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Original poster

To think that feminist discussions on AIBU get shut down as soon as women don't sit down, shut up and be kind?

116 replies

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 16:56

I have seen several discussions the last few days be shut down, or even whole sale removed, as soon as women get a bit too big for their boots and start having opinions on things bigger than flower arranging or what to make DH for dinner.

I've not seen any of those discussions verge into illegal, defamatory or even offensive - just women give clear red lines about what is and is not acceptable to them.

What is the criteria? Given the lack of democratic discussion spaces (they all prioritise men) it would be nice to have more space to discuss this without being hived off to the Feminism section?

OP posts:
Gelasring · 25/09/2024 17:32

Anyone else cringing themselves inside out right now? This thread is probably going to run to 1000 posts now when a simple 'oops, I misunderstood' would have had it falling off the active threads list by now

DutchCowgirl · 25/09/2024 17:31

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:24

No they really, really don't. There is no database in the world where it's 1,000 messages and then at 1001 it breaks, thats just not how it works and it certainly isn't in 2024

How many messages do you think Facebook has?

or instagram?

Or even the Messages app on your phone?

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But i doubt the mumsnet servers will have the capacity that comes anywhere near Facebook. This is just old software that runs as long as the advertisers pay. No big tech here.

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:30

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:28

OK sure - tell me why you don't think the UK leads the world in digital engagement?

You tell me why we lead the world in accessible, usable, user focussed digital experiences?

It's easier to renew your passport now, or pay your taxes for example, because of people like me sweating blood to make it happen. And the best thing about it is that because we focus on quantitive data as well as qualitative interviews - we can prove it has gotten better.

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Listen, being the best in the public sector worldwide just means you are best in a field not known for being great. In fact it's known for being a bit of a car crash.

But do carry on.

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:28

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:27

You really really aren't going to convince me further by quoting stuff like that. Trust me.

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OK sure - tell me why you don't think the UK leads the world in digital engagement?

You tell me why we lead the world in accessible, usable, user focussed digital experiences?

It's easier to renew your passport now, or pay your taxes for example, because of people like me sweating blood to make it happen. And the best thing about it is that because we focus on quantitive data as well as qualitative interviews - we can prove it has gotten better.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:27

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:25

GDS-Government Digital Services, leads the world in accessible, usable interfaces for government - thats why the UK has the best, and I do mean the best, digital experience for government in the world. People come from everywhere to copy what we do.

https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/government-digital-service/about

Edited
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You really really aren't going to convince me further by quoting stuff like that. Trust me.

Kiuyni · 25/09/2024 17:25

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:18

I work in software, thats a bug, not a feature, and a very surmountable one at that.

Plus the message says:

"This thread is not accepting new messages."

Which leads people to think - it has been muzzled :)

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Oh dear.

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:25

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:23

I'm head of UCD in a small firm, I've worked in 12 different government departments

Welllllll.... That explains a fair amount tbh!

GDS-Government Digital Services, leads the world in accessible, usable interfaces for government - thats why the UK has the best, and I do mean the best, digital experience for government in the world. People come from everywhere to copy what we do.

https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/government-digital-service/about

OP posts:
MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 17:24

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:23

I'm head of UCD in a small firm, I've worked in 12 different government departments

Welllllll.... That explains a fair amount tbh!

😂

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:24

SpookyX · 25/09/2024 17:13

Dadjokes appearing in 3...2...1...

That's some clairvoyant skills...

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:24

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:23

I've been on forums 'forever'.

Once they get past a certain point they have server and data issues.

A thousand post limit makes the site run more reliably and efficiently.

I question why you don't know and understand this with 28 years in the field.

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No they really, really don't. There is no database in the world where it's 1,000 messages and then at 1001 it breaks, thats just not how it works and it certainly isn't in 2024

How many messages do you think Facebook has?

or instagram?

Or even the Messages app on your phone?

