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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that feminist discussions on AIBU get shut down as soon as women don't sit down, shut up and be kind?

116 replies

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 16:56

I have seen several discussions the last few days be shut down, or even whole sale removed, as soon as women get a bit too big for their boots and start having opinions on things bigger than flower arranging or what to make DH for dinner.

I've not seen any of those discussions verge into illegal, defamatory or even offensive - just women give clear red lines about what is and is not acceptable to them.

What is the criteria? Given the lack of democratic discussion spaces (they all prioritise men) it would be nice to have more space to discuss this without being hived off to the Feminism section?

OP posts:

Kiuyni · 25/09/2024 19:15

SpookyX · 25/09/2024 19:13

Called it.

Show quote history

Totally agree.

SpookyX · 25/09/2024 19:13

DadJoke · 25/09/2024 17:22

There is an entire forum devoted to this content, and constant stream of AIBUs which boil down to "Am I Being Unreasonable to Be Gender Critical?" and the hikacking of LGBT threads asking for advice is very dull.

The interview one, where people were saying non-binary people were mentally ill was not helpful to the OP, who just wanted advice for their non-binary DC looking for jobs. In between the insults, there was some good advice.

I'm trying to think of any other context where answering a simlar question with "your DC is mentally ill" when they aren't, would be acceptable.

Feminist discussions about any subject other than transgender people seem to go just fine. But that's not what OP means.

Edited

Called it.

Wheredidileavemycarkeys · 25/09/2024 19:03

Never mind OP. We all make mistakes.

LoobyDoop2 · 25/09/2024 18:50

So is this actually a lame attempt to promote the fabulous UX on government web services? Because most of us have probably had to use them already and have our own opinions on them.

Frequency · 25/09/2024 18:47

Kindness on AIBU? Do we read the same forum? None of threads in AIBU are kind.

Storyland · 25/09/2024 18:42

But surely OP, you're relieved to hear that the discussions that mattered to you weren't being shut down by mumsnet for sexist reasons? In fact, the opposite was happening- the discussions continued until they reached a 1000 posts - the maximum this forum allows. You should be happy!

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 18:36

Search engine optimisation... 1000 posts.

GuPuddingRamekinHoarder · 25/09/2024 18:32

A posting limit on a thread is a standard feature across forums, OP. See below about Reddit’s 1,000 post limit.

www.reddit.com/r/redditdev/s/Uik8dSi0Xo

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2024 18:26

AltReality · 25/09/2024 18:22

Well, OP, you should have been here a couple or three years ago when all gender identity discussions were shunted off to the dark corners of feminist chat where the evil witches hung out.

Yes, the Overton window has been flung wide open.

NahNotHavingIt · 25/09/2024 18:23

And as I say, I do UX design and research for a living and I'm head of UCD in a small firm, I've worked in 12 different government departments on the GDS standard for 12 years of that

This is the internet mate.

For all we know you could be an unemployed yoni masseur from Hull 😏

AltReality · 25/09/2024 18:22

Well, OP, you should have been here a couple or three years ago when all gender identity discussions were shunted off to the dark corners of feminist chat where the evil witches hung out.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2024 18:19

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:14

sure - this one has been closed:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5172833-female-nurses-have-to-get-changed-with-a-male-they-are-told-to-go-to-another-room-the-man-keeps-the-female-changing-room-to-himself-wtaf-is-going-on?page=9&reply=138549607

and this one is now closed

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5172632-to-think-that-non-binary-candidates-are-more-unlikely-to-be-offered-a-job?page=25&reply=138533942

and digging through my history, there was one I saw which is now deleted
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5173083-to-think-that-non-binaryjust-doesnt-exist

Show quote history

Both those threads closed because they filled up. 1000 posts is the maximum.

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 18:17

Helleofabore · 25/09/2024 18:14

I do remember there being a glitch a couple of years ago before they did a major update. Sometimes a thread would allow 1002 posts!!

They were the days....

Ah yes.

There is the MN sport of managing to get the last word in... that's an art form.

Helleofabore · 25/09/2024 18:14

I do remember there being a glitch a couple of years ago before they did a major update. Sometimes a thread would allow 1002 posts!!

They were the days....

NahNotHavingIt · 25/09/2024 18:11

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:20

28 years of being a user experience designer, says it's a fault.

But OK.

Show quote history

And yet you're wrong 🤷‍♂️

SalmonAndHorseradish · 25/09/2024 18:03

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 25/09/2024 17:35

A fault implies it's a bug, an accident, unintentional, a flaw.

1000 messages is the max by the choice of the website owners. Not a fault.

This. ^^

OP, I actually agreed with your initial point, all you had to do was own your mistake in the examples you gave. By doubling down you've derailed the thread to the point that I almost wonder if you were just trolling in the first place.

Helleofabore · 25/09/2024 18:00

SpookyX · 25/09/2024 17:13

Dadjokes appearing in 3...2...1...

oh dear!

PickAChew · 25/09/2024 17:59

Zahariel · 25/09/2024 17:20

28 years of being a user experience designer, says it's a fault.

But OK.

Show quote history

From a user's POV, 1000 posts is less arbitrary than 1024. It's no biggie. People just continue the discussion in a new thread or one that's become a pissing contest dies its natural and welcome death.

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:53

Good developers rarely work for government because the pay is so shit.

HisNibs · 25/09/2024 17:50

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 25/09/2024 17:35

A fault implies it's a bug, an accident, unintentional, a flaw.

1000 messages is the max by the choice of the website owners. Not a fault.

^ This

It's like a car crash in slow motion. Rule of hole... stop digging. Op - don't ever let your employer know your username on here.

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2024 17:37

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 17:33

It's like watching one of those car crash interviews on Dragon's Den, isn't it? Painful but so entertaining.

Show quote history

😂

CarmelaBrunella · 25/09/2024 17:35

Gelasring · 25/09/2024 17:32

Anyone else cringing themselves inside out right now? This thread is probably going to run to 1000 posts now when a simple 'oops, I misunderstood' would have had it falling off the active threads list by now

I know 😳

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 25/09/2024 17:35

A fault implies it's a bug, an accident, unintentional, a flaw.

1000 messages is the max by the choice of the website owners. Not a fault.

CarmelaBrunella · 25/09/2024 17:34

Oh my god. Really ?
OP, really, they're always closed at 1k, please listen to pp. It's not muzzling, it's standard.......

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 17:33

Gelasring · 25/09/2024 17:32

It's like watching one of those car crash interviews on Dragon's Den, isn't it? Painful but so entertaining.

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