MIL and her emotional support dog

Please tell the dog it can come round to mine on Christmas Day for some emotional respite from your batshit MIL.

You were 100% right to stand your ground OP - she sounds bonkers.

My reaction was from being in an empty house a ddog had previously lived in.. I was at the property for 4 hours with all windows open...
That was Thursday.. Still suffering now..

To all those saying just take antihistamines for one day; dog dander gets as far down as carpet underlay when a dog goes into a home. A person may be affected long after the dog has left.

It's a pity you can't put your mother in law in the kennels for Christmas to give the dog a break. You are totally on point to stand your ground and say no to something that would make you severely unwell. His MIL sounds like a monster who needs commiting or to get her own life and leave yours alone.
Keep up what your doing and don't give her an inch of space in your life xx

Reading between the lines of OPs post though, I'm guessing MIL would be the type to turn up on the doorstep with the dog, cause a fuss in front of the other members of the family and twist it to look like she was the one being treated unfairly.

We had similar in my family and it was ridiculous how some people prioritize the dog.

DB daughter (8) fearful of dogs.
DS has 2 dogs (one who had bitten grandma)

DS hosts Xmas dinner but refuses to put dogs outside or in basement. Says “girl needs to get over her fear”
My sister not normally a jerk.

since then, 10 years ago, there’s been tension.

All over stupid effing dogs being so precious can’t be outside, kenneled or in basement.

Id say if woman needs dog with her then she can stay home.

I wouldn't have a dog in my house either and that's not because I don't like them. I do, and they usually like me, but I like my cats a lot more. One of them at least would find a dog in his space very upsetting and as he lives here, he's my priority, not a visitor. I wouldn't dream of imposing him or my tortie on someone else and expect the same respect for my boundaries. Aside from that, allergies and phobias are real regardless of how much we cat and dog lovers think our pets are the Alpha and Omega. I think the OP was right to put her foot down. It sounds as if she wanted to cancel Christmas lunch for other (but related) reasons too. Her MiL knows she has problems being around dogs and made it apparent that she didn't care. Cancelling under those circumstances is more than valid, especially as the OP has given plenty of notice.

Having recently had a reaction to ddog fur I am so unwell have missed work for 2 days. Antihistamines and nasal spray aren't cutting it. Supposed to be at a funeral this week and coughing fits of late make me worried I may be unable to attend.. So shattered from lack of sleep as can't breath properly.. Allergy isn't just a pop a pill situation .

Oh my God 🤦‍♀️. I don't even know where to start with that comment so better to ignore.

Well done for standing your ground OP, and good on your husband for backing you up.

Who are you to decide that an allergy sufferer should simply suck it up in their own home for days for someone who could leave said allergen at home and chooses not to and the guest thinks she can dictate what happens in someone’s home?

The MIL lives close enough where she can leave at anytime to check on her dog and return if she chooses.

OP can’t get rid of her allergy and she should be able to be in her own home safe from it. She is not stopping her DH or children from seeing his mother and his mother can see them everywhere but their home if she chooses to bring her dog.

It is not OP’s responsibility to cater to someone who is so dismissive of her health and well-being and knows she is severely allergic of dogs. MIL obviously doesn’t like OP and can’t blame OP for not liking her either when she is trying to force her dog on OP and into OP’s home where she knows it would be harmful to her.

well at least that's her xmas present sorted - you and your dh could pay for her dog to be enrolled on a behaviour training course!

YANBU and tbh the humanification of dogs in this country has gone too fucking far.

Calling them fur babies and taking them in every cafe and shop, buying them clothing and dog ice cream and all sorts of shit. It needs to stop they are animals.

I don’t want them in my house regardless of allergies. They’re absolutely stinking but all the dog people are of course nose blind and think their little darlings are delightful.

MIL tried to claim it was SILs psychiatric assistance dog and said we were breaking the law refusing to have it in our home under the equality act 😂.

Is there no end to these batshit MILs?

Ok I might get shit for this but I'm definitely adding emotional support dogs to my personal red flag list for people I should avoid. Seems more often than not it's an excuse for bringing a badly trained dog to places that they aren't wanted.

No you shouldn’t be taking antihistamines every day if you are allergic to something. That’s like saying you should take paracetamol every day in case you have a headache. Doesn’t work like that. Antihistamines have their own side effects.

Source: allergy clinic

HTH

Not surprised you don’t think she said anything wrong, you sound just as unhinged as the mil

"Gosh! Antihistamines!" 😂. So clear that you don't suffer with allergies & are absolutely clueless about how awful they are.

And also how rich, you said you wouldn't have a dog in your own home for your own reasons (son). So, its fine to slag off the OP for not having the dog for her reasons, but fine for you not to bother in a similar scenario?! If you're going to judge at least don't be a hypocrite.

Sure we'll mostly all be MILs one day but if we're assholes we shouldn't expect automatic respect which is what the MIL in this situation seems to be expecting. She's clearly out to ruin Xmas for the OP. Luckily her DS has seen it all before and isn't letting it happen.

Good for you OP for being firm on setting your boundaries and sticking to them without all the flakey fluffy pussyfooting around.

I wish more people were like you.
These days I would always choose my dogs over people and by the same token, if people don’t like dogs or accept that where they live is their home too then don’t come.

Christ alive 🙄

I bloody hate the fact that you can buy these bull shit dog vests on eBay. I work for an ACTUAL assistance dog charity and it causes so many problems for AD dog owners to have twats like your MIL marching into shops with their poorly trained pet dogs distracting their working dogs.

Make sure your DH sticks to his guns, and maybe he could have a word with her about how her silly attitude causes issues for genuinely disabled people.

😂😂😂

The 1950's called and want you back

😂😂😂

"didn't have anything and married for the house" - priceless!!

Are you the MIL?

Why should the OP take antihistamines if she doesn't have to - and why should she have to tolerate MILs badly behaved dog in her own home.

Wow. Did you actually bother reading the post? There’s one spoilt, entitled brat here and it’s 100% the MIL.

Oh your one of those! That didn't have anything and married for the house! If I was your DH I'd be writing you out of the will for the treatment of my mother tbh!

YABVU! Emotional support dogs can't be legally recognised in the UK; so the only way to get a vest is from Amazon or eBay. And who are you do decide whether or not someone needs emotional support!
Don't know about the dog being a spoilt fur baby but you're acting like a spoilt brat!
Of course it's not your decision if her son sees her at Christmas or not. And yes you should be taking antihistamines everyday if you're allergic to anything!
I don't think she said anything wrong!

But also scared of, not just allergies.
But there are no bad dog just bad owners and clearly the case there with the entitlement and the prop she has!
I LOVE that NoK and house.ownership too!
Deloulou!