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AIBU?

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Childminder pay after bereavement

161 replies

familylifeishard · 25/09/2024 17:27

Hi all, first time poster here so would appreciate your thoughts. Our childminders mum died last week so she didn’t work 2 of the 3 days my son goes there. No problem as I kept him at home whilst working. My question is, would you still pay her for those 2 days or let it go due to the bereavement. I feel awkward deducting the fees but DH says that the consequences of being self employed. She told me to take it off the monthly fee but I’d already paid it so don’t know what to do next month?! Thanks for reading and any thoughts you have!

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 25/09/2024 17:37

Starlightstarbright3 · 25/09/2024 17:31

depending on contract you are well within your rights not to pay … however as a previous childminder , I can tell you any parent that understood this wasn’t a planned time off would be more likely to engage in loyalty . When i gave up part of my reasons was seeing parents who just viewed it as a business transaction.

I think this is a bit unfair given that it is a business and so many parents are struggling with the cost of childcare and cost of living. Not everyone can justify paying for nothing or will have had to take unpaid time off to care for their child and be down in wage also.

Op if you can afford it then yes I'd still pay her, but if you can't then follow what it says in your contract and I'd do something else like give a card or something to show you're thinking about her.

Marmaladegin · 25/09/2024 17:37

Regardless of contractual obligation I would pay- it's only a couple of days and showing compassion in a time of dire emotional upset would be an investment in the relationship with the person who cares for my DC imo

forgotmypassagain · 25/09/2024 17:37

I would pay her.

DoreenonTill8 · 25/09/2024 17:36

Pleasegodgotosleep · 25/09/2024 17:31

Your husband is incredibly harsh. If I was a childminder and you penalised over the death of a parent I would give you notice.

Horrifically so.

Hannahandlucy · 25/09/2024 17:35

I'd 100% pay her in this situation.

Pandasnacks · 25/09/2024 17:35

Does she give you invoices? She may remove it herself. I'd check your contract before removing it as it'd be awkward if you were liable to pay. And I'd pay her anyway, she cares for the most important person in your life every day and it wasn't an unreasonable amount of time to have off at all.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 25/09/2024 17:34

Ok she is self employed so a bit different but she only took a couple of days off when most employed people take 2 weeks paid bereavement leave. I wouldn't even think about not paying her.

atotalshambles · 25/09/2024 17:34

I am sure you do not have to pay but imagine if you were the childminder who had just lost your mum. I would forget about the payment to be honest. I think sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture.

Notdeckingthehalls · 25/09/2024 17:34

I would pay. I’ve done similiar with a cleaner. A little good will goes a long way in this kind of relationship.

Starlightstarbright3 · 25/09/2024 17:31

depending on contract you are well within your rights not to pay … however as a previous childminder , I can tell you any parent that understood this wasn’t a planned time off would be more likely to engage in loyalty . When i gave up part of my reasons was seeing parents who just viewed it as a business transaction.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 25/09/2024 17:31

Your husband is incredibly harsh. If I was a childminder and you penalised over the death of a parent I would give you notice.