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Original poster

To be devastated by breakup text

107 replies

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:24

'Hi, I'm sorry but we must discuss this. I'll be direct, we can't continue this. I know this is disappointing and you may be disappointed in me for doing this now when you booked and paid for our holiday already, but I can't go forward with this. I have fallen in love with someone else unexpectedly. I'm happy to pay for the cost of the ticket, you need someone who can offer what you need.

This is me, not you. Don't think that. You're brilliant and I liked spending time together and chatting but we have little in common and don't need the same things. Please see my side of this and understand why I need to finish with you. I understand if you detest me for this, I would if I were you. I didn't intend for this. I hope you can move forward'

I booked a nearly £2,000 holiday for us, non refundable, including £700 for his ticket, 12 days ago.

How the HELL do you fall in love with someone else in 12 days? I also told him it wasn't refundable and that he wouldn't be able to change his mind, which he has now done anyway, because sod me, my feelings and my finances, I guess.

The holiday was planned for October. He's a nice guy but this is so...wormy. Why has he worded it like HR has just fired me!?

OP posts:
cuddlebear · 25/09/2024 14:12

I would go alone or see if a friend can go with you?

Catlord · 25/09/2024 14:10

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:07

Feels like it. It really hurts so bad.

Edited
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Well get back to work tomorrow. Speak to a good friend tonight if you can or do something nice for yourself. But normality and structure tomorrow

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/09/2024 14:08

Well definitely take him up on the offer to refund for the tickets - plural as you didn’t sign up to go alone.

His text is a bit waffling and although he says “it’s me” he tries a lot to justify himself. It’s just very immature I think.

I know it’s painful but please see this as a lucky escape from an immature man.

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:07

Discombobulated2024 · 25/09/2024 14:04

The message was not written by a human. He can’t write a message in his own words. And he’s also far from ‘nice’. It’s a shock right now but after you’ve got the money back and had the holiday (with it without another friend) you’ll realise you had a lucky escape from him. You hadn’t been together long. It’s shit but not the end of the world.

Feels like it. It really hurts so bad.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 25/09/2024 14:06

The only issue I see is your very poor decision in paying for a holiday with a 21 year old you barely know. He is completely entitled to end this relationship, for any reason.

Catlord · 25/09/2024 14:06

Ok, text was really not cool but I think immaturity played a huge part at 21. Obv he should have thought before agreeing but better you know where you stand.

You're not saying how long you were together so I'm thinking this may be better taken as a lesson learnt rather than a sympathy pile on (although I am sorry, it must hurt regardless).

Take him up on accepting his share back.

Go on the holiday anyway if non refundable. Move on. Don't make any large up front expenses like this again in a newish relationship.

Discombobulated2024 · 25/09/2024 14:04

The message was not written by a human. He can’t write a message in his own words. And he’s also far from ‘nice’. It’s a shock right now but after you’ve got the money back and had the holiday (with it without another friend) you’ll realise you had a lucky escape from him. You hadn’t been together long. It’s shit but not the end of the world.

Bestyearever2024 · 25/09/2024 14:04

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:01

I’m not sure if this post is entirely real but…

Are you off your rocker? Why on earth are you spending thousands on a holiday for a 21 year old that you haven’t been with for that long. I feel like no offence, this is a big life lesson for you.

This ^

Absolutely crazy to pay for everything for a very young man who you hardly know

Well.....you know him now and you know that you dodged a bullet

EcoChica1980 · 25/09/2024 14:03

I think you should ask him to pay his share of the holiday.

But he is allowed to leave the relationship if he wants, whether that's for someone else or not.

ForSereneBluePombear · 25/09/2024 14:03

His words were something along the lines of ‘I enjoyed chatting and spending time together’ - you mustn’t have been with him long at all for that sort of wording, and you made a huge mistake blowing that much money on someone you didn’t know for very long. Let him pay you his half and be done with it, lesson learnt. Find someone older too.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 14:02

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:54

He didn't cheat on me, he decided to end our relationship before pursuing her. At least that's what he told me.

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Uh huh.

Having looked at your other post... there is more to life than men. I think you need to get some perspective and life experience.

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:01

Ask him to send the money to you now. Today. It wouldn’t surprise me if you never get it, tbh. Then block and move on!

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:01

I’m not sure if this post is entirely real but…

Are you off your rocker? Why on earth are you spending thousands on a holiday for a 21 year old that you haven’t been with for that long. I feel like no offence, this is a big life lesson for you.

Alina3 · 25/09/2024 13:58

Don't massively see the issue tbh, I'd rather be broken up with via message to gather my thoughts and not let them see me upset.

He's offered to financially make it right, and been honest. Better than stringing you along.

Fedup369 · 25/09/2024 13:57

Your username is pretty concerning you may want to consider therapy. but aside from that just ask for half the holiday cost back and take your mum or a friend. Don't dwell on it, so you got dumped it sucks but you'll be fine

XelaM · 25/09/2024 13:56

Mostlyoblivious · 25/09/2024 13:53

Send him your bank details.

This.

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:55

GalileoHumpkins · 25/09/2024 13:54

That's a little dramatic. How long were you seeing each other?

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Enough time to gain an attachment to him.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 25/09/2024 13:54

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender so I think it would be a little harsh to expect him to pay both our flights and probably not very realistic. I think it was decent of him to offer to pay but I'm still heartbroken. It feels like he has ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me with the same glee an infant shakes his toy rattle before his Mother.

Show quote history

That's a little dramatic. How long were you seeing each other?

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:54

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 13:48

Don't you think it's a bit harsh for you to be £1300 down because he cheated on you?

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He didn't cheat on me, he decided to end our relationship before pursuing her. At least that's what he told me.

OP posts:
Mostlyoblivious · 25/09/2024 13:53

Send him your bank details.

Radiat · 25/09/2024 13:51

How long had you been together? It seems really harsh of him to do this, but tbh at 21 I wouldn’t hold it against him in the same way as if he was 10 years older. 21 year old guys are often still very emotionally immature.

loropianalover · 25/09/2024 13:49

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender

oh OP… in the nicest way, seriously?! He’s not in love with anyone new. He doesn’t know the meaning of it, the meaning of relationships in general, and it seems like he doesn’t know the meaning of money either. Why the hell did you book a holiday with a 21 year old?!!

You just know he felt so deep and sincere writing that text. ‘I hope you can move forward’ lol.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 13:48

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender so I think it would be a little harsh to expect him to pay both our flights and probably not very realistic. I think it was decent of him to offer to pay but I'm still heartbroken. It feels like he has ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me with the same glee an infant shakes his toy rattle before his Mother.

Show quote history

Don't you think it's a bit harsh for you to be £1300 down because he cheated on you?

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

Misfitkickedoutonthestreet · 25/09/2024 13:46

Is he the ‘high value’ 6 footer from your other post?!

Certainly not. But he is 6'2.

OP posts: