Childminder pay after bereavement

I agree OP did the right thing by paying anyway but, come on, what does this type of sensationalist daily mail clickbait style exaggeration achieve? OP has said literally nothing to indicate either that the childminder was young or that the death was premature, you've completely made that up!

Besides which, why would either of those things even be relevant?
The death of your parent is horrendous in most circumstances, it's still upsetting even if you're middle aged and they are elderly and the death wasn't unexpected.

Also, pedantic but you clearly do have words to express your view of the circumstances, you've used 24 of them....

Well done OP . You are doing the right thing . This is someone who has cared for 3 of your children. Good will goes a long way.

Pay her. It’s the decent thing to do.

It wouldn’t cross my mind for a second to not pay her. Your husband is very unkind.

The woman looks after your children and from what I gather good childminders are hard to find. Who in their right minds would want to sour that relationship?

I had to go to hospital and ended up being off work 2 weeks. Two of my families paid me. I was so grateful I cried. I didn't have a lot of savings so it really helped

Just 2 days - let it go.

How would you expect your employer/clients to treat you?

This. Have a heart.

I'd be appalled if my partner had your husband's attitude.

I would pay too - especially as you suffered no financial loss… it’s a decent and kind thing to do for someone you trust to care for your kids. I always think that relationship is always a bit more than transactional. X

These were my thoughts too. I'd actually be really disappointed in this response from anyone I considered a friend, much less my partner.

I would 100% pay her, and drop her a bunch of nice flowers, her mums just died and she's facing questions about deducting money.

Can you imagine going back to work so soon after losing your mum? Poor woman

Please pay her! A little kindness goes a long way!

It’s a funny one. Child minders tend to prefer self employment, so that they can set their own terms and conditions. Part of that is knowing that if you are unable to work, there won’t be money coming in. For some parents, if they had to pay alternate child care or take unpaid leave from work, there simply wouldn’t be the funds to pay their usual childminder as well. As that wasn’t the case for you, and your childminder didn’t ’expect’ to be paid anyway, I would say you did the right thing.

Pay her, but give your husband notice.

She's lost her mother, this shouldn't even be a question. Pay her.

If this is the third one of your children she's looked after, you obviously value her so paying her the normal amount goes hand in hand with that. Your husband is being harsh.

@LlynTegid heartless. It's right that she offered but only someone very cold (or desperate) would take them up on that.

Also if you do deduct, remember its a 2 way street, i wouldnt expect any favours (that you will Inevitably need over the years) in the future.

Thank you!! On behalf of all women, who scrape together some semblance of an income that fits around their family and the structural inequalities of the male focussed workplace where women earn less for the same jobs than men, work fewer hours than men, occupy a higher proportion of low paid jobs than men, have longer periods without work than men and are more likely to end up in poverty in old age than men.

You pay and chalk the money loss up to not being an awful human being.

Childminder has offered, so I would accept the offer and pay less next month.

I'm a childminder and wouldn't charge- I'd take it off next month's invoice. I didn't charge when my Dad died a few years ago

If you can't think of any reason why you would build any care or kindness into this relationship I would go ahead and make you sure you only perform the bare contractual minimum you are obliged to

Honestly I despair sometimes
She is the woman that looks after your child week in week out, her mum has died and you want to deduct money from her wage. I'd be buying her flowers personally, not thinking of financially penalising her

I'd hope she would have factored things like this into her pricing/ contract etc but contract or no contract, take a good hard look at yourself. Really is it worth pocketing the money you have spent anyway??

Agree with this