Childminder pay after bereavement

I would pay as a message of support. I need my childminder and would hate for her to be short of money under these circumstances and then that to impact on my childcare needs. Mine has been a godsend for many, many years.

Wow. Cannot believe you even considered not paying. Your husband sounds like a catch; good choice of man there 🤨

Has your DH lost a parent yet?

Either way I'd be very upset to discover I was married to someone so heartless.

Would your DH have wanted her to look after your kids while reeling from a brand new bereavement? Possibly upset in front of them, distracted?

If the answer is no then he must surely see that not paying her isn’t fair.

Your DH needs a kick up the arse…..who on earth behaves like that!

I would pay and wouldn't give it a second thought.

I'd give you immediate notice. If your parent dies will you take 2 weeks off and expect her to still look after your children so you can have some 'head space'

I would consider whether I'd want to remain married to a man like that.

'My young Nanny's Mother has just died prematurely. How can I gouge her wages during what is probably the worst time of her life?'

I have no words.

This is the person who cares on a regular basis for your precious dc. The poor woman has just lost her mum. There might not be any contractual obligation to pay for the days that were missed, but there is a moral one. It's the only decent thing to do. Your dh needs to give his head a good wobble.

Good for you!

I can't imagine being uncaring enough to withhold pay in a situation like this.

You would have paid her anyway and you've not lost out on anything - please pay her. That poor woman.

I would pay, I wouldn't pay a nursery business that couldn't take my child for a day, but an individual is different.

You say you’ve already paid it.

Did you have to pay again for someone else to look after your child for those two days? Did you lose money by not being able to work due to lack of childcare? Or did you manage to muddle through it?

If you suffered no financial loss then it would be unbelievably cruel to ask her to reimburse you because her Mum died.

Kindness goes far in this world. And if you hope to have the kind of childminder who would bend over backwards to help you out in the future if you ever need a favour from her, then do the right thing. Or if you want a childminder who thinks you are petty and unkind….. then go ahead!

I have a cleaner once a week, self employed. He was not allowed to work all through the Covid lockdowns. Legally I didn’t have to pay him, but morally I felt it was right to continue to pay him. My husband and I were still earning the same salary through the lockdowns so we felt it was right to help him and his family through a difficult time.

I would pay, especially as you didn’t lose any money from taking days off, or have to pay anything extra for emergency childcare. My childminder was amazing and she was like family after a few years, I think if you can absorb the cost that would be the best thing to do!

I would pay her.

I would pay. Seems unfair not to.

If it didn't cost you anything I'd leave it. It would have been different if you'd been unable to work due to no childcare and had to take 2 days unpaid leave, as would happen at my work.

I would pay it to show her support at a difficult time.

If she literally said to take it off, then take it off next month's. It depends strongly on your relationship with her, and your own financial situation. But I'd probably not be taking it off.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to work when you've lost your mum days ago.

Seems a dickish thing to do, to insist upon deducting the money.

I'd ignore him (and if he asked, say 'Oh, yes, it's sorted') and just pay the standard amount again.

If it didn’t cost you any money in other childcare fees then I’d not deduct the money.
Obviously if a parent had to pay someone else for last minute childcare then they would be reasonable in deducting the cost.

If you can afford to then I would pay her. What your DH said was incredibly heartless. You don’t need to be pay her (legal perspective) but I think you should pay her (moral perspective)

Mean spirited I think in this situation yes would pay.