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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL and her emotional support dog

267 replies

Moreacatperson · 25/09/2024 17:45

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 01/10/2024 10:15

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 01/10/2024 09:36

It’s not comparable though, is it. If I was allergic I’d take a tablet.

Biting is different isn’t it? At a push if she lived far away her dog could go into the garden room for a few hours.

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The OP also said in her first post that she is terrified of dogs and that the dog is very poorly trained. There is no tablet to deal with that.

Coloursingreydays · 01/10/2024 10:13

Poor dog . Happy you are clear with your things. Woman is crazy

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 01/10/2024 09:36

thepariscrimefiles · 01/10/2024 09:25

But you won't have your MIL's dog in your house! If you were hosting on Christmas Day but your MIL refused to come without her bitey dog, would you allow her dog to come and bite your 8 year old? You sound completely hypocritical.

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It’s not comparable though, is it. If I was allergic I’d take a tablet.

Biting is different isn’t it? At a push if she lived far away her dog could go into the garden room for a few hours.

thepariscrimefiles · 01/10/2024 09:25

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 27/09/2024 12:44

It’s his mother for god sake. If he wants to see her Christmas Day he damn well should and I hope he does.

OP isn’t exactly covering herself in glory, very petty.

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But you won't have your MIL's dog in your house! If you were hosting on Christmas Day but your MIL refused to come without her bitey dog, would you allow her dog to come and bite your 8 year old? You sound completely hypocritical.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 01/10/2024 09:19

@ThePenguinIsDrunk but the OP doesn’t require hospitalisation. 🙈Your projecting your own severe allergies on to OP. Of course I don’t think you should crack on chuffing peanuts and carry epi pens.
The OP was looking for any excuse to not ‘do Christmas’. She’s ‘allowed’ her partner to see his mother a few hours over Christmas. If my DH imposed that controlling level of behaviour on to me I’d divorce him.

“Her MIL also sounds very difficult so not having her in her home over Christmas is probably an added bonus for OP.” Op’s entire intention I would say.

thepariscrimefiles · 01/10/2024 09:09

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 16:11

You're missing out on so much love. I'm sorry you have such a sad life.

What a ridiculous and judgemental comment! The OP is allergic to dogs and this particular dog is very poorly trained.

Her MIL also sounds very difficult so not having her in her home over Christmas is probably an added bonus for OP.

thepariscrimefiles · 01/10/2024 08:59

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 15:36

There's something odd about people who don't like dogs.

This is a poorly trained dog and the OP is allergic so there is nothing odd about OP not wanting the dog in her home over Christmas.

ThePenguinIsDrunk · 01/10/2024 08:54

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 27/09/2024 18:03

@Gymnopedie You are comparing a dog who bites (and occasionally pisses on beds) to a dog who doesn’t seem to do those things? Unless there’s a massive backstory. Gosh antihistamines! It’s one day!!!!! Had a rescue kitty and took one every, single, god damn day! 💪🏼MIL will be dead one day, along with her dog. There’s NO way DH would stop me having DM to our home.

I have an 8 year old, so yeah bitey bastard can’t come here.

It’s a MIL and Dog bashing post. You’ll be a MIL one day OP. 😕🤣That’s all I’m going to say, I hope you’re treated with a little less contempt - well actually I don’t lol.

Antihistamines help but won't keep you out of hospital if it's a bad allergy - I wish I could have just taken a tablet as a child and been around dogs and cats 🙄.
Do you also think that people with nut allergies should just 'eat the bloody curry, take an antihistamine and have epipens at the ready'?

phoenixrosehere · 30/09/2024 18:36

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 15:36

There's something odd about people who don't like dogs.

There’s something odd about anyone who puts an animal on a pedestal and thinks anyone and everyone should like them or be around them even if by doing so it makes them ill.

I like well-behaved pets but unfortunately too many owners like OP’s MIL make it hard to be around them without caution.

SLeanne · 30/09/2024 18:12

I wouldn't want a dog at my house either. I have a dog poo phobia and if it did a poo on my lawn, even if it was picked up immediately I would still worry that there were remnants left there fir my DC to step on / tread germs in the house. And I am in no way a germophobe nor do I have OCD about cleanliness, it's just dog poo that freaks me out!

FailureAndSuicide · 30/09/2024 17:39

OrdsallChord · 30/09/2024 16:31

Yes, one wonders what other boundaries they like to try and shame people for. Bit creepy.

