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To cancel our first holiday together 6 days beforehand

482 replies

Chickenrun12 · 26/09/2024 03:55

Hi all, I'm trying to understand why my boyfriend would ask me this before I cancel our holiday. We have been together about a year and we are going to Thailand on Wednesday, he has never left Europe so we are both looking forward to it. Early today I mentioned I had read there are ALOT of massage places offering happy endings where we are staying thinking we would both have a have a bit of a laugh about it so I was shocked when he said 'I could get a hand job and you could watch' I laughed and said yeah right thinking he was joking but he carried on by saying 'it wouldn't be cheating if you were in the room would it'. I asked if he was joking and he said no. I couldn't believe he'd even suggest it. I said OK maybe I can get a happy ending from a man whilst you're in the room (I would never) and he got very annoyed saying it's totally different and why would I even say that. This is our first holiday together. I have planned and paid for this holiday as a gift and I just cannot believe he would even suggest it. He did apologise after I told him how upset I was.

For context he slept around alot whilst we were seeing each other but not officially together whilst saying if I ever slept with someone else he would never see me again. He swears blind he has been loyal since we have been official and I believe him (maybe stupidly). Any thoughts? I feel like not going at this point but maybe that's an overreaction

OP posts:
Therehastobesomegoodnews · 11/11/2024 05:16

I don't understand why you went on the holiday with him after him telling you what he wanted to do , after the advice you got on this thread, and after even saying yourself that you had decided not to go.

I don't want to go down the route of victim blaming but apart from the above I find it strange that you casually described what happened with the prostitutes on the thread in chat and then post your, what comes over as, quite sensalising description of what happened on here.

Btw I also don't understand about the photos: if you didn't take them was he actually taking selfies while the prostitutes were servicing him?

I don't know OP. I understand why you started the thread in the first place as it seemed you were quite shocked by what he wanted to do but I really fail to see why you posted the update about him actually acting out his stated intention, apart from enjoying people's reaction.

DelphineFox · 11/11/2024 04:23

Chickenrun12 · 10/11/2024 20:02

I just posted about this on a different thread and it reminded me to update this one. So, after this thread and my decision to go alone, we spoke and we ended up going together.

He just wanted to party all night and sleep all day. There was not a single excursion, activity etc. No temples, no beach, no elephant sanctuary, no pool. Day 4 he had an orgy with 6 thai prostitutes infront of me in a 'bar' whilst I begged for us to leave but too scared/couldn't leave by myself (not quite full sex, but oral, hand jobs, anal fingering etc) He couldn't finish and begged me to 'help'. I wasn't allowed to leave until it was paid for (very scary security on the doors enforcing it). They were bringing constant rounds of tequila and the cost was rising the constantly. I didnt have the money and i was so scared of what would happen if the cost got so high we couldnt pay. I asked repeatedly to just leave - i even said I will make sure he 'finished' back at the hotel in a desperate bid to leave. He just kept saying baby i need to cum please help and so I did. Probably sounds like its partly my fault but i didnt want it, ask for it, had no idea it was going to happen and was very very aware of the danger if it carried on and we couldnt pay.

He told me to 'just forget about it' afterwards but didn't want to delete the photos of him with them all afterwards literally sucking one of their breasts because he wanted to keep it as memory.

My own fault for taking him on the holiday and not heading the warnings. Please trust your instincts and listen to advice. I wish I had.

And you paid for the holiday too as a gift to him. Oh dear. At least he warned you before you went what he wanted to do and you chose to still go with him.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/11/2024 03:02

This sounds like an awful experience. I’m so sorry he did this to you. I hope you can now move on and start to heal. Can I suggest you report your bank details post to night watch to get it hidden? Did he repay the £428?

Lulooo · 11/11/2024 02:36

OP, this sounds like a terrible experience for you and yes, you did wrong by ignoring good advice but it’s always easier to be stronger when it’s someone else. It’s not always easy to stand up to someone in real life no matter how dire the situation is. You were a victim of his emotional and mental abuse and I’m glad you’re out of it. I’m sorry for the people here giving you a hard time. Ignore them and focus on moving forward x

Galdownunder · 11/11/2024 01:58

Who took the photo of him “sucking” on the girl?

user1492757084 · 11/11/2024 01:56

Breakup.
Take a girlfriend.

Fauviandelight32 · 11/11/2024 01:54

i think it sounds like a crazy story to people who have (luckily) never experienced the disgustingly seedy side of Thai nightlife. My and my husband got called into one of these bars in Bangkok (Patong would be much worse I’m sure). We were mildly curious at first and though hey let’s just have a drink for the experience. Another tourist sat next to us and he quickly had 2 girls rubbing up on him. We left right after he pulled down their top. And that was the end of our curiosity!

Anyway, I definitely give the OP the benefit of the doubt and I hope she’s in a better mental space now

pinkyredrose · 11/11/2024 01:51

What an awful update. At least you know now for sure what a wrong 'un he is. Hope he's going to pay you back.

Op I hope you're on the way to becoming a stronger person. Please look after yourself x

TriesNotToBeCynical · 11/11/2024 01:39

Chickenrun12 · 11/11/2024 01:34

This is the transaction from that evening. I guess I'm trying to 'prove' I'm not lying. I don't know why I even care as this whole update and being called a liar has actually just made me feel more shit and I really don't need it right now.

