MIL and her emotional support dog

Cool. I’m glad it’s resolved. How long until this thread reaches 40. Has OP been around lately? Nope. Probably burning effigies of MIL somewhere. 😆

That’s a new one! 🤣

Yuh-huh.

No one said you weren’t but surely, you should consider that allergies vary and that just because you can take an antihistamine and be fine doesn’t mean others simply can nor should someone have to do so for 3-4 days when someone else already knows that dogs aren’t allowed in the home.

OP literally said that her DH has told his mother before and MIL knows that dogs have never been allowed in their home before this anyway.

I’m very allergic to cats. I take an antihistamine. All getting a bit obsessed now aren’t we. I am allowed a different view ya know! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I know, so bloody clueless.

You’re right and as a very allergic person myself (to cats, not dogs), I can confirm it’s really irritating when people say ‘Just take an antihistamine’!

Very true. I agree that not wanting a dog in your house should be justification enough.

However I do think it's important to challenge people when they talk bullshit about medical conditions, mostly to try and prevent the spread of false info to those who might not already be familiar with the topic.

You’re quite right but it actually shouldn’t be relevant anyway. She doesn’t want a dog in her house. That’s actually all the information that’s needed. I truly can’t understand why so many dog owners think they have a God-given right to invade people’s private spaces with their pets.

From the OP: I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic (my emphasis).

If we accept that OP is telling the truth there — because a) we have no reason to believe she lied in her OP, and b) it seems a bit pointless to discuss the situation posted if we're going to be assuming crucial elements are fabricated — then it seems unlikely that by "very allergic" she meant "a minor treatable sniffle that stops the moment the dog is gone".

You might as well ditch the sarky responses and just admit that you didn't understand how dog allergies work, didn't realise that antihistamines aren't a cure-all, and hadn't thought about the fact that allergens would be left behind in OP's house and have to be dealt with. It's really not a big deal — nobody expects everyone to automatically know everything about other people's medical issues.

I think she would prefer to breathe.

She is not missing out on love. What she is missing out on:

• wheezing
• eyes itching and watering
• skin itching
• asthma attacks
• everything itching
• Hair everywhere
• being jumped up at
• house smelling of dog (yes it does. I can tell when someone owns a dog even when the dog isn’t there - because they smell of dog too. It’s there.)
• being ill for days
• having to deep clean
• being made to do something she doesn’t want to, that makes her sick and uncomfortable.
• having to take medication that makes you feel like shit even if it doesn’t work.

How is ANY of that ‘love’? I’ll pass too, thanks.

Oh apologies I didn’t realise OP had said she will be rough all week. That’s totally different then.

I think dogs are emotional support to most people but we don’t over ride everybody else’s needs.

Glad to see so many people disagreeing with you.

Life with allergies can be extremely unpleasant. Anti-histamines barely take the edge off. They do nothing if I have a big reaction and most people would say I have mild allergies.

If I was the one hosting, you can bet I would do anything to avoid being ill in my own home at Christmas. Inviting an animal in and potentially feeling rough all week - no.

A dog can be left alone at home for a couple of hours by itself (unless it is a very young puppy). The MIL lives locally so she could pop back home once or twice if she wanted to. IMO she is just being awkward and trying to cause trouble. If it were a guide dog or hearing dog etc it would be a different matter, but it isn't!

I would think the clue was in “severe”’.

Dog dander can remain in a home for up to six months. Dog hair can stay for months or even years. A simple google search can tell you that.

Regardless on how hard it is for you to get past that OP is happy not to host for once, it still doesn’t change the fact that she is severely allergic of dogs and her MIL was being unreasonable over it.

So let me get this right.

You think that if it's anything short of actual, literal, instant death, people with allergies should just suck it up. They should drug themselves with antihistamines which only partially help, and cope with all the side effects of those medications. They should tolerate all the deeply unpleasant allergy symptoms, and somehow attempt to enjoy Christmas while doing all the work and physically feeling like shit. They should perhaps accept potential long-term damage to their lungs. And they should also be happy to take on the arduous, lengthy and expensive task of deep-cleaning their home afterwards, to avoid ongoing allergy symptoms from allergens lodged in their own damn home.

But asking someone to instead leave their pet dog at home for a few hours is not acceptable, for some reason?

Well there we are then, leave it there shall we.

Nope - OP didn't say she was going too. Try again.

Where on earth has she said she’s that allergic 🤷🏼‍♀️

For MOST people you just take a pill. You don’t die, if OP is likely to suffer death then obvs don’t have the dog over. But it’s clear it’s an excuse not to have the MIL there or ‘do Christmas’ just say it like it is- but I believe OP has further within the thread stated it’s great that there’s no cooking etc. The partner should be assisting in the prep and cooking if this is the case.

Yeah for couple of hours 🤣 So we agree OP won’t die of allergies then.

In my experience there are a number of dog owners who are so fond of dogs as they don't require one to have any level of emotional intelligence or maturity unlike interacting with people. My mum is one, as was my dad and I know a few others. My dad was very able to show affection to the dog, not to other humans. Very damaged people and it obviously makes them happy in a way but it also can make them batshit crazy as they put all their energy into the dog.

You’re not so your point is moot. Posters who actually do have severe allergies have said a pill has side effects and they’re still poorly with it and days after regardless. Considering the dog would be in OP’s home and is poorly trained, it is very likely the dog would run around, climbing on things which would force OP’s family to have to clean everything it touches. OP could possibly be sheltered away but she shouldn’t have to in her own home and her family would still have to clean everything due to the dog and no one wants to do that over their Christmas holidays because one person who didn’t bring their dog last year wants to bring them this year knowing one of the host is severely allergic and fearful.

The dog could be left at home and MIL is close enough to pop in and check on it but she doesn’t because she thinks her dog trumps her DIL who she doesn’t like.

I would also bet that OP is fearful of dogs due to her severe allergy to them.

No reasonable person would want to be near the very thing that makes them ill.

@RickyGervaislovesdogs and the OP hasn't refused to 'let' her DH see the MIL over christmas - she has stated that she is fune with this. I think you're the one projecting.

You don't know that, the OP may well have life threatening allergies to dogs. My dog & cat allergies have caused numerous hospitalisations over the years and antihistamines don't help.
Even if the OP wasn't allergic to dogs just not liking them is reason to not want one in her house all day, for several days, over christmas.