Saying please don’t drop daughter caused resulted in silent treated

🙄
Fgs

Why did you say MY child, rather than OUR child?

I suspect the answer to the question you have posed lies in why you chose that specific wording.

did you mean to say ' please don't drop Daisy ' ? rather than MY daughter...

MY child, said to her other parent? Yabu.

Sounds fairly childish of him to sulk, but not if that comment was the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of you having everything your way when it comes to parenting/being controlling or similar issues.

It wasn’t said as a joke.

But in the OP you said "I very light heartedly told my dh", which to me seems pretty close to a joke...

From this later information it sounds to me like DH may also have been concentrating hard with the steep/tight stairs. Under those circumstances, telling him not to drop DD, which the very thing he is trying hard to avoid, is not likely go down very well. In his place I be tempted to say something like "Well thanks for that, I was actually going to drop-kick her down the stairs but I've changed my mind now". I hope that I wouldn't say it out loud, but some people (I'm definitely one) have a low threshold for the bleeding obvious, especially when we're trying hard.

Ignoring you for the rest of the day seems a bit dickish, though. A bit of bickering is normal when you're under the constant stress of looking after a small child, but when DP and I have an incident of this type we just go to opposite ends of the house for ten minutes and then things get back to normal.

You're both being unreasonable. I hope you apologised, but he shouldn't sulk for that long. I wouldn't be surprised if it's part of a wider issue, do you criticise his parenting otherwise, or not trust him? Or treat him like the inferior parent?

Sleep deprivation and other child-related stress does that.

You'll find much worse things happen so best to build up some resilience (on both sides) and learn to get over/let go of things quickly.

From his emphasis on "our", it seems to me that it's the "MY daughter" part that annoyed him, not the "don't drop her" part. I wonder whether you say "my daughter" more often than you think and it annoys him. You've actually also used the same phrase in your first sentence, "We climbed the Arc de Triomphe with my daughter". That should read "We climbed the AdT with OUR daughter."

What other stuff is he doing because I’d bet this isn’t the sum total of it?

In my (thankfully) healthy relationship my partner wouldnt even raise an eyebrow at me describing my kids as my kids. They are my absolute world, the air I breathe and I’d die in a heart beat for them. So he would totally expect me to say similar to you and would have reassured me not blanked me.

It was wrong to say ''My child'' as he is the father.

Haha no :)

And when he does do you sulk for the whole day in order to punish him?

Really, people don't day "my child" or "your child" ever to their spouse for fear of offending them so grievously they give them the silent treatment for an entire day? I've definitely said "Husband, your child is colouring in the dog" or "please don't teach my child swear words in Spanish" or whatever. Incredibly he's managed to take that biting cruelty on the chin all these years.

In a vacuum, the OP made a joke which landed poorly. I can think of several responses the husband could've gone with that weren't passive aggression and then throwing a day-long strop like a toddler. Unless there's some serious backstory of OP being overly controlling and anxious about the child, I think her husband is being a massive flower tbh.

He's not automatically a dick. Perhaps he's an exhausted dad trying his best and has taken a offhand, if unhelpful comment from OP too sensitively. I feel like we've all been there.

OP might or might not have form for doing that. Her DH might or might not have form for being oversensitive. But asking for opinions on this isolated incident seems a bit point-scoring in itself and I think the better thing to do is for you both to let it go and move on

All depends on tone, and general background of the relationship/parenting history.

From what you've said, you were both unreasonable. There might be background to suggest one of you was in the right.

I used to say this all the time to my then partner (and father of my son), also in a light hearted way. It used to annoy him as well but he wouldn't have ignored me for the rest of the day.

So my husband dropped our son when he was 1 from shoulder height on his head down onto a patio. I felt it was okay to say please be careful you don’t drop him, in future. Because of the incident. But without any good reason historically you don’t need to warn him to be careful.

also I really hate it when husband calls our Dc, my son or my child. They are OURS

There was no need for your comment, no need for you to say she was yours either. I’d have been pissed at you too, but the silent treatment is childish and shitty communication. You’re both shitty to each other in this situation

I have anxiety which I do my best to control but in certain times like one you've described, I might say (in a nice tone) "take care of our babies/boys". To my husband. He always just replies, also in a nice tone, "i will".
The fact you said "my" maybe is what set him off? Maybe the tone you said it? Still, it's not a reason to ignore you all day. He needs to grow up.

Good job you reminded him!

When DS was a toddler we were in France, Anjou I think, at some castle/chateau or other. DH dangled him over the battlements and I freaked out.
We both still remember it over 20 years later, him for my unreasonableness (if that's a word) and me for his cavalier attitude to safety.

He’s a dick to have sulked at all, let alone for the rest of the day, but he’s within his rights to have been pissed off with that comment, however ‘lighthearted’.

It comes off as not only not trusting him to take appropriate care, but insinuating that he’s not an equal parent or as invested in your child’s wellbeing as you are. Do you often say stuff like that? And did you apologise afterwards or just double down?

You’re both in the wrong. But parenting a 1 yr old is knackering and doesn’t always bring out the best in partnerships, so you probably both need to cut each other a bit of slack.

We unintentionally began a helpful dynamic when our first was tiny. We can both be jittery about safety though often on different things so if DH said “don’t cut her finger” when I was doing her nails I’d reply “oh you don’t want me to cut the baby?!” and we’d both chuckle.

A bit of levity has stopped either of us getting narky and we acknowledge we love them equally and share a concern for their safety so when someone says something daft the other acknowledges it’s been raised and doesn’t feel undermined or got at.