They're just random people, not all of them are nice, and it is easy to be anonymously rude. Don't take it personally! There are enough good people on here who wish you well and understand that people make mistakes. Enough of us are glad you have got away from this man and hope for a joyful future for you.

Edenmum2 · 11/11/2024 01:38

Sorry, OP. I'm sorry this happened and I'm
sorry the twats on here are bullying you about it to make themselves feel better on what is touted as a 'supportive forum'

caringcarer · 11/11/2024 01:35

Go on holiday and take a friend or your Mum with you. Bin this loser off.

Chickenrun12 · 11/11/2024 01:34

SnowFrogJelly · 11/11/2024 01:18

Why are you posting your bank details on a website

This is the transaction from that evening. I guess I'm trying to 'prove' I'm not lying. I don't know why I even care as this whole update and being called a liar has actually just made me feel more shit and I really don't need it right now.

OP posts:
SnowFrogJelly · 11/11/2024 01:18

Why are you posting your bank details on a website

Chickenrun12 · 11/11/2024 00:51

'People are only going for it because of the race element' what is actually wrong with you people?

I give up telling you its the truth. It absolutely is what happened and I don't need to prove it to you at all.

As for how the bill was worked out I don't actually know. They kept bringing trays of tequila shots but I have no idea how the pricing worked out. It was just one final bill at the end, paid on card and worked out at £428.

To cancel our first holiday together 6 days beforehand
To cancel our first holiday together 6 days beforehand
OP posts:
Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 11/11/2024 00:43

Barleysugar86 · 11/11/2024 00:04

I don't know, I could believe it. We were in the bar area of Koh Samui which isn't even all that wild and whilst walking back with my boyfriend in the early hours a working girl came out touting for business. When she wasn't successful with her enquiries she pulled down my boyfriends shorts and boxers and grabbed hold of his genitals in one swift movement IN FRONT OF ME!- and tried again. Some of the working girl bars definitely have a bit of a maffia fleecing type vibe to them from the outside, although I've never been in.

Oh I believe there were people aggressively touting for business. What I don't believe is that it was inevitable that OP ended up in one of these dodgy bars and that it ended the way it did. And you kind of proved the point by extracting yourselves from your situation without ending up in an 8-some where you eventually had to do all the work.

swimsong · 11/11/2024 00:38

Barleysugar86 · 11/11/2024 00:04

I don't know, I could believe it. We were in the bar area of Koh Samui which isn't even all that wild and whilst walking back with my boyfriend in the early hours a working girl came out touting for business. When she wasn't successful with her enquiries she pulled down my boyfriends shorts and boxers and grabbed hold of his genitals in one swift movement IN FRONT OF ME!- and tried again. Some of the working girl bars definitely have a bit of a maffia fleecing type vibe to them from the outside, although I've never been in.

What baffles me is how was the bill worked out?
I mean, apart from the drinks he got different things on the menu from six of them. These various services are not handed out free. Maybe there was cash handed over each time, I don't know. - but it all sounds a bit messy, so to speak.

JolieFilleCommentCaVa · 11/11/2024 00:38

How sad that some of you witches find this funny.

Do you really think a “porno troll” would go to the effort of coming back 45 days later after first posting the thread, just to troll? Seriously?

I know the ones with the sick minds. And it isn’t the OP.

Chickenrun12 · 11/11/2024 00:35

Jesus Christ. This happened!!! I know to some people this seems unbelievable but it happened.

OP posts:
Michiamo · 11/11/2024 00:34

The ‘anal fingering’ would be a deal breaker for me 😄

murasaki · 11/11/2024 00:12

Bumcake · 11/11/2024 00:11

People are only going for it due to the race element imo. If she’d said he got gobbled by six Welsh chicks in Cardiff there’d be less people taking it at face value.

Good point.

Minniliscious · 11/11/2024 00:11

Bumcake · 11/11/2024 00:09

I should think so, if six of them couldn’t even get him to finish.

😂😂😂

Bumcake · 11/11/2024 00:11

murasaki · 11/11/2024 00:02

It was 'wrote a basic porno sketch' and watch the comments come in. Not believable in the slightest.

People are only going for it due to the race element imo. If she’d said he got gobbled by six Welsh chicks in Cardiff there’d be less people taking it at face value.

Bumcake · 11/11/2024 00:09

Minniliscious · 11/11/2024 00:08

I hope you left them a bad Tripadvisor review …..

I should think so, if six of them couldn’t even get him to finish.

Minniliscious · 11/11/2024 00:08

I hope you left them a bad Tripadvisor review …..

Barleysugar86 · 11/11/2024 00:04

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 10/11/2024 23:28

A trip to Phuket is pretty cheap and common for us Aussies, last time I was in Patong (not that long ago), Bangla Rd was absolutely heaving with tourists including family groups, and not a single one of them was having public group sex. You joined in, really? This is absolutely nuts. I mean, I guess I can believe it if you were led off to a private area in a bar but what I don't believe is that you had no agency, and no choice but to join in.

I don't know, I could believe it. We were in the bar area of Koh Samui which isn't even all that wild and whilst walking back with my boyfriend in the early hours a working girl came out touting for business. When she wasn't successful with her enquiries she pulled down my boyfriends shorts and boxers and grabbed hold of his genitals in one swift movement IN FRONT OF ME!- and tried again. Some of the working girl bars definitely have a bit of a maffia fleecing type vibe to them from the outside, although I've never been in.