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I agree with this.

Renamed · 30/09/2024 16:50

I like dogs. I don’t like untrained nervy ones that yap at you. I know it’s not their fault and I feel sorry for the, but I wouldn’t have a dog like that in the house. And yes I judge people who don’t train their dogs, it’s a form of mistreatment.

OrdsallChord · 30/09/2024 16:31

WandaFishy99 · 30/09/2024 16:28

There's something very weird about people who actually believe that everyone should like dogs

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Yes, one wonders what other boundaries they like to try and shame people for. Bit creepy.

WandaFishy99 · 30/09/2024 16:28

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 15:36

There's something odd about people who don't like dogs.

There's something very weird about people who actually believe that everyone should like dogs

WandaFishy99 · 30/09/2024 16:26

@TheAlchemy I agree, I don't want them in my nice clean house. I hate the dog smell. My cousin came round with her ancient stinky half-dead mutt and let it run in on its long lead. I think she had a bloody cheek, but she seems to use it as an emotional crutch.

WhatNoRaisins · 30/09/2024 16:24

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 16:11

You're missing out on so much love. I'm sorry you have such a sad life.

She's allergic to dogs and it's perfectly possible to find love from other sources than dogs.

whynotwhatknot · 30/09/2024 16:18

my mum was petrifiedd your hpouse ypur rules

everyone is buying these vests now makes a mockery of the real trained dogs

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 16:11

You're missing out on so much love. I'm sorry you have such a sad life.

coldcallerbaiter · 30/09/2024 16:06

underused · 30/09/2024 15:46

How do you determine what counts as an "emotional support dog"? Generally speaking, most pet dogs make their owners feel better. At what point does that warrant having a special vest and getting extra privileges?

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It’s a way of imposing them on others and getting around any rules. Can I get a vest for a tarantula and take it to this dog owners house or the seat next to me at a cafe? It smells less and is quieter than their dog for starters.

coldcallerbaiter · 30/09/2024 15:59

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 15:36

There's something odd about people who don't like dogs.

To me a dog is an animal and that’s all, just like pigs and goats. I don’t dislike them per se but I don’t want a pig in my house or in a shop/restaurant. People that can’t get their head around that are odd to me.

WandaFishy99 · 30/09/2024 15:57

@pigsDOfly that reminds me of my late FIL. He came for Christmas day. We were eating lunch (which I made alone, my preference as I hate people in the kitchen when I'm cooking) and my DM who was also there, made a comment about how she liked the gravy. FIL muttered Yes it's alright.
Later, when he was leaving he said "Thanks, son" to my OH, not a word to me, not even goodbye. Ignorant old barsteward.

OrdsallChord · 30/09/2024 15:53

CosyLemur · 30/09/2024 07:53

YABVU! Emotional support dogs can't be legally recognised in the UK; so the only way to get a vest is from Amazon or eBay. And who are you do decide whether or not someone needs emotional support!
Don't know about the dog being a spoilt fur baby but you're acting like a spoilt brat!
Of course it's not your decision if her son sees her at Christmas or not. And yes you should be taking antihistamines everyday if you're allergic to anything!
I don't think she said anything wrong!

Batshit.

underused · 30/09/2024 15:46

CosyLemur · 30/09/2024 07:53

YABVU! Emotional support dogs can't be legally recognised in the UK; so the only way to get a vest is from Amazon or eBay. And who are you do decide whether or not someone needs emotional support!
Don't know about the dog being a spoilt fur baby but you're acting like a spoilt brat!
Of course it's not your decision if her son sees her at Christmas or not. And yes you should be taking antihistamines everyday if you're allergic to anything!
I don't think she said anything wrong!

How do you determine what counts as an "emotional support dog"? Generally speaking, most pet dogs make their owners feel better. At what point does that warrant having a special vest and getting extra privileges?

Original poster
Moreacatperson · 30/09/2024 15:45

Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 15:36

There's something odd about people who don't like dogs.

MIL says this a lot. I think there’s more to worry about with people who can’t understand that some people just have different likes and dislikes to them ! But for some reason not liking dogs (or cats apparently) is a red flag that someone is an awful human ! No idea why and I can’t see how it’s any different to any other preference ?

OP posts:
Mwanamatapa · 30/09/2024 15:36

There's something odd about people who don't like dogs.

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