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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and her emotional support dog

267 replies

Moreacatperson · 25/09/2024 17:45

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 27/09/2024 13:23

JumperStripes · 25/09/2024 17:48

From reading your post I don’t get the impression you are asking. You seem to be telling readers, much like you probably told your husband, how they are to respond. So why bother posting?

“AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog?”

First line is the question, then the story/issue. Surely people respond by saying if OP is unreasonable or not 🤷‍♀️

WB205020 · 27/09/2024 13:16

@Moreacatperson What was your DH and DC response to her invitation? Im hoping your DH said no thank you and your DC something less polite, just for comedic effect!

Nicebloomers · 27/09/2024 13:04

Moreacatperson · 27/09/2024 12:31

🧐 Brenda are you on MN ?

(If this isn’t my MIL I’d be surprised after the message she sent last night to dh inviting him and dc to hers over Christmas 😂)

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Ha ha ha! That was my first thought too.

good luck with Brenda, she sounds nuts.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 27/09/2024 12:44

JudgeJ · 27/09/2024 11:07

Yes lovey, I did read your post and realised that it would involve MIL trying to foist her pooch onto other family events. My comment still stands, the OP can decide not to include her and the pooch on other celebrations and get togethers, it isn't petty at all not to invite her.

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It’s his mother for god sake. If he wants to see her Christmas Day he damn well should and I hope he does.

OP isn’t exactly covering herself in glory, very petty.

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/09/2024 12:37

She’s got a bloody cheek, Hope she has a very happy Christmas with her dog (poor creature).

goodboystepup · 27/09/2024 12:34

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😂

sharpclawedkitten · 27/09/2024 12:34

BrokenSushiLook · 26/09/2024 18:29

Yanbu, but I think you should consider getting an emotional-support-crocodile that eats small yappy dogs.

Best post of the thread!

Original poster
Moreacatperson · 27/09/2024 12:31

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🧐 Brenda are you on MN ?

(If this isn’t my MIL I’d be surprised after the message she sent last night to dh inviting him and dc to hers over Christmas 😂)

OP posts:
Arran2024 · 27/09/2024 12:29

Moreacatperson · 25/09/2024 17:45

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

You are not being unreasonable and I say that as someone with two dogs. We know that people don't want them in their houses and that's fair enough.

Haroldwilson · 27/09/2024 12:20

TorroFerney · 27/09/2024 12:12

I know, it’s odd how horrid people can be. So that poster is effectively saying she hopes the op is on her own in Christmas Day in relation to direct family ( I don’t count mils as direct family) and that her husband and child refuse to spend the day with her. I wonder if the poster really does mean that?

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I think some posters say the kind of thing you'd mutter under your breath having come in from a stressful day, but they forget another human will read it

TorroFerney · 27/09/2024 12:12

Moglet4 · 27/09/2024 11:32

What an awful thing to say. There’s only one person at fault in this whole situation and it isn’t OP

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I know, it’s odd how horrid people can be. So that poster is effectively saying she hopes the op is on her own in Christmas Day in relation to direct family ( I don’t count mils as direct family) and that her husband and child refuse to spend the day with her. I wonder if the poster really does mean that?

stayathomer · 27/09/2024 11:41

What an awful thing to say. There’s only one person at fault in this whole situation and it isn’t OP
While it is an awful thing to say we don’t know who the person at fault is for sure- we don’t know what the conversation or tone of conversation leading to all of this was. It’s the old three sides to every story thing.

Moglet4 · 27/09/2024 11:32

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What an awful thing to say. There’s only one person at fault in this whole situation and it isn’t OP

JudgeJ · 27/09/2024 11:07

TheDuck2018 · 27/09/2024 07:33

Did you read the post I was referring to? Not the Christmas dinner but but arranging lots of other things and not inviting MIL.....that's petty!

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Yes lovey, I did read your post and realised that it would involve MIL trying to foist her pooch onto other family events. My comment still stands, the OP can decide not to include her and the pooch on other celebrations and get togethers, it isn't petty at all not to invite her.

Toiletrollwaspreciousincovidtimes · 27/09/2024 09:29

My kind friend wanted to be the You Can Bring Your Precious Pooch To My House No Problem friend.. .. I tried to say it was fine dpuppy can stay home with dh.
Dutifully took dpuppy round. She had a huge poo on her new rug...
Oddly she didn't insist we keep up the joint visits!!

August1980 · 27/09/2024 09:18

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RickyGervaislovesdogs · 27/09/2024 07:51

Moglet4 · 27/09/2024 07:33

There are certain things where one person saying no is an absolute no. Pets in the house are one of those things.

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Oh what is this law? Doesn’t apply in our house. Pets are a luxury, a way of life for many people. TBH I won’t have MIL’s dog in my house because he’s a bitey little shit, but I do make time for her and I’m not a complete bitch…..

(PS it’s not about the dog, not in this case.)

TheDuck2018 · 27/09/2024 07:33

JudgeJ · 27/09/2024 06:48

Not petty at all, MIL and her pretend support dog nonsense shouldn't be able to derail Christmas for the rest of the family.

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Did you read the post I was referring to? Not the Christmas dinner but but arranging lots of other things and not inviting MIL.....that's petty!

Moglet4 · 27/09/2024 07:33

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 25/09/2024 18:35

Whose house is it? Are any joint decisions made? Or is it one person’s wants and needs only.
I suppose she could host Christmas but then I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to go there either.

Sounds like you’ve won either way you cut it.

There are certain things where one person saying no is an absolute no. Pets in the house are one of those things.

Moglet4 · 27/09/2024 07:28

phoenixrosehere · 25/09/2024 18:10

YANBU.

How 9% think you are, is baffling.

Wonder if they’re the type that think little of allergies and think people should seemingly “suck it up” for others.

They’ll be the die hard dog lovers who think that the entire world should spin around their fur baby and sod anyone else

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 27/09/2024 07:24

I’m with you OP, I don’t mind well behaved dogs my friends have them but they would never dream of asking to bring them in my dog free house. I don’t want a dog because of mess, smells and potential accidents so it just would not be happening unless it was a trained guide dog.

the sooner the idiotic owners fur baby’s die out the better and I hope to god they don’t replace them because it is becoming ridiculous the amount of badly behaved dogs and entitled owners who have no right having a dog

TorroFerney · 27/09/2024 07:21

AW24 · 26/09/2024 18:03

@TorroFerney
I think she meant she cancelled Christmas dinner at her house for all that were invited. Not rocket science.

@Moreacatperson
Is likely they will all arrange something else and dog will be there anyway. 🤷‍♀️
If you don't go, it will likely create a problem going forward 😬

Ah no she said cancelled Christmas, whiff of hyperbole I felt! No it’s not rocket science it’s Christmas dinner.

JudgeJ · 27/09/2024 06:48

TheDuck2018 · 26/09/2024 07:10

Yep, very petty!

Show quote history

Not petty at all, MIL and her pretend support dog nonsense shouldn't be able to derail Christmas for the rest of the family.

Lollipopsicle · 27/09/2024 06:32

PartyLlama · 27/09/2024 06:26

Create a new WhatsApp invitation for Christmas and just state 'no pets allowed' Wink

😂

PartyLlama · 27/09/2024 06:26

Create a new WhatsApp invitation for Christmas and just state 'no pets allowed' Wink

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