love to be able to see my relatives' faces when they realise my house is going to my friend's children. The cousins have started circling already.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 26/09/2024 08:09

I'm one of five. When my mum died we all got together and starting with the eldest, each picked something we wanted. Then we went round again starting with the youngest and so on Everyone got a "first" turn. Mum had left a list so we honoured that obviously. Grandchildren were not involved and apart from her wedding ring (now my wedding ring) she had no jewellery.

BMW6 · 26/09/2024 08:08

So what did you say to the person picking through someone else's jewellery box??

Original poster
MotherWill · 26/09/2024 08:06

To right it's bloody unseemly. It wasn't my daughter picking through the dressing table.
It's hard enough at the moment dealing the keeping them at home. Unless they set fire to the place, the grabby aftermath is going to be obscene.

OP posts:
sunsetsandboardwalks · 26/09/2024 08:06

Talk about bad taste - they're not bloody dead yet!

GabriellaMontez · 26/09/2024 08:06

Picking through a jewellery box... wait they're alive???

BMW6 · 26/09/2024 08:06

But... they're still alive? Surely they will bequeath important/valuable items to individuals in their wills?

What if they decide to sell and go into sheltered accommodation? They will decide how to dispose if items at that point surely?

I am.bewildered why you are asking about other people's things really!

Beamur · 26/09/2024 08:05

Ghoulish to be picking it over whilst they're alive and living in their own home!
Presumably they have written wills?

redtrain123 · 26/09/2024 08:04

My in laws recently passed away. There were also three siblings.

Basically, everyone sent in a list of preferred items which was shared out. Then the house was sorted with people selecting the items they wanted and the rest going to a charity shop. Anything sold, the money was split according to the will.

However, this was done after In laws passed away. We didn’t have vultures circling before.

Arlanymor · 26/09/2024 08:04

What do the grandparents want to do? Frail or not they will have opinions. This sounds like sharks sensing blood in the water and circling and it’s horrible.

Edited to add that surely there is a will in place for when the time comes which outlines their preferences? It’s a job for the executors as PP said.

Homewoes22 · 26/09/2024 08:03

Once they leave should be a job for the executors, no one else really.

Cookerhood · 26/09/2024 08:02

What do the wills say?
It all sounds a bit unseemly if they are still alive!

FrenchandSaunders · 26/09/2024 08:01

and living there?

FrenchandSaunders · 26/09/2024 08:00

Sounds like they’re still alive!