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:23

I'm head of UCD in a small firm, I've worked in 12 different government departments

Welllllll.... That explains a fair amount tbh!

DollopOfFun · 25/09/2024 17:23

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:20

Clearly at least one person, without deep domain knowledge of the software did think that - so yes, really.

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Well at least you know now, by the very fact that they've reached the maximum post limit, that those kind of threads very much aren't closed down. So that's good isn't it?

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:23

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:20

28 years of being a user experience designer, says it's a fault.

But OK.

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I've been on forums 'forever'.

Once they get past a certain point they have server and data issues.

A thousand post limit makes the site run more reliably and efficiently.

I question why you don't know and understand this with 28 years in the field.

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:23

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 17:18

Oh dear. Don't keep digging - you must feel a bit silly but just own it.

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No I don't feel silly at all - I think it would be very reasonable for someone who saw the message:

"This thread is not accepting new messages."

To think it had been arbitrarily shut down

And as I say, I do UX design and research for a living and I'm head of UCD in a small firm, I've worked in 12 different government departments on the GDS standard for 12 years of that, its a very poor user experience and messaging.

But cool - now I know :)

OP posts:
DadJoke · 25/09/2024 17:22

There is an entire forum devoted to this content, and constant stream of AIBUs which boil down to "Am I Being Unreasonable to Be Gender Critical?" and the hikacking of LGBT threads asking for advice is very dull.

The interview one, where people were saying non-binary people were mentally ill was not helpful to the OP, who just wanted advice for their non-binary DC looking for jobs. In between the insults, there was some good advice.

I'm trying to think of any other context where answering a simlar question with "your DC is mentally ill" when they aren't, would be acceptable.

Feminist discussions about any subject other than transgender people seem to go just fine. But that's not what OP means.

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:20

DollopOfFun · 25/09/2024 17:19

Which leads people to think - it has been muzzled :)

Well no, not really.

Show quote history

Clearly at least one person, without deep domain knowledge of the software did think that - so yes, really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:20

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:19

No. It's really not.

There's another thread on the same subject that is still open.

If you want to continue talking about it, you could use that thread.

You have not been prevented from posting.

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28 years of being a user experience designer, says it's a fault.

But OK.

OP posts:
DollopOfFun · 25/09/2024 17:19

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:18

I work in software, thats a bug, not a feature, and a very surmountable one at that.

Plus the message says:

"This thread is not accepting new messages."

Which leads people to think - it has been muzzled :)

Show quote history

Which leads people to think - it has been muzzled :)

Well no, not really.

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:19

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:16

Cos they've hit the 1000 post limit!!!

That's normal.

It's what happens to EVERY thread by default.

It hasn't been 'shut down'!

Facepalm

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ok - well - the messaging is pretty shit if thats the case isn't it as it says:

"This thread is not accepting new messages."

Thats not clear in the slightest.

there's also no reason at all to only have 1,000 responses, thats a very arbitrary number not one rooted in a technical limitation

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:19

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:18

thats a fault.

Show quote history

No. It's really not.

There's another thread on the same subject that is still open.

If you want to continue talking about it, you could use that thread.

You have not been prevented from posting.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 17:18

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:18

I work in software, thats a bug, not a feature, and a very surmountable one at that.

Plus the message says:

"This thread is not accepting new messages."

Which leads people to think - it has been muzzled :)

Show quote history

Oh dear. Don't keep digging - you must feel a bit silly but just own it.

Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:18

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:17

No. Every thread has a 1000 post limit and has forever on MN.

No fault. By design.

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thats a fault.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:18

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 17:16

It's not a bug, it's a feature. When threads got too long they cause instability in software so nearly every forum has a thread limit. If people want to continue the conversation they start a thread #2.

Show quote history

I work in software, thats a bug, not a feature, and a very surmountable one at that.

Plus the message says:

"This thread is not accepting new messages."

Which leads people to think - it has been muzzled :)

OP posts:
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