Childminder pay after bereavement

Childminder isn’t necessarily taking only 2 days - OP said she was off 2 of the days her child was there - she could have had other days too and lost other parents’ fees too.

That’s a bit harsh. If you are self employed, you need to factor in that some of your wages needs to be kept aside for unexpected time off - e.g sickness. if the service you offer is not available then the user of your service may have to pay for alternative childcare or take unpaid leave so to say they have to take the hit or you’ll cancel the contract is totally unfair unless it was part of the contract upfront to allow for x days of sick leave etc so the client can budget for that/take the hit.

Having said that, OP, if you were able to manage without paying for alternative childcare and given it’s a bereavement and she has only taken off two days to try and minimise the impact then I think it would send a message of understanding and that you value her to not deduct her pay given the circumstances plus she’s more likely to be understanding/flexible with you if you need it in future so in your case I would still pay her.

Your DH is frankly a sanctimonious arsehole. “She should live with the consequences of being self-employed?” This a woman who cares for your children. Of course you should pay her.

I'm not sure why you'd even ask.

So you are not angry but you are self righteous? Good to know

Angry? Are you projecting?

Can't be nice to live in a head that's this angry and self righteous

ETA the op herself has admitted that she doesn't know if it's in the contract or not. So you don't know anymore than she does whether this is out of the cont.

Funny, that you say this: Pay her outside of the contract and expect she will do something extra for you later.
If it was state system, it would qualify as a bribe, but in private setup it is just a business, buying a future advantage.

Sure, if you see paying now as an investment, go for it. Just don't pretend it is a morale based choice.

On the basis that you were able to cope I would pay her, you didn’t have to pay for an alternative and you managed. The child minders bills and out goings are still the damage and having to financially struggle on top of handling the bereavement would put more strain on her. You wnat a healthy happy childminder who will be grateful that you hadn’t considered this a business transaction

This made me snort! It is a pretty cuntish attitude he has.

Exactly.

Dont be ridiculous, this is the exact opposite to treating someone like they should be grateful. The OP is the one who is grateful and is showing that by paying her for the time she was off, through no fault of her own.

And, as I and many others have pointed out, goodwill is worth a lot. She will remember this and if she has a choice between putting herself out for the OP and another client who didnt pay, well who do you think she will choose?

He's a dick and you know it.

You made the right choice op. Your good relationship with her is worth more than the money. If you had been out of pocket fair enough deduct it but you were not. Technically you probably wouldn't have to pay as per a normal CM contract. But currently there is more need for childcare than there are providers

Op if you can afford it then yes I'd still pay her, but if you can't

She must be able to afford it because if the childminder had been available as normal she would have paid her. And she said she worked with her child at home.

Yes, I think in a relationship like this where goodwill goes a long way, I would give and take.

On this occasion, I'd pay her.

She's looking after your most precious thing in the world and I would want to keep her on side because of this. I imagine that goodwill would go a long way and she'll remember that you stepped up in her hour of need.

Your “darling” husband is a tight ass.

if You value this childminder just leave the pay as it is.

When I had a childminder (I was at Uni as a mature student) we came to an arrangement that a retainer would be paid (ie 50% for vacation time or my son would go in for 2-3 day a week). As she is the one unable to work ask her if she want a retainer fee. However my cleaner says no work, no pay (or even no pay,no work if you are a bad payer)

What a nice person you are...

Oh my gosh of course just pay her. The fact you have to ask is depressing.

Lovely DH!!

I would take it off the next month’s invoice. You have a contract with her, not an agreement to support her through life’s difficulties. She didn’t (and shouldn’t) check in with you in advance to agree what would be reasonable because she’s self employed and one of the benefits of that is that she’s her own boss. The downside is that she’s responsible, one way or another, for filling in any gaps.

if you can spare it and it didn’t incur any cost for you then you could pay her out of goodwill BUT you don’t have any obligation too.

But it is a business transaction

I think your DH is getting a very unfair roasting on here. Yes, personally I would definitely pay her in these circumstances, particularly when she's otherwise very reliable and you haven't had to pay for back up childcare so won't be out of pocket BUT it's not required under the contract and there is no 'moral' obligation to do so in my opinion. That's the deal with being self employed (and I don't know many employees who get more than a few days paid bereavement leave either - it's not a legal requirement to offer paid leave for this in the UK) so I find it harsh that so many people are calling the DH a horrible person for suggesting not to pay her.