Childminder pay after bereavement

It was 2 days, not 2 weeks, I’d swallow that out of compassion (and because likely it would engender leniency or reliability to me)

Depends on the contract and if there is give / take in the relationship. I would have to take unpaid days off work or my husband would as we have used our annual leave by this stage in the year. So 3 days of unpaid leave soon mounts up. We have toddler twins so getting work done would be nearly impossible

Wow.

DH is a prize. 😬

He’s being a prick.

What did he think of you paying your cleaner throughout the whole of covid? Since that was a lot more money.

I wouldn't even be debating this, I'd be paying her without a second thought.

You mean a lower hourly rate don't you?

Self employed contractors charge £20/£30+ per hour. Childminders charge £4/£5/£6 etc.

Agreed.

OP you should pay, the poor woman just lost her mum, not the time to be worrying about the bills too.

Do they? I got 3 days when my mum died and I had to work the morning of her funeral.
I would pay your childminder.

I've often paid cleaners in similar personal crises but a CM is slightly different. They tend to work longer hours, charge a higher hourly rate (quite rightly) and have stricter contracts that specify the expectations on each side. It's also easy enough for me to replicate their services occasionally at no financial cost to myself.

I guess it depends how important she is to you. If you value the relationship and want to keep her then pay her. If she isn't that good and there are lots of alternative childcare alternatives around then withhold the money and prepare to be let go.

This

@familylifeishard You sound a very generous person.
If you can afford it , all is well.

If you were say a single parent who would have to pay for childcare elsewhere, I'd say not paying is understandable, too.

This depends entirely on two things:

The nature of the contract

The nature of the relationship

Hopefully the contracts you issue ensure that the costs of your sick pay etc are factored into the rate you charge.

This is very unlikely to be the case for a childminder.

You shouldn't really have to ask, you're as bad as your mean, heartless husband, just pay her and a bunch of flowers wouldn't go amiss................

I would personally pay her. It’s not something that’s likely to happen often. Yes it’s a downside of being self employed but I paid my dog Walker for the first month of covid before she sorted out family help. Because I am fortunate enough to get sick pay, a few days paid special leave for loss of a parent, and I was fortunate to keep working throughout covid so no change to my pay. I know my dog Walker really appreciated, despite the fact I had zero obligation to do that. It’s just being kind, so I think your initial thought is the correct one and your DH needs to find some compassion inside him so that your poor childminder doesn’t need to think about less income on top of what’s probably the worse week of her life

It’s really kind of you to pay her OP but absolutely unnecessary and perfectly reasonable of your husband to not want to pay for services not received. I am self employed and haven’t been paid for holiday pay, sick pay, looking after my own child when they are sick, managing the palliative care and passing of both my MIL and FIL in the last 2 years, or time off for 6 lost pregnancies, nor did I expect to be!! These are the choices we make when we choose a particular career path. There are lots of pros to being self employed and as a professional I expect to take the rough with the smooth!

If I could afford to lose the money I would let her have it, if not I wouldn't 🤷‍♀️

Slightly different but we paid our dog walker when his dad suddenly passed. He has walked our dog for 5 years now and that was first time he had any unexpected absence so we paid.

Good will and showing we care

At this point, I would be considering the relationship with the DH. Must be awful married to a man whose first thought is money.....

That's not what the OP said though - her husband is another matter.

I think the childminder has been professional in offering to deduct the fee. You've been humane and decent in offering to pay anyway.

its only ever going to happen once.
probably lst thing on her mind. id py/not deduct.

I’m so sorry. You seem to have married a cunt.

Ditto

As much as I agree with everybody else that paying her is morally right, it is still a goodwill gesture!
She is not OP’s nanny she is a self employed woman. Typically, self employed means you bill more for a day’s work than you would earn as an employee. And this difference is exactly to make up for the fact that you will only be paid when you are able to work. You can even insure yourself to receive money when unable to work in specific circumstances. It is 100% the self employed person’s decision how safe they want to be. Most people, out of greed, will choose not to take such insurance (not judging, I did so myself, as do most people).

Not sure why you want to twist this as a poor innocent worker being badly treated by their mean employer.