MIL and her emotional support dog

Plan something really nice for Christmas OP. MIL is a loon, she’s had plenty of time to train the dog to be happy to spend some time alone at home. Some people are ridiculous with their attitude to their dogs!!

Reading about MiL's behaviour, do you REALLY think she would put her furbaby/prop/ddog (insert your own descriptive word for the dog) in a GARAGE?!

No!!!

A well trained assistance dog (or any well trained pet dog) would be quite happy to be left for a couple of hours in their own home. Lots of water, couple of toys, cosy blankets in the sofa on in their bed - maybe the radio on. Dogs that are happy and been well trained will enjoy a nice walk before you go out - the assistant dog toileting on command as trained to do so - they will then settle down for a lovely nap while you are out for a few hours.

no dog wants to be shoved in a garage .

you can’t argue with this MIL - she is misrepresenting what her dog is , overriding others needs and just wanting her own way.

Shove MIL in the garage maybe but not the dog! (joking before anyone gets irate)

Could the dog stay in the garage or somewhere, and then at least everyone could have lunch /pressies and then MIL can head off home?

In the USA I have seen a lot of signs saying something along the lines of:

Service dogs welcome.
Please note that according to (relevant disabilities act inserted) emotional support dogs are not service dogs.
It is illegal to misrepresent a pet as a service animal. Fines up to $(however many dollars).

MIL sounds like a total nightmare.
Good on you for not taking it.

Oh my!! Breaking the law? That’s a stretch too far and surely she knows this! 😂

Assistance dog handler here - am disabled.

uk law - no such thing as ‘emotional support dog’. Anyone can call their dog an emotional support dog - but it give them No RIGHTS to go anywhere what isn’t dog friendly.

ASSISTANCE DOGS (highly trained to mitigate persons disability and to behave appropriately in public) whether owner trained or charity trained have full public access rights to help the disabled person they support - hence can go in pubs, restaurants, theatres, concerts, shops etc that are usually ‘no dogs’

Any assistance dog causing an issue can be asked to leave if not behaving appropriately (e.g. if it peed in the shop or barking at people in a non alerting for emergency manner)

Assistance dogs have PUBLIC ACCESS rights to help the disabled person under the Equality Act.

Your house is not a public place - it is a private dwelling. No assistance dog has the right to cross your threshold without your permission as it is a private house.

Your MIL is trying it on big time and is totally unaware of the uk laws.

Really angers me people doing this -as gives us genuine handlers who rely on our dogs for safety and independence a bad name.

I would never expect my dog to go into someone’s house without their permission… it’s just plain rude and not them being ‘ableist’ or discriminating against me.

The mark of a good assistance dog is you don’t know it is there. They calmly lay at your feet alongside you - waiting to help but certainly are not causing havoc. The training is extensive so they are as unobtrusive as possible. They are obedient and calm.

You are totally within your rights to say no to her badly trained dog coming to your house whatever lable she choses to put on it…

I'm not even allergic and wouldn't have a dog in my house. We don't have dogs and making our living spaces suitable for a dog isn't something I'd be willing to take on.

Why can't dogs be left at home anymore, this was normal and expected when I was a child.

She said they host for 3-4 days and it's a horrible experience for her. She has the right to enjoy Christmas, and the rest of the family can do whatever it is they do on alternate years when the OP isn't hosting, or get together at one of their own houses and leave OP and her husband to do Christmas as they wish. If someone tells you that you don't have the right to keep allergens out of your own home, why on earth would you host that person? She's given plenty of notice, and done nothing wrong.

It’s as if people don’t want to understand this.

Good for you. It’s the mumsnet paradox, stand up for yourself, don’t host if you don’t want to. Op - I’m not hosting , mumsnet omg you terrible person cancelling Christmas they will starve!!

*of

Yep, I'm aware if that but op said she cancelled it.
So, what was the reaction of the rest of the family, op?

Christ. You don't bring a known allergen to the allergic person's house. Surely that doesn't need to be pointed out?

I don't know about an emotional support dog for your mil. Sounds like she needs an emotional kick up the arse.

You can’t cancel Christmas, it exists independently.

Nevermind the dog.... she's crossed a line saying what she did to you. I'd be putting her right back in her place.

It's so heartwarming to see an op who has the backbone to stand up to people who disrespect them. Well done for not wanting to do the Christmas rigmarole every year for disrespectful people.

Op, what was the reaction to you getting one up on your mil cancelling Christmas for everyone?

Yep, very petty!

Call me petty, but I would get DH to invite everyone to some family events/BBQs/parties, EXCEPT MIL and Dog. (Just to put the boot in and show her the lay of the land.)

FFS. Show your total ignorance about allergies in a couple of sentences.

I’ll say it slowly for those people who don’t seem to get it, and the willfully ignorant:

Allergies.
can.
kill.

My DH could take an antihistamine and he’ll probably still have an asthma attack (that could kill) that will need treatment.

She can take an antihistamine but she will still have an allergic reaction. She will still get sick. She will feel sick for days. Even with an antihistamine. The dog will leave hair and dander. That will cause allergic reactions later too. Or MIL can leave the fucking dog at home and not cause her DIL to be sick for days.

So yes. There are things called antihistamines, but there are also things like avoiding an allergen in the first place, which doctors will always tell you is the best course of action, because it’s the one where you won’t have an allergic reaction.

These threads always out the selfish fuckers who think allergy sufferers should make themselves ill for days for someone else’s pet choices. These threads out stupid people who think it’s as simple as taking a pill and it’s all better. No one needs to take the dog to Christmas dinner.

If I wanted you to go and beat yourself about the head with a rounders bat for ten minutes for my viewing pleasure, would you be okay with it on the basis that you can just take a fistful of painkillers first?

It's fine to want to avoid the trigger, rather than drugging yourself against deliberate, unnecessary exposure. The drugs have side effects, and don't fully eliminate symptoms.

And it's not just that one day. If you're allergic to dogs and one spends a day in your home, congratulations! you're now allergic to your own home, until you've turned your house upside-down doing a deep clean of all soft furnishings the dog went anywhere near.