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Original poster

To be devastated by breakup text

107 replies

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:24

'Hi, I'm sorry but we must discuss this. I'll be direct, we can't continue this. I know this is disappointing and you may be disappointed in me for doing this now when you booked and paid for our holiday already, but I can't go forward with this. I have fallen in love with someone else unexpectedly. I'm happy to pay for the cost of the ticket, you need someone who can offer what you need.

This is me, not you. Don't think that. You're brilliant and I liked spending time together and chatting but we have little in common and don't need the same things. Please see my side of this and understand why I need to finish with you. I understand if you detest me for this, I would if I were you. I didn't intend for this. I hope you can move forward'

I booked a nearly £2,000 holiday for us, non refundable, including £700 for his ticket, 12 days ago.

How the HELL do you fall in love with someone else in 12 days? I also told him it wasn't refundable and that he wouldn't be able to change his mind, which he has now done anyway, because sod me, my feelings and my finances, I guess.

The holiday was planned for October. He's a nice guy but this is so...wormy. Why has he worded it like HR has just fired me!?

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 25/09/2024 14:29

Get the money from him, go on your own and have a fabulous time. You may even meet Mr right?

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 25/09/2024 14:29

He's 21, they barely more than grunt these days. You need to grow up a bit op. At least he didn't dump you on the holiday.

recyclemeagain · 25/09/2024 14:28

@BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan definitely on the right thread. If you had no interest in flaunting your materialism you'd have been happy enough with a £99 city break with the guy. Honestly you just seem bored and letting your imagination run wild on MN. Whatever floats your boat I guess.

safarileader · 25/09/2024 14:28

bingo!

To be devastated by breakup text
Mskrabapple · 25/09/2024 14:28

I mean… if I was going to dump you, I would do it by text too. The dramatics from an in person breakup with you would be far more than I’d willingly put myself through.

No one likes to be dumped, but his message was actually quite kind.

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:27

coxesorangepippin · 25/09/2024 14:27

I have no interest in projecting my materialism on social media and I'm not sure how you made that conclusion.

^

You said on here that you paid 2k for a fancy holiday???

Because it's relevant context to the magnitude of my financial loss and correlates to the emotional loss.

OP posts:
DonnaBanana · 25/09/2024 14:27

He's a fickle 21 year old. I'd take this as a blessing, take his money for the ticket, and wash your hands of him. Even if you don't like the text, would you prefer to know exactly where you are right now or have him cheating on you behind your back or being a dick later on? Always treasure a quick escape from future heartache.

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:27

CleanShirt · 25/09/2024 14:26

Being dumped over text is awful, but spending £2k on a holiday with someone you haven't been seeing long isn't ideal either.

Your username is a little scary. Men are optional, not a necessity.

I know, it was so stupid and impulsive of me. I hate myself and I never learn from my mistakes.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 25/09/2024 14:27

I have no interest in projecting my materialism on social media and I'm not sure how you made that conclusion.

^

You said on here that you paid 2k for a fancy holiday???

safarileader · 25/09/2024 14:27

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:55

Enough time to gain an attachment to him.

Show quote history

meaningless answer

RedheadedSoulStealer · 25/09/2024 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:26

safarileader · 25/09/2024 14:25

why the HELL did you pay for this holiday?!! you just be on minim wage yourself

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No, I'm a junior academic.

OP posts:
CleanShirt · 25/09/2024 14:26

Being dumped over text is awful, but spending £2k on a holiday with someone you haven't been seeing long isn't ideal either.

Your username is a little scary. Men are optional, not a necessity.

safarileader · 25/09/2024 14:26

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:44

Not very long in fairness, but he did agree to the holiday weeks before I booked it and he even booked time off work for it. I'm gutted.

I asked if it was his ex and he denied it. I asked if it was a colleague and he said yes and that she had just quit. I feel very insulted that he said this because it feels like he is trying to prevent me from showing up to his work and starting shit with this other girl (if she exists).

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what is “ not very long”

coxesorangepippin · 25/09/2024 14:25

Lesson learnt

Don't pay for fancy holidays for men you've just met

Especially when they're 21

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:25

ICarriedTheWatermelon · 25/09/2024 14:24

What a weasel faced jerk!!

Sorry you are going through this, dumping someone via text is just mean and pathetic.

He griped about his ex dumping him by text at length about how mean and evil it was of her not to do it in person and then he did the same thing to me!

OP posts:
InPlainSightYouHidButYouAreWhatYouDid · 25/09/2024 14:25

Why won't you specifically answer the question of how long you were with him?

You booked the holiday 12 days ago, so you're being specific there.

safarileader · 25/09/2024 14:25

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender so I think it would be a little harsh to expect him to pay both our flights and probably not very realistic. I think it was decent of him to offer to pay but I'm still heartbroken. It feels like he has ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me with the same glee an infant shakes his toy rattle before his Mother.

Show quote history

why the HELL did you pay for this holiday?!! you just be on minim wage yourself

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:25

Clarinet1 · 25/09/2024 14:24

I think it was a cowardly way for him to dump you but: Firstly, yes get the money back from him for the holiday; Secondly, see whether you can find someone else to go with (Friend? Sister? Mum? Favourite Auntie?); Thirdly, and most importantly, please, please get away from what your user name suggests, your sole purpose in life is not to pair off with man; there are lots of wonderful times to be had following interests, with friends and even on you own! If anyone tells you otherwise, they are not good friends. Also, they do say nothing attracts like a busy sign!

The names are not changeable because I paid super economy. I told him this at the start.

OP posts:
ICarriedTheWatermelon · 25/09/2024 14:24

What a weasel faced jerk!!

Sorry you are going through this, dumping someone via text is just mean and pathetic.

Clarinet1 · 25/09/2024 14:24

I think it was a cowardly way for him to dump you but: Firstly, yes get the money back from him for the holiday; Secondly, see whether you can find someone else to go with (Friend? Sister? Mum? Favourite Auntie?); Thirdly, and most importantly, please, please get away from what your user name suggests, your sole purpose in life is not to pair off with man; there are lots of wonderful times to be had following interests, with friends and even on you own! If anyone tells you otherwise, they are not good friends. Also, they do say nothing attracts like a busy sign!

Original poster
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 14:24

recyclemeagain · 25/09/2024 14:22

There's a big lesson here OP about learning to live within your means and planning appropriately for your circumstances rather than the lifestyle you seem to want everyone to think you lead. Going from both this post and your other one. Otherwise you're in for one heck of bump back to Earth in the next 5 years or so. Time to wisen up a bit and give up the high value nonsense. It's doing you no favours and isn't making you happy.

Are you commenting on the right thread? I have no interest in projecting my materialism on social media and I'm not sure how you made that conclusion.

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 25/09/2024 14:23

You're so young OP. What with this and your other thread, if I was your mum I'd be rather worried to be honest. I have similar aged DDs, you need to calm down /slow down a bit.

recyclemeagain · 25/09/2024 14:22

There's a big lesson here OP about learning to live within your means and planning appropriately for your circumstances rather than the lifestyle you seem to want everyone to think you lead. Going from both this post and your other one. Otherwise you're in for one heck of bump back to Earth in the next 5 years or so. Time to wisen up a bit and give up the high value nonsense. It's doing you no favours and isn't making you happy.

lemonvortex · 25/09/2024 14:22

Lemonadeand · 25/09/2024 14:21

What’s going to Oxford got to do with anything? Lots of incredibly academic people there who aren’t so good with emotions.

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It's remarkably juvenile and hyperbolic. But then I've just read her other thread, so may have overdosed on the drama of it all.